Open Mic: Delusions of grandeur

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Rutter knows best View Drop Down
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    Posted: 24 November 2014 at 7:11pm
Sounding mission out like phonics.....




Ya always lose, ya shits more watered down than homeopathic remedies
So say nothing raw, ya punchlines suck, so tactics "beat'em with melodies"
Stop all these wack drops, ya quantity over quality saturating L.A's economy
Empires got a jedi mind, but its HG that "sacrificed" you for the sake of the colony
Don't give a fuck about ya self belief, hit ya with the cannon like ya mariah,
If ya shit enough to get kicked out of hunger games, its a sign ya need to retire
Question Rutters rhyming? Fuck you! is the answer, L.A knows I'm a fucking diamond
When Empire put a tech to ya head, you'll lose your mind like Leo in shutter island
Tryin to hard to impress we ain't buying int the delusions you try sell
You got rejected by empire, I got invited while not even applying my self
That dumb shit ya talks not forgotten, arrogance has left ya ego Rotten
Think ya crew cold? Empire bring the heat to ya temples like an Eco problem
Mish the fucking expo king, no pedigree you just get chewed out Like denta sticks
And ya word plays not sick, if in the middle of ya bar you really had to mention it
Bring ya whole ten man clique, just a bunch of faggots who share ya drake infatuation
I'll dead mans quick lacking penmanship, Miami fans? that straight from ya imagination
Fucking amateur, claims "my fans from miami to canada" like its some true shit
After we consume ya crew, pick our teeth with ya arms that truly look like tooth pics
L.A don't care if there was a big black guy involved when you were abused kid
Ya droppin "nigga" left and right in ya work, but not earned the right to use it!

Body bagged by a head that does it for a hobby lad.

Reality check.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote daydizzle89 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 November 2014 at 7:22pm
Ya always lose, ya shits more watered down than homeopathic remedies
So say nothing raw, ya punchlines suck, so tactics "beat'em with melodies"
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The metas in this are crazy. This was a sick ass opener


Stop all these wack drops, ya quantity over quality saturating L.A's economy
Empires got a jedi mind, but its HG that "sacrificed" you for the sake of the colony
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Wow lol. sick shit

Don't give a fuck about ya self belief, hit ya with the cannon like ya mariah,

If ya shit enough to get kicked out of hunger games, its a sign ya need to retire
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Wordplay was slick

Question Rutters rhyming? Fuck you! is the answer, L.A knows I'm a fucking diamond

When Empire put a tech to ya head, you'll lose your mind like Leo in shutter island
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Dayum brah, the Shutter island reference was sick


Tryin to hard to impress we ain't buying int the delusions you try sell

You got rejected by empire, I got invited while not even applying my self
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
lol

That dumb shit ya talks not forgotten, arrogance has left ya ego Rotten
Think ya crew cold? Empire bring the heat to ya temples like an Eco problem
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Wow brothaman,


Mish the fucking expo king, no pedigree you just get chewed out Like denta sticks

And ya word plays not sick, if in the middle of ya bar you really had to mention it
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
lol liked the multis and internals in this bar flowed like pam



Bring ya whole ten man clique, just a bunch of faggots who share ya drake infatuation
I'll dead mans quick lacking penmanship, Miami fans? that straight from ya imagination
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This was sick

Fucking amateur, claims "my fans from miami to canada" like its some true shit

After we consume ya crew, pick our teeth with ya arms that truly look like tooth pics
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Damn, this was heat

L.A don't care if there was a big black guy involved when you were abused kid
Ya droppin "nigga" left and right in ya work, but not earned the right to use it!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
sizzles


Yo, the agression in this drop was hot brothaman. The metas used and wordplay were top notch shit. The opener set the vibe quickly. Your multis and internals helped this diss flow well. This was a pretty sick attack man. OUCH
Body bagged by a head that does it for a hobby lad.

Reality check.
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Rutter knows best View Drop Down
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Thanks dizz appreciate it.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Mission Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 November 2014 at 7:32pm
Nice job RKB. congratz on getting into empire btw. You threw some nice shots and had hella metaphors in this. A tall order for a comeback but ima put one together. nice job
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Exoduzt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 November 2014 at 7:42pm
RKB in all honesty I have over looked your work.  I admit I brushed ya off as a noob.  That was my mistake.  You seem very well rounded and talented as a writer.  Your opening 2 bars flowed on point and you had the added creative wordplay.  I was very impressed with that.  Then the Mariah cannon and retire bar was a nice follow up.  A very strong start.  Damn man your flow and how to word lines is really impressive.  The shutter island lose ya mind concept was a little too common but the flow is what made it standout.  That Eco problem line was fucking FIRE.  I loved the creativity in that.  damn then you had the drake infatuation and brought up the miami shit.  Personals my dude.  I am impressed man.  Good fucking work.  hahahaha at your last bar and especially ya closing line.  That flow is killer and to me....your a force to be reckoned with...

nice fucking drop rite here





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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Rutter knows best Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 November 2014 at 7:54pm
Cheers mish, appreciate it and good luck....

And Ex thanks, I am still pretty much a noob I'll even admit.
But I'm starting to recognise what makes a good bar good now.
So I can apply it to my own writing, hopefully I'll keep improving.

I penned this over a couple hours, just jotting an idea downand going back to it.
I normally take longer, strange how it worked out better this time.


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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Rutter knows best Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 November 2014 at 12:25am
uppin 1st and last time before it disappears. 

2nd bar was reference to this intro. Bit obscure.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_wG8VGMY-4


Edited by Rutter knows best - 29 November 2014 at 12:31am
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote IZIAH Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 November 2014 at 12:36am
this was a good piece man, liked the flow and scheme on this. keep it up. overall 4 stars.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Pompus Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 November 2014 at 9:08am
Yo some of the most solid couplets I've seen in awhile, direct and to the point, no real filler, you maintained control and it was evident, word usage, syllable count and word play, really nice piece
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote E.V.P. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 December 2014 at 10:58pm
Overall I must say this is well done.

You consistently punched with ferocity, I don't think Mission has any teeth left? haha

Would consider doing a OM with you sometime, keep at'r.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Rutter knows best Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 December 2014 at 11:02pm
Cheers dude, i enjoyed writing this piece. I don't do too many om's but who knows what the future holds. Peace
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote IZIAH Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 December 2014 at 7:57am
dope piece dude, keep it up, your flow was tight and overall u did good. i like your rhymes too.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote The Law Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 December 2014 at 12:45pm
Flow and multi's were nice and you had a bunch of decent concepts and nice plays. The one thing i can say that will help you out as far as the factor each of your lines is taken by the reader and how smooth it sounds while reading try to stay away from using too much similies and reword the bars differently.

Your definitely not the only one that does it and many people get caught tin that stink but at least when I am reading it, it begins to sound repetitive and not as strong when all the lines are "like this, like that".

Back on to the plus, you came aggressive. I thought from ego rotten/ECO line down was your better half. Had me rolling at the drake and miami bar. Maybe cause I'm always in miami idk. But this is this is def. the stuff i like to see from people. Keep the motivation and continue writing at higher and higher levels.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Shankley Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 December 2014 at 4:38pm
Nice drop Rutter, you def had some real nice lines in this. Personally I particularly liked the HG/sacraficed line i thought that was clever and the shutter island bar was good as well. Like Law said this is simile heavy which isn't necessarily a bad thing but can get repetitive when read out, try use them spread out so they don't look so overused. But a real solid drop here bro, you are elevating well and growing as a writer which is good to see like Exo when i first saw ya work i just thought "a n00b padding his record with some weak shit" but damn man have you proved me wrong you can swing with some of the best. I'd like to see ya battle some of the "more established" members and really test yaself. Good work man this is why you caught my eye for "The Members" drop keep up the good work.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Rutter knows best Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 December 2014 at 6:33pm
Thank for the feed law and shanks. I can identify with the feed back. Always nice to here the positives, but even more important to know what to work on. I'm slowly adding different technical aspects to my writing but i'm kinda flying blind still. Learning from my mistakes more than anything, but thanks again for the input.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Imm-edi-ate Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 December 2014 at 7:20pm
dope read man liked the flow throughout your verse the hunger games bar was 
nice. 

Tryin to hard to impress we ain't buying int the delusions you try sell
You got rejected by empire, I got invited while not even applying my self

the flow was sick in this part looking forward to hearing more of your om's.


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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Rutter knows best Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 December 2014 at 7:30pm
Appreciate it, enjoyed writin this piece. 
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Rutter knows best Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 December 2014 at 6:34pm
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