Open Mic: The Pale Horse

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Don't get lost when you lead the host
Caz it's your mind that I read the most
of those backs u stab u need the most
So Kill the hope and you'll heed the ghost
When it bleeds the nose the head is up
When the geese are close the lead is up
A season for shootin' a reason for cookin'
But at me you aim, the vision I'm lookin'?
Deceivin' and crookin', you live your life
And it's bad energy you give the strife
So goes forever 'til arthritis eats ya joint?
Using all my strength to reach your point
sins don't wash away when the rain pours
Couldn't hide from a ride on a pale horse
When you lone, who will stand right by u?
Kill your own, caz I heard-u-can like Ryu
From your Genie a coffin I'd be wished at
Caz like a movie it's run when I see-biscuit
You're Pegasus without wings, without my arm
Without my love, a unicorn without a horn 
How to trust u when u aint got my back
You just use it to win and top the track
Aarg Fuck a sad song just stop the track
You just want my people to rock the black
Just drop the act, it's drama when I see ya
And I stay sober caz I never wanna be- ya
Caz I feel you pack traits of a woman alright
You're as broad as day so you'll never be a knight
Now you see the light I am of the four horseman
We fight together and my hate for you is worsenin'
Our Relation loosenin', history is what the course's 'bout
I'll curse u out, n when u die u'll hear from the horse's mouth.

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6 Boson Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Banned Joined: 10 April 2015 Status: Offline Points: 57 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: LW	Post Options Post Reply Quote 6 Boson Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Topic: The Pale Horse Posted: 16 April 2015 at 3:36pm
	Don't get lost when you lead the host Caz it's your mind that I read the most of those backs u stab u need the most So Kill the hope and you'll heed the ghost When it bleeds the nose the head is up When the geese are close the lead is up A season for shootin' a reason for cookin' But at me you aim, the vision I'm lookin'? Deceivin' and crookin', you live your life And it's bad energy you give the strife So goes forever 'til arthritis eats ya joint? Using all my strength to reach your point sins don't wash away when the rain pours Couldn't hide from a ride on a pale horse When you lone, who will stand right by u? Kill your own, caz I heard-u-can like Ryu From your Genie a coffin I'd be wished at Caz like a movie it's run when I see-biscuit You're Pegasus without wings, without my arm Without my love, a unicorn without a horn How to trust u when u aint got my back You just use it to win and top the track Aarg Fuck a sad song just stop the track You just want my people to rock the black Just drop the act, it's drama when I see ya And I stay sober caz I never wanna be- ya Caz I feel you pack traits of a woman alright You're as broad as day so you'll never be a knight Now you see the light I am of the four horseman We fight together and my hate for you is worsenin' Our Relation loosenin', history is what the course's 'bout I'll curse u out, n when u die u'll hear from the horse's mouth.

daydizzle89 Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Superior Member Joined: 23 July 2014 Status: Offline Points: 3805 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LWWLLW	Post Options Post Reply Quote daydizzle89 Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 16 April 2015 at 5:13pm
	Brothaman, nice shit The flow was really nice here. You transitioned each rhyme well. The multis used were nice and clear cut. this helped with the flow. Your content and concepts are great. The way you are able to grasp the content and run with it is almost poetic. Very nice imagery and the vocabulary. This was a Gem brothaman. You have a great understanding on how to catch people and draw them in with your verses. Dope shit. One thing though is that I would have made the lines a little longer. This isn't because of the flow. its because when im reading it, I have a short pause between lines. This is dope either way. keep at it

Alpha&Omega Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Joined: 07 April 2015 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 31	Post Options Post Reply Quote Alpha&Omega Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 16 April 2015 at 8:18pm
	I think this rhyme was very good. The concept was beautifully articulated. The vocabulary was, which helped with the articulation, was good. I liked your wordplay. I thought the flow was on point. And yes, what Day above said, it was poetic. I wish to highlight these bars: So goes forever 'til arthritis eats ya joint? Using all my strength to reach your point sins don't wash away when the rain pours Couldn't hide from a ride on a pale horse When you lone, who will stand right by u? Kill your own, caz I heard-u-can like Ryu From your Genie a coffin I'd be wished at Caz like a movie it's run when I see-biscuit You're Pegasus without wings, without my arm Without my love, a unicorn without a horn I thought this stuff was great. Great drop!

6 Boson Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Banned Joined: 10 April 2015 Status: Offline Points: 57 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: LW	Post Options Post Reply Quote 6 Boson Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 16 April 2015 at 8:33pm
	Thanx for that good feed Dizzle and Alpha, I appreciate it

6 Boson Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Banned Joined: 10 April 2015 Status: Offline Points: 57 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: LW	Post Options Post Reply Quote 6 Boson Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 17 April 2015 at 11:28am
	Bump

Rational Madman Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Groupie Joined: 03 September 2013 Location: Pure Poetry Status: Offline Points: 174 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-6-1 Form: LLLNLL	Post Options Post Reply Quote Rational Madman Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 17 April 2015 at 11:59am
	Good rhyme scheme but wtf is with the meaning of it? You're like lil wayne (and unlike most people say he's a genius when it comes to lyrics) It's just he never themes his songs or focuses their meaning so he always ends up looking like an idiot. focus hard on a theme and make the meaning clearer and I'll become a fan. ;)


6 Boson Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Banned Joined: 10 April 2015 Status: Offline Points: 57 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: LW	Post Options Post Reply Quote 6 Boson Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 17 April 2015 at 3:22pm
	Ok... Open your mind a lil bit, adjust it to a more multi-dimensional state and you'll be good to Go

Nigma Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Site Moderator Joined: 25 March 2013 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 4077 Crew: Elision	Post Options Post Reply Quote Nigma Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 17 April 2015 at 9:40pm
	Mechanics strong here and for an abstract piece you did your thing. Only complaint is that the verse kinda lacked direction for me. Had a bunch of cool lines throughout but didn't progress. I was just perusing through the Missing Princess piece you dropped so I know you're capable of if, this came across as more of a mechanics display. Solid piece for what it is, glad to see some new talent around here.


6 Boson Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Banned Joined: 10 April 2015 Status: Offline Points: 57 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: LW	Post Options Post Reply Quote 6 Boson Report Post Likes(0) Quote Reply Posted: 18 April 2015 at 9:20am
	Thanx for the feed nigma