Open Mic: self medicated |
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fuckoff
Newbie Joined: 10 April 2013 Location: fucksville Status: Offline Points: 3074 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 27-6-0 Form: WWWWWL |
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Posted: 03 March 2014 at 11:28am |
i wake up heavy headed, my eyes flicker.. i groan at the grainy flashes an roll out to the left with the force of a lone paraplegic geriatric stomachs doing backflips, i stumble out, fumble round, an down a black inhale deeply an release a king sized sigh, as i go down for a slash im already too late, an too fucked to do much, what times school start?? 9?.. have a laugh, im forced to snort a line for enough blood, just to move arse.. i start the fire in my nostrils.. the pasty drips sit like bile on my tonsils, im trying to tye her laces up, while shes trying to run into front rooms feeling a little clearer now, lunch packed, i look a little cagey at the school gates drop her off with a kiss an a whispered ' i love you, babe'... first shift an im already coming down from the columbian breakfast, im runnin empty im in for ten, so another lines feeling very tempting works hard, really hard, i get mad fucking stressful, guess depressed too, so i need the dutch courage to get through. i always take it neat, and chased with a coffee, strong enough to hide it, this works a treat, by midday, im still happy, man im still flying, even got it in me to take her to the park, and play with her fav' ball even find the minerals to run a bit n laugh, shes always gratful she knows ill always let her be the winner i have just enough time to kiss her goodbye, after i make her dinner.. back to work its harder now, my charge is half a bar no doubt, darkness descends my heart already aching, for the fam id see more, behind the bars of a pen time to restock the carcinogens friends, i lock the cubicle door take out the Es and drop my usual- four, adopt the chew an the gaunt but with a healthier outlook on another nights struggle the world becomes finite, my mind becomes a bubble trapped in the euphoric, nothing could burst this feeling and i remember its only a few hours, till im leaving.. by the time im back theyre all tucked up, im still fucked up an scarcely me i cant sleep, i could tap out ten verses, watch three films, an barely wink i kiss em all softly, an tuck my girl in to her quilt.. 'i love you' i tell her her content face raises my mood more than any pill will ever but for now the beers the help, my form melts into a mellow shell tho the chest pains are constant- it jumps at my ribs with a bellowed yell i can hear the blood pump from every vein an scream from every artery i smoke a half ounce of hardest leafs an try to envision the path for me but its hard to see, the doors are all but shut, out of options, mate im all but fucked. the doc told me to take one, but it doesnt quite cut it i swallow three, and soon the whole world becomes nothing repeat. X365 |
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Kiki Spirez
Superior Member Joined: 30 December 2008 Location: Chesterfield Status: Offline Points: 4374 Crew: Kratos Kind Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 68-26-0 Form: WWWWLW |
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This was fucking beautiful bro.
Stayed away from a lot of drug cliche's, and came at it in a fresh way. Main highlights was the first bar, the start of your first shift, and the ending. The first bar was one of the best pleasures in life, a bar that doesn't perfectly match all the sounds and multi's, but it still sounds dope. I loved the Columbian breakfast bar, like I said, fresh ways of going at it. And the ending was a good switch in style and rhyme structure, really put across the feeling of emptiness.
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Titu
Superior Member Joined: 04 July 2013 Location: 🔥 Hell 🔥 Status: Offline Points: 4522 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 47-19-0 Form: WWWWWW |
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I found it DOPE bro.
Opening was sick as fuck.. First part and shift 1 were really good. Very good concept and nicely executed verse. Flow was a bit tough to follow but i guess its just cuz of my language barrier. Other than that.. Dope piece. Props bro |
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Fuck That Fat smelly cunt Donald Trump, a racist asshole who is fucked in the head.
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fuckoff
Newbie Joined: 10 April 2013 Location: fucksville Status: Offline Points: 3074 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 27-6-0 Form: WWWWWL |
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appreciate the read + feed. saaaaafe
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fuckoff
Newbie Joined: 10 April 2013 Location: fucksville Status: Offline Points: 3074 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 27-6-0 Form: WWWWWL |
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bump
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Point Blank
Superior Member Joined: 20 May 2005 Status: Offline Points: 7234 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 92-27-5 Form: WWNWWN |
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Definitely one of the best topical heads on the site at the minute bro, this was sick. This had a proper grimy vibe like most of your topicals do given the chance. If I had to critique it I'd say that I lost the flow a couple of times in the first verse, couple of multies were off to me, but apart from that this was really well written. Funny how you're in your forte writing about taking drugs and being lazy lol, but that's just a coincidence right??
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fuckoff
Newbie Joined: 10 April 2013 Location: fucksville Status: Offline Points: 3074 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 27-6-0 Form: WWWWWL |
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Ha yea this more venting rather than being lyrical. Diary of a dickhead thing lol thnx for checking it out
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TecTonic
Groupie Joined: 26 February 2014 Location: ur chicks pants Status: Offline Points: 310 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-8-0 Form: LLLLLL |
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holy shit man this was damn dope this really helped me for wat can i put up for a topical battle
really awesome man D-O-P-E
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fuckoff
Newbie Joined: 10 April 2013 Location: fucksville Status: Offline Points: 3074 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 27-6-0 Form: WWWWWL |
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glad i could help lol
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