Open Mic: [WD#1] Poem Power

This was real nice man, super smooth & similar to Rutter in how you integrated the words seamlessly into your verse. Not like anything stood out awkwardly, which is impressive. I was also impressed by how easy it seemed for you, like no point did you seem like it was a struggle...everything came together really well in this verse. I even liked that imagery of "rode their rickshaws into sunsets", think I just appreciated that you seemed to treat this as "how do I create images/lines of god quality" rather than "how do I make this awkward words prominent in my verse", that's really classy and I enjoyed that subtlety. The closer was also cool in how you sprinkled a bit of panache in there with the alliteration into assonance into rhyme, was super slick and a real nice way to close it. I enjoy enjoyed the simile at the start "linger like Gorgonzola on the fingers", similar to my earlier point but the subtlety with the technical combination, really impressive stuff without being in your face.

Really managed to get your style across here...which is testament to the quality, excellent work.