Open Mic: Lax's Room

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Lax View Drop Down
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    Posted: 15 September 2011 at 9:56am
[verse 1]

Honey, your bee's made you to be the sweetest in the hive
But that bear you're with, made you sour to keep his evil alive
Without you, he's ego deprived 
He'll act with fake tears just to make you give the sequel a try
Never give him a chance and be celibate
Zero probability of giving a fuck as an estimate
You saw what he did, he turned your heart to sediments
When he torched your heart with a warming gift of his mistresses
I understand how you feel, and I know how it looks like
I know it's going bad if you can only count the good times
If you tell him you're leaving him, you got to do it with boots tied
And I promise that you'll feel better and call that a goodbye
Just take my hand, and I'll show you what a man is
I'll be on one knee with roses like it was for practice 
You say that I'm sweet, here's some candy for those glad lips
And place them on mine to join them together like it's our last kiss
But it's the beginning of something greater, filled with romance
Take pictures of us smiling and giving it to your ex to hold that
When the music plays, and when we hold hands
I hope that we can stop time all together to have this slow dance
So

[Chorus]

Forget that dude, who has broke your heart
He's the reason that the bolt has no sparks
So 
Forget that dude, that had made mistakes
Now you see my mug when you see his face 
I'm just saying you can do better...
I'm the exception to the douchebag gender...
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spume corrupt View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote spume corrupt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 September 2011 at 10:23am
Yeah this wa cute man
Bit slushy but that's cool
Yo had some nice rhymes up in here
Good ups Lax

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Manc View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Manc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 September 2011 at 1:01pm
LOL @ spume - a bit slushy hahaha
 
I kind of agree, but yea, that made it a good read and helped the idea mesh together nicely from line to line. Flowed really well in parts too Lax. Another nice drop kiddo


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Lax View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Lax Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 September 2011 at 1:57pm
Lol slushy.

Thanks you two. Now do my a favor and give feedback to the Headlines piece. It's way better than this and NOTB. Gracias :*
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Young-chukky Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 September 2011 at 6:35pm
This is dope,really flowed well,so connected to the topic,very nice imagery,good multis,pretty wordplay.
Nice post man,wil really love to see more from you.
Killed my nightmare with bare hands
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