Open Mic: [WD#1] Forbidden Art |
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Slip 
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Joined: 04 June 2013 Location: St Johns. N.L. Status: Offline Points: 1612 Crew: Alter Egos Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 14-33-0 Form: LLLWLW |
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 Topic: [WD#1] Forbidden ArtPosted: 14 February 2016 at 12:03am |
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Aeromancy's one of the seven forbidden arts about to reek havoc spirits get ludic with these lyrics on some renaissance magic bringing back dead dictators from there voices on the dictaphone punctuate the dictation they dictated directing subliminals into ya dome the vociferous attitude im givin off people cant ignore it my evil aura is offensive soaking in like an absorbent i send you to a gorgonzola refinery in the back of a rickshaw trap you in a do or die death maze and play a game like jigsaw thinkin some one always makes it out i seen this in a movie tried your hardest to stay alive but your survival went kerflooey Edited by Slip - 14 February 2016 at 12:15am |
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Rude
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Joined: 03 February 2014 Status: Offline Points: 243 Crew: EMPIRE Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-2-0 Form: LWWL |
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Posted: 14 February 2016 at 3:23am |
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concept was dope, like how you kept it short and sweet using all the words
only thing I see that I would change *and I do realize why you did it this way* is the overuse of the dictators/dictation/dictated ... in 2 lines that's alot of dic *pun intended* lol overall I like it
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Sammy
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Beacon of Light Joined: 24 October 2015 Status: Offline Points: 2223 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-1 Form: LNW |
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Posted: 15 February 2016 at 5:29pm |
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word, split, this was a serious verse man. It had a very strong battle vibe about it as each bar are Punchline-esque ha. overall, an enjoyable read and a nice addition to WD
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Mikey425
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Joined: 07 January 2016 Location: Evt-City Status: Offline Points: 227 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-3-1 Form: LLLNW |
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Posted: 16 February 2016 at 12:44am |
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Slip thats sicker then sick i really enjoyed the part below
"I send you to a gorgonzola refinery in the back of a rickshaw trap you in a do or die death maze and play a game like jigsaw" It really makes me think about what i need to do in order to improve. Way to Slip str8 from the chamber Bud. Respect. |
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Slip
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Joined: 04 June 2013 Location: St Johns. N.L. Status: Offline Points: 1612 Crew: Alter Egos Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 14-33-0 Form: LLLWLW |
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Posted: 16 February 2016 at 11:42pm |
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thanks for the feed ,i think this word drop things going to do good ,theres alota decent entries
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Absolute Abomination
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Joined: 15 May 2015 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 556 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-3-0 Form: LLWW |
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Posted: 17 February 2016 at 9:08am |
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This was really cool Slip
"bringing back dead dictators from there voices on the dictaphone punctuate the dictation they dictated directing subliminals into ya dome" would have been so much better if you just wrote "in ya dome" so there's no syllables between the multi |
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Show me a fortress and I'll show you a ruin.
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