Open Mic: The Circle of Lost Soulmates

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Objective View Drop Down
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    Posted: 13 August 2020 at 2:24am

"Love is potent", he whispered as he
tinkered emotions with wishful approaches.
She perceived sex to what an oath is-
the holy ghost with Amors bows hypnosis.
You sure as hell he knows this...
-
So he noticed her glamour and detail for self,
handled her well - the price to sell Heaven for Hell.
Devil may tell such tales of betrayal and greed,
a wager indeed to treat lust with behaviors that's sweet.
He took advantage of what made her complete,
bled her heart with infectuous cancer as romance retreats.
Her obsession won't question aggression cus "those traits are unique!"
Lied when she spoke tales of how he was immune/soft:
"Not his fault that he's damaged and weak."
Her subconscious thoughts sung tunes of
"but that's all folks indeed..."
...
Doorbell rang of expections, hope and bittersweet love,
a stroke of acceptance to cope with this industry's low.
He glows of masculine throes with a compelling melodies' vows,
as she fell on these sounds thinkin' "honesty" is covered in nouns
for being abstract and sound.
But a thief of the night abuse the relaxed and profound.
Flirtatious stages embrace the aimless with cantered champagne,
he bantered and sang when he jokingly asked for his name.
Hopefully poking at strings of touché, can't write in that way
of scenes with the moon over heels only the sinful portray.
...
As he buckled up, tucked his shirt while she talked and such,
"You liked it?", she asked, "Wasn't bad but not so much..."
She struck him with daggers and words from a warlords master:
"I shouldn't have asked it, you forlorn bastard!"
His laugh slit through her inner self and got stationed in Hell,
now she only accept roses from her own creations herself
as they too get shelved and stranded by romances' spell.
Yet,
it could have been avoided if they cracked open their shells,
conversed past blunders instead of using them as reasons to dwell.

Such injust is lust imbued to their skull,
souls' sold on cold rejections' feud with the mold.
Come hike the mountain of secrets complex emotions control,
or seek out the ocean of riches - then tell it your wishes -
and fold.

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Crimson Juice View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crimson Juice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 August 2020 at 11:04am
Nice verse this,i liked the cause and effect senario of love/encounters within,
and how like a rose it withers and dies if not cared for, the word choices were
solid too, the concept reminded me of a coin or ying and Yang with its two sided
approach, hence the reason i typed it had a cause and effect vibe, i also enjoyed
the poetic stance, a nicely layered drop when all typed and done, your mechanics
were a highlight too in their own right, to be honest i've got nothing but praise for
this, i can't really find a fault with this, well except this line,

"he bantered and sang when he jokingly asked for his name".

came off like he was asking himself the question of a name,but this is just me
being a prick and picky, but it stopped me in my tracks on reading and interruped
the flow, other than that it was a pleasure to read, ripe verse and I shall look for
your alias from now on..peace
"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance".
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Objective View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Objective Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 August 2020 at 1:39pm
Thanks for the well thought out feed, I'll change that line to this:

"he bantered and sang when he jokingly asked Denise for his name".
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Absolute Abomination View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Absolute Abomination Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 September 2020 at 5:45pm
This was hella dope. You got a gift for storytelling, in such a unique way too. It's a great way to convey the "words are weapons" belief, topped with a pert near perfectly rhyming scheme...really good read.
Show me a fortress and I'll show you a ruin.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Vellum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 September 2020 at 3:14am
wow, man! beautifully written. Keep up the great work.
www.victherapper.newgrounds.com
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