Open Mic: Life Pollution |
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Tamfa 
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Joined: 09 July 2014 Status: Offline Points: 237 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 16-1-0 Form: WWWWWL |
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 Topic: Life PollutionPosted: 30 November 2014 at 11:21am |
 Shout out to Smokey the Bear, bear with me I'm smokin' it bare Chokin' is rare puffin' the herbs, rasta man I'm tokin' it yeah! Blows in the air, concrete jungle monkeys don't even care Sir Tarzan the jungle is poisoned, but kid won't even stare Like he aint even there, rumblin' the earth like the Truman 40's Consumin' on trees but Less seeds buried than human bodies The leaves fallin' with stems, you'd think that August tires It's like Gump with a Gun because all I see is Forrest fires It's Human desires, money flows in so they're likin' the task Wild life, Saw alotta tree barks but now they're bitin' the dust Bitches I don't trust, police hatin' me for plantin' some weed Fuckin' cunts, Industrial plants are the only plants we don't need We both smokin', I pollute my lungs 'n brain then I'm freed But they're smokin' toxins floatin' pollutin' the air we breath Indeed it's For cash to breed, then to the bank the enemy flees Tell me please, in a world of Lumberjacks where yall gon' plant yall family trees? The 7 seas wavin' goodbye, this is a fuckin' Global warning Up there God's incubatin' the earth, it's a fuckin' Global warming The omen is callin', Mother Nature these humans are killin' ya quick Then call ya daughter a bitch, but Father time will seal in the shit Problem is these things breed, 'n grow into startin' a hazard Seekin' that future feel, you can start by campin' in the desert Mother nature's like a leukemia patient, she's going bald From all this Cancer we're givin' her, her heart's growin' old Who's told to save her from this cold and holes dug into her soul? Her hair shrivels 'n folds into thin air then we dug into her coal We Burn it, emit it, choke her, admit it, we're passin' the limits Trashin' her minute by minute, I mean it's gasin' her Grimace those that inhabit this planet are kind of a menace like Denis The dentist on ya wisdom, brain is anus fuck how ya grin is! Drinkin' some Guinness spittin' my lyrics and ashin' my blunt Deforestation it comes, so sorry homie, I aint passin' the blunt! |
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daydizzle89
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Joined: 23 July 2014 Status: Offline Points: 3805 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LWWLLW |
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Posted: 30 November 2014 at 6:27pm |
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Woah,
Dude, sick wordplay, flow, vocabulary. The concept was fire as shit. Bravo
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Tamfa
Banned
Joined: 09 July 2014 Status: Offline Points: 237 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 16-1-0 Form: WWWWWL |
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Posted: 30 November 2014 at 7:23pm |
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Thanx for checking it out 'n feeding, Dizzle
Stay up Hombre |
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Concrete
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Joined: 02 September 2013 Location: Oslo Status: Offline Points: 1418 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 33-6-0 Form: WWWWWW |
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Posted: 30 November 2014 at 8:03pm |
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I'm digging the theme in this one, the plant analogy fits in nicely. I dunno if you're promoting straight up human extinction given the added picture or just dreaming of peeps smoking green on a green planet, little bit of both perhaps. Technically it's mostly on lock, you got some clever phrases spread out, like for instance "It's like Gump with a Gun because all I see is Forrest fires". Maybe the bars are a bit wordy given the length of the piece, but no biggie really. You also got that distinct style going and that is something the SYN appreciates, welcome to the team, you and Elite have proven to be great additions.
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Exoduzt
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NaCl Joined: 08 April 2006 Location: Long Island Status: Offline Points: 5331 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 41-7-5 Form: WWWWWW |
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Posted: 30 November 2014 at 8:40pm |
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WOW....This really caught my eye. The title and the picture to start. Then your verse was filled with some clever lines but for the majority it felt pretty abstract. Which is not a bad thing. It's a good thing and brings a freshness to the Om in a way. the Gump with a gun forest fires line was really fucking nice.
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Tamfa
Banned
Joined: 09 July 2014 Status: Offline Points: 237 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 16-1-0 Form: WWWWWL |
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Posted: 30 November 2014 at 9:44pm |
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Thanx for the feed Concrete, I appreciate it fam... And Exoduzt thanx too homie, well there was a power cut here so I just pen'd it down because of boredom... I'm glad you liked it man, stay up
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Nigma
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Joined: 25 March 2013 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 4077 Crew: Elision   |
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Posted: 02 December 2014 at 7:01am |
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Cool topic, first off. Felt like you did a very good job staying on topic all the way through. There were a couple references I didn't care for, the dennis the menace one at the end felt particularly forced and played, however aside from those this was a very consistent and entertaining piece. liked the way both the flow and content transitioned well from one section to the next. Solid shiznit broseph izzznitch
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Tamfa
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Joined: 09 July 2014 Status: Offline Points: 237 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 16-1-0 Form: WWWWWL |
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Posted: 02 December 2014 at 7:48am |
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Word up Nigma, thanx for the feed hombre
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