Open Mic: Window and Rain

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Sammy View Drop Down
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    Posted: 09 May 2018 at 5:59pm


"Window and Rain"
By Sammy

whats insane is its raining in Mass again.
im in class bored as fuck. Professor Peters crafting a tangent on mass effect
lol not the game, but fact that trends can have its way with the Mass. Again... 
im bored, fuck him. 
Outside, the widening gap of crassness contends,
who's really here for class? And who's here just to fulfill a natural swing
graphed by societal standards. 
Me? i observe the passing trends. Their walk. Their swag. Their steps
play tag every so often
like "which one of them had it rough?"
"who's behind the bag in rent?"
a lanky blonde chick strolled by - 
in my mind's eyes, a crafty bitch. 
nuance can unveil some really nasty things.
take for example, the way she smiles in the placid wind
now she's either mad content, 
or this chick is already thinking five ahead...
still water runs the Atlantic trench
a Mariana of myriads waiting to grab what's left
if she is what i've assess,
big props to her - the process, i'm guessing - the plotting, the sketch
i'm sure there' much thoughts reflected beneath that abercrombie and "twitch..."
we all have a twitch. In psychology its referred to as a "pocket of lint"
i'm unclear on the analogy but... imagine a cloth that is wet...
fuck, Peters noticed i'm fuckin around so i'll end it at that lol


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Crimson Juice View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Crimson Juice Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 May 2018 at 7:11pm
I'll get to this shortly my man,probably Sunday as i'm not working..peace.
"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance".
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote alicewonder Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 June 2018 at 7:43pm
I’m not sure as to why this hasn’t got any feed yet, Sammy, sorry it took me a while to get to this as well.

I thoroughly enjoyed the rather direct, conversational type of approach you took here. I also liked how you transitioned within the initial scene you described. The langue and schemes felt very organic, which obviously made it more authentic. The poetic tone and accessible language was nicely balanced, not least because of the approach you took. The “Mariana of myriads” segment was one of the highlights of the unique turn of phrases you had here. Loved the “pocket of lint” reference as a call back to the mass (and different plays on the word itself) as well. The ending was nice, though it felt slightly abrupt but it was still fitting considering the glimpse of a scene and thoughts you displayed here. It was somewhat short, but still held a certain degree of reflection which I’m used to seeing in your work and which I am appreciate of. Thanks for sharing.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Lord Puente Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 June 2018 at 8:27pm
Now she's either mad content,
or this chick is already thinking five ahead

This was my fav thing, so I’m letting you know cuz that’s the thing to do.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Sammy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 June 2018 at 5:09pm
Originally posted by Lord Puente Lord Puente wrote:

Now she's either mad content,
or this chick is already thinking five ahead

This was my fav thing, so I’m letting you know cuz that’s the thing to do.

lol thanks, u lovable asshole, you!


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