Forum LockedWicked WordSmiths: week 5 (spume)

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spume corrupt View Drop Down
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    Posted: 26 June 2011 at 10:56pm


Spume accumulates mo’ dough wit da stash a- pot- he- cary
got me an English flower, like mo’ rose, type ya gotta marry
marvel at this wordplay, pick up a pen- an- ce  that ya done! Spent
I’m an English man that’s mastered this shit, call me the pun- gent
I punch men clean off the demographic, demented an past disabled
kick ya fuckin bums all around town if  U- n- ass- ai- lable
I stay tenacious with the dissin make ya ear hole feel raped
Digging up dirt fa wat I need like an Aardvark, leaving ya 0- scill- ate

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Manc View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Manc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 June 2011 at 1:47am
Done in 8 lines. The first 2 bars were stupidly clever. Especially the penance/pungent bar.

This has gotta be a 10 from me.
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Kid Kane View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Kid Kane Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 June 2011 at 4:37am
yea nice way of dividing up those syllabuls to make a good play on words, maybe its cuz im young but some of them didnt make sense to me. Oh well still good short verse
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote spume corrupt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 June 2011 at 6:41am
Lol thanks 4 da feed Kane
But this is a game mate an not exactly how I write, we got certain rules to follow.               (Get involved it will do ya good)
People will feed an rate your performance an you will be obliged to return
Its Cuba' lil weekly word play number= Word drop
None the less good to see you feeding somethin

Ps if yo would like ta feed an OPEN MIC ov mine you will find one in da OPEN MIC section
Unsurprisingly
Cheers

Edited by spume corrupt - 27 June 2011 at 12:54pm

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spume corrupt View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote spume corrupt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 July 2011 at 5:10pm
Anything on this peeps

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote J504 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 July 2011 at 7:03pm
This was real nice right here, I like the way you worded alot of this especially- "pun-gent" and "pen-an-ce". I think a few words were a bit more of a stretch for what you were trying to do here, but this was still hella nice! = 9.5
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Cuba Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 July 2011 at 10:22am
Can't decide between a 9 and a 9.5...so 9.25, some of the wordplay was top quality, others were stretched...actually, I'm going to bump you up to a 9.5 for the approach to it.
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