Open Mic: Dear Leonard (Parts 1 and 2) |
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hanGing
Veteran Not to be Fucked With. Joined: 28 October 2003 Status: Offline Points: 5008 Text Rank: #8 Stats: 30-10-6 Form: NNWLNL |
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Posted: 23 July 2013 at 12:02am |
So yeah - been tweaking some more of my concept pieces - this one's a happier piece. Based on the suicide note and subsequent drowning of Virginia Woolf - its more spoken word based as per (more traditional pieces will come)
There would be a part 3 from the husbands perspective - but he started fucking someone else quite soon after.. standard. Dear Leonard, (pt 1) There’s so much I could write in this letter – so much I could say. I know I can’t explain myself fully – but there’s no other way. But maybe there’s a certain something in my brain that I lacked It’s apt that my final moments are documented between the acts I think I’m going mad again – can’t face these terrible times All these voices in my head confirming that I’ll never be fine And I know I won’t recover this time. And I know I won’t recover this time. I hope you understand – I can’t keep veering between happy and sad please remember this – you have given me every moment of happiness. Even within and despite this disease – this madness. But I can’t fight any longer. If anyone could have saved me – I know it would have been you. From this day – everyone who looks at you will know it’s true But Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness So please understand I have to do this. Dear Leonard (Part 2) So I folded the note, and put down the pen. A sigh of relief? No need to pretend Just prepare for the final chapter Prepare for the end. I put on my coat, fill the pockets with stones Head down to the river, to spend my last hours alone. Step in to the water straight from the riverside No need to hide. No need to fight these currents Spent too much time fighting the tides of my mind. It’s just a matter of time before I’m taken now. My last moments at the bottom of the Ouse. |
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fuckoff
Newbie Joined: 10 April 2013 Location: fucksville Status: Offline Points: 3074 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 27-6-0 Form: WWWWWL |
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last stanza was nice as fuck. i enjoyed readin this
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DressToKill
Superior Member Joined: 27 June 2006 Location: Canada,New Brunswick Status: Offline Points: 6872 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 78-62-0 Form: LLWWWL |
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This was dope, loved this shit. Could picture it being sung, not rapped obviously. Good job Hang-man
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The original comeback kid
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IZIAH
Standard Member Joined: 31 August 2012 Location: alberta, Canada Status: Offline Points: 2041 Audio Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-3-1 Form: WLLWLN |
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pretty good man, yeah i thought this would be sung more than rapped. but still good content.
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-Que-
Standard Member Joined: 22 April 2010 Status: Offline Points: 2745 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 13-4-1 Form: WWWWLW |
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feeding from a phone..........spoken piece is tight.
I do feel a bit more tweeking isin order.Only in the momentum department. Other than that I love double ups .... the emotion andstrength is solid. Looking foward to the third. |
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hanGing
Veteran Not to be Fucked With. Joined: 28 October 2003 Status: Offline Points: 5008 Text Rank: #8 Stats: 30-10-6 Form: NNWLNL |
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I doubt I'll do a 3rd part.. I've got a few other concept pieces to work on and there's not enough material around to work off sadly.
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