Text Battle Archive: The Rap Daemon vs Vellum

4 bars
Due date: 1 week @ most

Oh okay 2 weeks it is my bad. I'm about to keystyle my verse in like 10 minutes.

Expos
1. Daemon is pronounced demon so the a is silent
2.Constantine is a movie keanu reeves murders demons in
3. Writers block fucks up the raps you want to write
4. His name starts with t and golf tee

This vote has been accepted by a moderator.

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Nice battle here fella's,it's going to be a hard one to call this..

Vellum.

I found your verse to be rather well directed at TRD,your personals via name play
were present,the similies also came off relatable which added more weight to the
actual punches within,and it also flowed real well,i liked the fact you went with the
humour route here,kind of gave the vibe you was toying with him,as it seemed to
read unforced and natural,plus humour heightens punches and adds power to them
on the whole in a text battle,a steady piece that hit the mark on most fronts where
voting categories are concerned,nice verse.


TRD.

Like Vellum your verse was pretty much in the same vein really,you too had decent
similies bolstering up your punches,and you were also clean with the personals too,
and again like Vellum this was well directed and aimed also,i enjoyed the sprite you
came with from start to finish,your set up and punches were clicking well throughout
this piece,you also showed some creative spark as did Vellum,hence my opening
statement,you too did well here with the categories dude,so I say again for you,well
done..


Overall a nice battle me thinks,both were in the same zone with their offerings,which
is why im finding it hard to call a winner,plus i liked both verses too for their direction
and plays,enjoyable battle by both,but there has to be a winner right?,and if i could i
would call draw here,(just to let that be known),so i had to find an element to separate
you both when choosing a winner here,and for me it boiled down to flow,I feel Vellum's
verse was just that bit smoother overall, and slightly more pleasing on the eye when reading,i know this is probably a lame call,but in truth it's all I could use to separate
the 2 of you's,i expect a seesaw process on the voting as it was real close,and TRD
that Messi bar was good..

Vote...Vellum...peace

This vote has been accepted by a moderator.

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VELLUM

If I was him I'd just quit playing this game & straight 'remain silent' like the 'A in his name!'

Dope start. Not a huge angle but so crisp in execution that for me this lands really well.

You insane in the brain if you thinking u stopping me Cuz honestly  I'll get rid of this demon like Constantine!

Now this was a decent concept, and done well enough with it, I do feel it could've been worded better though.

When dropping frees I'm a leave you guys in shock How 'I'm fuckin up The Rap' like a case of "Writer's Block!"

Nice. But I have a pet peeve with taking liberties with nicknames to force name plays.
Basically no-one would ever refer to him as "The Rap" in conversation, so it doesn't really work. But that's just me, no-one else seems to mind, so as a play it's OK.
One other thing here though ... doesn't it read better if you remove 3 words ...
How 'I'm fuckin up The Rap' like "Writer's Block!"

This guy is shot ... So I'm beating this clown  It's like i play golf the way I'm putting 'T in the ground!'

See above.
This bar in itself, is decent, and would be a fire closer ...
if you were battling Rapper T ... or Trizzy Tre etc.
It just doesn't feel right calling him T ... when it's short for "The" ... sorry but no.


THE RAP

This battle's a race, you're race the minority kind You're finished but through mistakes only time you're crossing the line!

Ok. Setup was a bit contrived, but I liked where you went with the punch, but was just a bit too wordy.

No matter if you got 'drive', a win for you won't happen 'Coz we'll only see V with a W when looking at a Volkswagen!

Great concept, felt you did pretty well with this one.

You rap about the skills you have? Then you will have sold me kid 'Coz '90's Rap Was Better' only true with the bold scheme as a review of your own pieces!

Not a fan of this.
I get what you were doing, but was worded just horribly.

My shots bury your hopes, like football my bars a piece of art Plus they leave you lyin' all messy on an exit like the Argentina star!

Reasonably well put together, but still a little word heavy,
but the main problem here is the originality of the punch ... I'm pretty sure you must have heard that particular wordplay done before, no?


All in all, decent showing from both.

V got that slick tried and tested formula approach, and those next line follow ons that help to smooth it all out ... I don't think you went as hard as you can, and I look forward to seeing when you do.

"The" has come a long way, but still seems like trying too hard and sometimes a little forced. Concepts OK, but need to phrase them more succinctly, and naturally.

So ... MFVGT ... Vellum

3-0 Vellum and KO.