Open Mic: Blood & Bondage: Gateway Drugs

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    Posted: 26 February 2016 at 5:50pm
Lenny worked the graveyard
tho he mostly patrolled the bays docks
had a knack for observation
but was constantly harboring strange thoughts
only waking from his daydreams
as the crane dropped
Len dog, had gotten an insane plot-

always a fan of horror fiction
something missing, normal intuition
said he was just bored
but headed toward a course of collision
started as a sort of morbid addiction
but soon became more,
his sordid vision, distorted -
warped and twisted
'welcome to hell' -
the words would echo.. the source was within him

after his shift, he normally hopped the bus
this time he thought,
lets head downtown and cop a buzz
after a brief stroll through the park
he posted on the bench
about thirty four minutes passed
before someone approached em and said
'whats good, you waitin for somethin?"
lenny shook his head,
'nah, im out here for basically nothing'
the stranger replied with a warning
'nobody waits for nothing
at eight in the morning'
lenny nodded, palms sweating
stranger said "I know what you need
you looking for that rocksteady"
lenny peered at his new friend
thought to himself -
we got a problem houston.
'not my thing bro, never was me
when I trip, I keep it chemical free"
stranger agreed
said 'I only fuck with the weed
but I got a bag of these shrooms
hundred for the Z?"
Len slid him the cheese
and homie took off on his feet.

after defeat, he sulked his way home
saw a sticker with a number
stuck on a payphone
'Vampire Society - Initiation Daily'
Lennys wish come true -
entered it hastily, giggling crazy
'hello?…' 'yes?' whispered a lady
'I seek initiation, my name is Lenny'
'what do you offer?'
'just me, im short on anything with money'
'thats not something we look for honey'
several minutes past during the questionnaire
'you seem like a fine candidate -
come to the lakehouse, look for cabin eight
dont be late, and just walk through the drapes'
before Lenny could respond with excitement
the dial tone hit, and the room went silent

he ran to the bathroom
stared straight in the mirror
felt that welcome to hell voice say
'your moment is near'
q-tipped the ears
threw on a rockband t shirt
and swiftly kicked it in gear
almost forgot his keys
did a quick sprint back
felt himself growing foisty
not a good first impression
on his colleagues
decided to grab some dollar store cologne
he loved the scent of 'Fall Leafs'
started down the street
just feeling so jolly..
whistling and skipping while walking..

the lakehouse was grand comparatively
no frontdoor
just curtains a dark shade of green
the aroma was a mix of decay and latrine
but fuck it, time to start living the dream


four druids greeted him almost immediately
'no turning back now -
but you can scream if you need'
the chants starting with a soft hymn
as the voluptuous succubus walks in
the cloaked men had then squatted
'peasant, why are you wearing garments?
your frivolous fabrics make me nauseous"
her accent was not local - was british
'my bad, I told you on the phone I was shy
your beauty makes me timid'
her eyes said livid
lenny quickly got to strippin'
she commanded he lay flat -
'close your eyes, we'll begin the commitment'
lennys whole body stiffened
he felt a pierce on his neck
and a couple of tugs from the vixen
her palm on his forehead,
she just repeatly bit him

Len woke up, fully nude and no clothes
his neck was sore and felt swole
he yanked the drapes from the front door
and turned into some sort of monk robe
got to the doctor, said he was mugged
the man said 'well, looks like hepatitis b'
and then shrugged
'ill get you some prescriptions -
you should be more careful when buying drugs'
his face was smug,
as he sighed - 'sorry about your luck'
so for the next few months..
as lenny was in bed, popping meds..
all he could think about
was wanting to be a vampire
but instead…
wound up looking like a cast member
of the walking dead…
#Bananas
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote daydizzle89 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 February 2016 at 6:01pm

Lenny worked the graveyard
tho he mostly patrolled the bays docks
had a knack for observation
but was constantly harboring strange thoughts
only waking from his daydreams
as the crane dropped
Len dog, had gotten an insane plot-

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Nice giving a name off the back.
Flow is butter like usual and great use of
multis


always a fan of horror fiction
something missing, normal intuition
said he was just bored
but headed toward a course of collision
started as a sort of morbid addiction
but soon became more,
his sordid vision, distorted -
warped and twisted
'welcome to hell' -
the words would echo.. the source was within him

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
ok ok ok need, you went from a soft flow to this
bouncy pounce flow. nice, also gotta say that im
liking the vocabulary and the shcemes you have going.
storie is picking up. Seems like Lenny is getting
alittle dark, like its growing on him. He doesnt know
what it is yet. DOPE


after his shift, he normally hopped the bus
this time he thought,
lets head downtown and cop a buzz
after a brief stroll through the park
he posted on the bench
about thirty four minutes passed
before someone approached em and said
'whats good, you waitin for somethin?"
lenny shook his head,
'nah, im out here for basically nothing'
the stranger replied with a warning
'nobody waits for nothing
at eight in the morning'
lenny nodded, palms sweating
stranger said "I know what you need
you looking for that rocksteady"
lenny peered at his new friend
thought to himself -
we got a problem houston.
'not my thing bro, never was me
when I trip, I keep it chemical free"
stranger agreed
said 'I only fuck with the weed
but I got a bag of these shrooms
hundred for the Z?"
Len slid him the cheese
and homie took off on his feet.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Loving this, its like he still doesnt know
whats going on for the first portion of this
segment. Dope. Ok, BAMMM NEEKK, DRUGS. I LOVE
DRUGS. Nice setup for us to figure our whats
popping

 

after defeat, he sulked his way home
saw a sticker with a number
stuck on a payphone
'Vampire Society - Initiation Daily'
Lennys wish come true -
entered it hastily, giggling crazy
'hello?…' 'yes?' whispered a lady
'I seek initiation, my name is Lenny'
'what do you offer?'
'just me, im short on anything with money'
'thats not something we look for honey'
several minutes past during the questionnaire
'you seem like a fine candidate -
come to the lakehouse, look for cabin eight
dont be late, and just walk through the drapes'
before Lenny could respond with excitement

the dial tone hit, and the room went silent
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
loving the build up here bro. Gotta say
your multis are always hella fresh and
the slants work perfect with my tongue.
The excitement and suspense is building here.
ahhhh fuck

 

he ran to the bathroom
stared straight in the mirror
felt that welcome to hell voice say
'your moment is near'
q-tipped the ears
threw on a rockband t shirt
and swiftly kicked it in gear
almost forgot his keys
did a quick sprint back
felt himself growing foisty
not a good first impression
on his colleagues
decided to grab some dollar store cologne
he loved the scent of 'Fall Leafs'
started down the street
just feeling so jolly..
whistling and skipping while walking..

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Hahahaha, dude i have the picture of
what this guy looks like to a tee. This
is dope. Loving the imagery throughout this
whole piece


the lakehouse was grand comparatively
no frontdoor
just curtains a dark shade of green
the aroma was a mix of decay and latrine
but fuck it, time to start living the dream

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Nice, i can smell this shit from where i am !!!!


four druids greeted him almost immediately
'no turning back now -
but you can scream if you need'
the chants starting with a soft hymn
as the voluptuous succubus walks in
the cloaked men had then squatted
'peasant, why are you wearing garments?
your fivolous fabrics make me nauseous"
her accent was not local - was british
'my bad, I told you on the phone I was shy
your beauty makes me timid'
her eyes said livid
lenny quickly got to strippin'
she commanded he lay flat -
'closed your eyes, we'll begin the commitment'
lennys whole body stiffened
he felt a pierce on his neck
and a couple of tugs from the vixen
her palm on his forehead,
she just repeatly bit him

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Fuck Yes Neek. Let that whore vampire
bite the fuck outta him. Nice descriptiveness
here and the anticipation leading up to this
was real. DOPE


Len woke up, fully nude and no clothes
his neck was swore and felt swole
he yanked the drapes from the front door
and turned into some sort of monk robe
got to the doctor, said he was mugged
the man said 'well, looks like hepatitis b'
and then shrugged
'ill get you some prescriptions -
you should be more careful when buying drugs'
his face was smug,
as he sighed - 'sorry about your luck'
so for the next few months..
as lenny was in bed, popping meds..
all he could think about
was wanting to be a vampire
but instead…
wound up looking like a cast member
of the walking dead…

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Really? Thats how you are gonna do me Neek? Thats
how you are going to do this. Fucking with me witha
sick ass motherfucking twist? What the fuck are you
smoking. This was dope as hell Neek. Loved every line.


Overall - Story was fucking slick. Clever ass twist
but you had me hoping you made a new character i can
feed off Lenny. The technical shit is pure and magic.
DOPE WORK HERE NEEEKKKK

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote Neek Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 February 2016 at 6:05pm
glad you enjoyed it.


havnt decided where im taking the Lenny story yet.


if he reseaches vampires on the innerwebz an finds real ones/becomes one/seeks revenge or if real vampires catch up to the cult of ID stealing gypsys...


but as SELF said - all one universe, use Lenny as need be
#Bananas
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote SELF ACTIVATE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 February 2016 at 8:38pm
Lenny worked the graveyard
tho he mostly patrolled the bays docks
had a knack for observation
but was constantly harboring strange thoughts
only waking from his daydreams
as the crane dropped
Len dog, had gotten an insane plot-

^ I like how natural and realistic this intro is. Lenny seems like an everyday dude living a pretty ordinary life. Your imagery here is insane. I can picture it all. From the first line to the last ... I'm intrigued.

always a fan of horror fiction
something missing, normal intuition
said he was just bored
but headed toward a course of collision
started as a sort of morbid addiction
but soon became more,
his sordid vision, distorted -
warped and twisted
'welcome to hell' -
the words would echo.. the source was within him

First thing I notice here is the flow. It's liquid. The way you laid the scheme is dope. It's bobbing and weaving with excellent form. Also, the language is natural...free of pretense. Just dope dawg.

after his shift, he normally hopped the bus
this time he thought,
lets head downtown and cop a buzz
after a brief stroll through the park
he posted on the bench
about thirty four minutes passed
before someone approached em and said
'whats good, you waitin for somethin?"
lenny shook his head,
'nah, im out here for basically nothing'
the stranger replied with a warning
'nobody waits for nothing
at eight in the morning'
lenny nodded, palms sweating
stranger said "I know what you need
you looking for that rocksteady"
lenny peered at his new friend
thought to himself -
we got a problem houston.
'not my thing bro, never was me
when I trip, I keep it chemical free"
stranger agreed
said 'I only fuck with the weed
but I got a bag of these shrooms
hundred for the Z?"
Len slid him the cheese
and homie took off on his feet.


Man...you know how to set a scene and tell a story. Again, I can see it all. In fact I feel like I'm there. Hell, I feel like I am Lenny. Another thing I'm liking is how real your dialogue is here. Nothing seems forced or exaggerated. Its all perfectly balanced and believable.


after defeat, he sulked his way home
saw a sticker with a number
stuck on a payphone
'Vampire Society - Initiation Daily'
Lennys wish come true -
entered it hastily, giggling crazy
'hello?…' 'yes?' whispered a lady
'I seek initiation, my name is Lenny'
'what do you offer?'
'just me, im short on anything with money'
'thats not something we look for honey'
several minutes past during the questionnaire
'you seem like a fine candidate -
come to the lakehouse, look for cabin eight
dont be late, and just walk through the drapes'
before Lenny could respond with excitement
the dial tone hit, and the room went silent


^Goddamn bro...you have truly mastered the art of description. Like Dizz you understand the importance of creating an entire environment out of the detailed inclusion of the most random of items. And the little nuances you throw into your conversations are incredible.



he ran to the bathroom
stared straight in the mirror
felt that welcome to hell voice say
'your moment is near'
q-tipped the ears
threw on a rockband t shirt
and swiftly kicked it in gear
almost forgot his keys
did a quick sprint back
felt himself growing foisty
not a good first impression
on his colleagues
decided to grab some dollar store cologne
he loved the scent of 'Fall Leafs'
started down the street
just feeling so jolly..
whistling and skipping while walking..

the lakehouse was grand comparatively
no frontdoor
just curtains a dark shade of green
the aroma was a mix of decay and latrine
but fuck it, time to start living the dream

Dude, your a comedian on the low. Not only is this story creative and well written, but it plays out like a parody of a horror movie. For some reason I picture James Franco and Seth Rogan adapting this into an actual comedy with Jim Breuer (Goatboy from SNL) playing Lenny.

four druids greeted him almost immediately
'no turning back now -
but you can scream if you need'
the chants starting with a soft hymn
as the voluptuous succubus walks in
the cloaked men had then squatted
'peasant, why are you wearing garments?
your frivolous fabrics make me nauseous"
her accent was not local - was british
'my bad, I told you on the phone I was shy
your beauty makes me timid'
her eyes said livid
lenny quickly got to strippin'
she commanded he lay flat -
'close your eyes, we'll begin the commitment'
lennys whole body stiffened
he felt a pierce on his neck
and a couple of tugs from the vixen
her palm on his forehead,
she just repeatly bit him

Len woke up, fully nude and no clothes
his neck was sore and felt swole
he yanked the drapes from the front door
and turned into some sort of monk robe
got to the doctor, said he was mugged
the man said 'well, looks like hepatitis b'
and then shrugged
'ill get you some prescriptions -
you should be more careful when buying drugs'
his face was smug,
as he sighed - 'sorry about your luck'
so for the next few months..
as lenny was in bed, popping meds..
all he could think about
was wanting to be a vampire
but instead…
wound up looking like a cast member
of the walking dead…

Damn, poor Lenny. All he wanted to do was grow bat wings. Smh.

Neek, I think this piece deserves An HOF induction (easily). Hell, I'd go as far as to say it's classics worthy. It flowed like water. The story was funny, intriguing, and wildly original...and mechanically it was top notch from start to finish. Definitely next level stuff here. I'm gonna nom it for both.

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote SELF ACTIVATE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 April 2016 at 12:18am
Wanted to nom this piece a few months back, but never could figure out where to go to do it. Anyway, I'm now nominateing this for HOF /Classics.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote JBrenn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 April 2016 at 4:37am
Wow this is such a nice read... flows easily and seamlessly the whole thing hold content.
Im a huge fan of WP and tongue twisting lyrical lashings this was short on the word play but the lyrical styles you put into this were super entertaining!!! great drop neek!
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Endeavor Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 April 2016 at 9:12am
Neek, once I get my studio shit going again I need to do a collab with you man. Your flow is so retardedly good, Shy Glizzy aint got shit on you.

I never had a verse from you where I couldn't flow a certain section or whatever... You're ill like that. I'd almost give you my first born, but you know, I'm attached to that little rascal. Anywho...

Quote Lenny worked the graveyardtho he mostly patrolled the bays docks
had a knack for observation
but was constantly harboring strange thoughts
only waking from his daydreams
as the crane dropped
Len dog, had gotten an insane plot-

So yeah, that flow... It has this beautiful balance... You fly through it but it's all very vivid. Takes skill, forreal. <- like that. Skill - forreal? It rhymes? No? Ok!

Quote always a fan of horror fictionsomething missing, normal intuition
said he was just bored
but headed toward a course of collision
started as a sort of morbid addiction
but soon became more, 
his sordid vision, distorted - 
warped and twisted 

'welcome to hell' - 
the words would echo.. the source was within him


The bolded section is awesome as hell. 

Quote after his shift, he normally hopped the busthis time he thought, 
lets head downtown and cop a buzz
after a brief stroll through the park
he posted on the bench
about thirty four minutes passed
before someone approached em and said
'whats good, you waitin for somethin?"
lenny shook his head, 
'nah, im out here for basically nothing'
the stranger replied with a warning
'nobody waits for nothing
at eight in the morning'

Oh man oh man, I could already picture the guy going about his business. You're setting this grimy movie type tone and I like where it's headed.

Quote lenny nodded, palms sweating stranger said "I know what you need
you looking for that rocksteady" 
lenny peered at his new friend
thought to himself - 
we got a problem houston. 
'not my thing bro, never was me
when I trip, I keep it chemical free"
stranger agreed
said 'I only fuck with the weed
but I got a bag of these shrooms
hundred for the Z?" 
Len slid him the cheese
and homie took off on his feet. 

And there we goooooooooo. Consuming shrooms and moving into lucid diluting illusive... stuff. Dope.

Quote after defeat, he sulked his way homesaw a sticker with a number
stuck on a payphone
'Vampire Society - Initiation Daily'
Lennys wish come true -
entered it hastily, giggling crazy
'hello?…' 'yes?' whispered a lady
'I seek initiation, my name is Lenny'
'what do you offer?' 
'just me, im short on anything with money'
'thats not something we look for honey' 
several minutes past during the questionnaire
'you seem like a fine candidate - 
come to the lakehouse, look for cabin eight
dont be late, and just walk through the drapes'
before Lenny could respond with excitement
the dial tone hit, and the room went silent

Wait... Did he use the shrooms yet? I'm hooked by now.

Quote he ran to the bathroom stared straight in the mirror
felt that welcome to hell voice say
'your moment is near'
q-tipped the ears
threw on a rockband t shirt 
and swiftly kicked it in gear 
almost forgot his keys
did a quick sprint back 
felt himself growing foisty
not a good first impression
on his colleagues
decided to grab some dollar store cologne
he loved the scent of 'Fall Leafs' 
started down the street
just feeling so jolly..
whistling and skipping while walking..

Funny how something like describing a certain brand of perfume can add so much to the story. 

Quote the lakehouse was grand comparativelyno frontdoor
just curtains a dark shade of green
the aroma was a mix of decay and latrine
but fuck it, time to start living the dream

This section is awesome. Like Day said, I can smell that shit from here!

Quote four druids greeted him almost immediately'no turning back now -
but you can scream if you need' 
the chants starting with a soft hymn
as the voluptuous succubus walks in
the cloaked men had then squatted 
'peasant, why are you wearing garments?
your frivolous fabrics make me nauseous"
her accent was not local - was british
'my bad, I told you on the phone I was shy
your beauty makes me timid' 
her eyes said livid
lenny quickly got to strippin' 
she commanded he lay flat - 
'close your eyes, we'll begin the commitment'
lennys whole body stiffened 
he felt a pierce on his neck 
and a couple of tugs from the vixen
her palm on his forehead, 
she just repeatly bit him 

Voluptuous succubus with a British accent... Sounds like my perfect woman... I'm digging this vampire shit and I think my girlfriend would as well. She's into that type of shit. You should listen to Gucci Mane - Vampire. Hardest track in existence! YOU BELIEVE IN VAMPIRES I BELIEVE IN VAMPIRES!

Quote Len woke up, fully nude and no clotheshis neck was sore and felt swole 
he yanked the drapes from the front door
and turned into some sort of monk robe
got to the doctor, said he was mugged
the man said 'well, looks like hepatitis b'
and then shrugged 
'ill get you some prescriptions - 
you should be more careful when buying drugs'
his face was smug, 
as he sighed - 'sorry about your luck' 
so for the next few months..
as lenny was in bed, popping meds..
all he could think about 
was wanting to be a vampire 
but instead…
wound up looking like a cast member
of the walking dead…

Holy shit, that twist went straight over my head lol. So... He ate those shrooms, dreamt that whole vampire thing and buttsexxed by the hobo who sold him the shrooms?!

Overall: This shit is dope, even though the twist went over my head I loved it. That flow though...
#Bananas

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote AshleyKaos Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 April 2016 at 10:20am
Hah hey need this was a really interesting one. Sort of inspiring really. Story telling aspect of it was creative and on point and the concept was there....maybe if it could been a little more tight it would have been all the better...but interesting and creatively well done piece
NUMBER 1 FEMALE MC TILL THE DEATH OF ME
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Kiki Spirez Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 April 2016 at 6:22pm
I like pieces like these, cos I can recognise the effort that's gone in to it. If you're anything like me, you'll have almost obsessed over it for a couple of hours, constantly editting, everytime you think it's done, the start to a new verse pops up.. End up writing a near on novel, and looking back at the first verse like, 'did i write that??' haha

Effort aside, it was a very good read. It was a story that needed telling, it didn't need multis crammed in at the sake of the narrative, and you found a good balance. It wasn't too wordy, but it wasn't anywhere near ABC either.

Sounds a bit boring, but my favourite bars are the first two, just something about the structure and wording. Past that the story takes over from the bars, and it was an interesting journey.

Keep up.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote -Que- Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 April 2016 at 12:14am
Neek...I'm going to go back to the first installment and read from there. I like when people have a special collection of drops.

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