Open Mic: [WD#7] Hippie Chick |
Post Reply |
Author | |
Ridley Squat
Street Team Joined: 20 November 2015 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 830 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 9-6-0 Form: WWWWLW |
Post Options
Likes(0)
Posted: 23 December 2016 at 9:13pm |
Word Drop 7 was brought to you by the words: Relic, Depravity, Detonate, Mirage, Pulchritude, Whale, Placard, Onomatopoeia, Tourniquet and Sanguine They say that our methods are a relic from the damn past And that such depravity ain't welcome in their backyards 'bout to detonate the tear gas when I notice at the vanguard a mirage of such pulchritude ... I totally gotta bang hard! 'SAVE THE FUCKING WHALES' was the slogan on her placard So I sidled through, once I'd removed my labcoat and my lanyard She got that Boom! ... she was hotter than a thousand degrees And on-a-matter-peer related, she was outa my league Her name was Tawny Kay so I knew she'd wind up tight with me And my heart just sang-when she said she'd spend some time with me But reduced me to blubber when she left & said goodbye to me ...... will she ever get the irony? |
|
|
|
alicewonder
Standard Member Joined: 09 May 2015 Location: uk Status: Offline Points: 653 Crew: Kratos Kind Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-1-2 Form: WWLNN |
Post Options
Likes(0)
|
This was a quite entertaining read, which is always one of the highlights of your work.
I really enjoyed your rather creative approach on the given words, 'on-a-matter-peer' and 'Tawny Kay' being a the stand out examples here. I also though that the incorporation of the picture give this approach a very original tone, without being 'overly done'. I appreciate the rather straightforward, 'simple story' coupled with the very unconventional narrative. A quite humorous approach overall. Nice work.
|
|
-Que-
Standard Member Joined: 22 April 2010 Status: Offline Points: 2745 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 13-4-1 Form: WWWWLW |
Post Options
Likes(0)
|
Bro!! I was already entertained by the presentation alone lmaooo! "mirage of such pulchritude ... I totally gotta bang hard!" ^^That's that pimp shit bruh lol Aint gonna lie ...I had to google Lanyard. When I seen what is was I died laughin. Some shit my homie would say just to get fools thinkin lol. Anyhow this was very humorous and fun. interesting ways of using the WD words and just making it easy and entertaining. |
|
|
|
Crimson Juice
Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
Post Options
Likes(0)
|
Yeah i liked this,you did some nice flips on the key words here I thought,which came
off as creative really,also liked how you used the word tourniquet and onomatopoeie too,all done in your trademark style,(rhyme blended with humour),although this had a simple vibe to it it did nothing but enhance this piece really,as it kept this clean and clutter free so to speak,which in turn also aided the overall flow,and the fact you went for a story based piece also was a highlight in itself,as to do a story in 10 lines is no easy feat,so props there,an enjoyable and well thoughtout drop on the whole,nice read..peace. |
|
"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance". |
|
Crimson Juice
Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
Post Options
Likes(0)
|
Yeah i liked this,you did some nice flips on the key words here I thought,which came
off as creative really,also liked how you used the word tourniquet and onomatopoeie too,all done in your trademark style,(rhyme blended with humour),although this had a simple vibe to it it did nothing but enhance this piece really,as it kept this clean and clutter free so to speak,which in turn also aided the overall flow,and the fact you went for a story based piece also was a highlight in itself,as to do a story in 10 lines is no easy feat,so props there,an enjoyable and well thoughtout drop on the whole,nice read..peace. |
|
"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance". |
|
Post Reply | |
Tweet
|
Forum Jump | Forum Permissions You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot create polls in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum |
|