Open Mic: [OM King] Bermuda Triangle [CHAIN] |
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CHAIN
Standard Member Joined: 14 November 2006 Status: Offline Points: 2769 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 8-4-0 Form: LWWLWW |
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Posted: 06 January 2016 at 9:40pm |
... The globalists of old, the O.G utopians ... Edited by CHAIN - 06 January 2016 at 9:53pm |
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Rutter knows best
Senior Moderator Joined: 15 March 2014 Location: Manny hood Status: Offline Points: 4529 Crew: EMPIRE Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 44-12-0 Form: WWWWLW |
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I'll try give proper feed later but this was impressive,
Moby dick co exist ... That line Jesus. I'll be back |
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#bananas
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Crimson Juice
Site Moderator Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3258 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
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Shit,like where do I start,this was like a history
lesson and classic literature wrapped in a single verse,impressive,I ain't even gonna fuck with it,for 2 reasons,1 because I can't, and 2,I can't find anything to give you any criticism on,and I don't want to come across as a d/r,but that was bloody Descriptive ....enough said from me... |
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Zinaii
Standard Member Joined: 15 June 2013 Status: Offline Points: 2957 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 47-27-10 Form: WLNNNL |
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This was a really slick piece; a lot going on with this drop. Ill start with the story. It took me a couple of reads to capture everything, but the rhyming is damn near flawless throughout the piece but also carries a clever narrative with it as well. I enjoyed how you didnt even mention the word bermuda once, but rather used the vivid imagery in the verse to set the scene. I docked the others for not developing their stories and characters, but this is an exception as the imagery was so high level that in itself developed the story. Each bar weaves together smoothly; with a bunch of quotables some of my personal favorites:
Way before the cold created all the frozen cliffs And cavemen started rocking with the Stonehenge shit. Coded discs… were sent out to associates Copious amounts in the form of magnum opuses. Open source data that socialists & Romans bit Yoda-like quotes printed in the holy scripts. and Kings peeped game, Pharaohs made note of it The Mayans did too before the Greeks noticed it. The opposite of lies Columbus tried to troll us with Way beyond the walls of financial bonuses. Buddha knew it too and never glossed over it Just ask Jesus who the DNA donor is. that entire middle part was flames; you started strong and ended strong; not much to really critique this was a top tier OM easily. Good to see a vet step up and get something in. The bar has been set people lets keep it going chain Stay up bro!!! |
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Slip
Standard Member Joined: 04 June 2013 Location: St Johns. N.L. Status: Offline Points: 1612 Crew: Alter Egos Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 14-33-0 Form: LLLWLW |
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( incredible ) thats what this was could almost leave a person speechless i mean like some one is going to have to come up with somethin pretty damn good to top this if you were a history teacher kids be gettin stright A's people could learn a lesson really feelin the flow content is sick yoda-like quotes printed in the holy scripts. Kings peeped game, Pharaohs made note of it The Mayans did too before the Greeks noticed it. The opposite of lies Columbus tried to troll us with Way beyond the walls of financial bonuses. Buddha knew it too and never glossed over it Just ask Jesus who the DNA donor is. Eden is a garden where all of their ambrosias live A place where the Kracken and Moby Dick coexist. speaks for its self i agree with zin you never had to mention the topic you described the fuck out of it and that pac shit at the end was killer nothin but props |
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Trizzy Tre
Superior Member Joined: 28 March 2013 Status: Offline Points: 5101 Crew: EMPIRE Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 30-7-1 Form: WLWLWW |
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You. mother. fucker.
...this shit is bananas!! After I read the first line I wanted to punch my computer screen lol like bro you blacked out on this. Pure crack top to bottom. This piece all newbies should read. It should inspire them to up their game. Topical wise you push it to the max snd your originality is retarded. Your vocab and word usage maybe the top of LA. |
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Sammy
Site Moderator Beacon of Light Joined: 24 October 2015 Status: Offline Points: 2222 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-1 Form: LNW |
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yoooo!! LOVE the concept here. Well aside from the dope schemes and multies, i adore the fuck out of the idea. The out of box approach was highly appreciated. I love how you made the other side of the Bermuda to be something akin to a Shambala, a place of high consciousness, if you will. The reference of wise figures of history acknowledging it as is reinforced the theme perfectly. This was pretty sick, my dude. I think i know which rap to vote for, for this month's Open Mic King. Well done. well done.
Edited by Sammy - 07 January 2016 at 6:15am |
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Absolute Abomination
Standard Member Joined: 15 May 2015 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 556 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-3-0 Form: LLWW |
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GG.
That was really well done dude.
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Show me a fortress and I'll show you a ruin.
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The Rap Daemon
Standard Member Joined: 05 August 2015 Location: Purgatory Status: Offline Points: 1108 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-14-0 Form: LWLWWL |
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Alright it's pretty obvious who's probably going to be crowned the OM King.. For now, there's my props.. I'll give some feedback later as I have 2 performing arts auditions which start in less than 15 minutes..
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Faggot
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iLL ScriptureZ
Standard Member Joined: 13 May 2014 Location: NJ Status: Offline Points: 2477 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 11-5-1 Form: LWWLWW |
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Your ability is retarded... i hate you. 5 stars.
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daydizzle89
Superior Member Joined: 23 July 2014 Status: Offline Points: 3805 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LWWLLW |
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Its like he reads a dictionary everytime he wants to write a verse, prays to the gods of vocabulary and asks them for the wording needed. They come down from the heavens, drop off the words needed and shake his hands while telling him "your going to write this in the name of the vocabulary gods". He than heads back home and starts writing, suddenly another god comes down and says "put these motherfucking words in this motherfucking spot". He starts doing so and another god comes down that is the master of imagry, that motherfucker takes control of chains brain and says "No focus on the twinkie and you will write like a motherfucker". |
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Cuba
Senior Moderator Legendary Assassin Joined: 14 June 2004 Location: England Status: Offline Points: 12327 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 47-22-0 Form: WWWWLW |
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Man...when you dropped that one liner about the OM King in your other drop it had me intrigued about whether you were planning to get into this. Little surprised you did in the way as I didn't think it'd be your bag...
But dam, this was super impressive. One thing I always note about your drops is those real gritty references and observations. This still had the same signature Chain style in terms of the composition and fluidity but the way you married your references/imagery to the concept you were delivering was super impressive. I was so awed by the execution and that you managed to do it in your signature style that I was like, nah, that can't be totally on topic. So I went and checked the brief and came back and read it & was like, damn he was bang on point. Which I think shows you just how impressive your flow is that it captures you completely but at the same time that you write in a way that is layered that you can read it and just be taken away from the flow point of view and then go back and happily reread it to understand what you were getting at from a deeper level. That is ultimately next level shit and I have to commend you on that. I suppose the only criticism (& it's a pretty harsh one) is that your root concept is pretty simple...nothing wrong with that in a way, but I'd love to see you come at a drop from a different angle, say how Ill did from a conceptual POV, just to stretch yourself more than anything as this came off as so effortless. I assume it isn't & that's the rub, it takes a lot of concerted thought to be that good...at least I hope it does, or nobody else is getting a shot at this crown!!! |
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CHAIN
Standard Member Joined: 14 November 2006 Status: Offline Points: 2769 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 8-4-0 Form: LWWLWW |
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Shoutout to Rutter, Slip, Sammy, Crimson Juice, Zin, Trizz, Absolute Ab
The Rap Daemon, Daydizzle with the lol feed, Ill Scriptz and Cuba. @Cuba Writing the verse was easy. Editing the verse was the hardest part. This verse was probably the 12th version of the original rough draft It all started with this I had to Google Atlantis for additional information and all that. ...but I fucked up and was forced to edit it out. Edit : I just gave the other contestants a gem for free. lol |
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Hueyman
Groupie Joined: 22 January 2014 Location: no way Status: Offline Points: 148 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-6-1 Form: LLLLLL |
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I do not Hate on Sick reads , chain wrote a theory and a summary that proved it in simple words (complete dopeness) rhyming tech was Good gave the whole thing a feeling, however even though chain created a shadow balance of bemuda triangle he didnt dominate on it but no one ever does so I guess all will be judged on who does better!!!
the skill was inline the moses line (open seas) the enjoyment bringing all elements together sounded like having fun word Theres non much I can say but sick reads chain. #salute |
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The Law
Site Moderator God of the Minions Joined: 15 June 2013 Status: Offline Points: 5504 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 64-8-8 Form: LNWWWW |
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No need for me to go through and give your typical this and that was good. This was definitely worth the read and why you are considered one of the best. Will have to be a crazy ass OM to take this away from being the king IMO...
Straight skill right there.
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Storm $hadow
Groupie Joined: 25 July 2015 Location: Abuja Status: Offline Points: 329 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-4-0 Form: LLLL |
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Open source data that socialists & Romans bit
Yoda-like quotes printed in the holy scripts. Kings peeped game, Pharaohs made note of it The Mayans did too before the Greeks noticed it. The multis here came like fire Romans bit/ Holy scripts Note of it/ Noticed it There are many more of them and if i should start noting them, it will be a time wastage.. The imagery was truly captivating in the sense that it gives a vivid and clear picture... Your wordings were sick and the flow is not something to be left out either: smooth.. Good work!!! |
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Neek
Site Moderator Super Mario Slaughterer Joined: 05 October 2004 Status: Offline Points: 3862 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-1-0 Form: LWWW |
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well Chain.
somehow, some way.. you've managed to impress me again. I don't think it was the trip through history. I don't even think it was chronological order in which you placed such lesson. but to take a theory and turn it on its own head while spinning it in relation to something else entirely, was dope. so bravo sir, this was fine work. nothing seemed forced, and everything was smooth. start to finish. well done. |
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#Bananas
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Mission
Standard Member Joined: 13 September 2014 Location: Madison. MS Status: Offline Points: 2291 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 8-9-1 Form: LWLLLN |
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Im so done bro, you are insane. I read this while bumping a really dark wavy beat and like, this is epic. "just ask jesus who the DNA donor is". just stop man, too much heat for one piece.
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J.Bless
Newbie Joined: 10 January 2016 Status: Offline Points: 2 |
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well that was the firest piece i've read on LA so far. (i've only had an account for a few mins so dont get too hyped xD) na but forreal, this is super dope.. i was gonna post my own Bermuda verse but this got me second guessin everything i've written hahaha
edit: forgot to include more than just "this was dope" lol personally, i'm such a huge fan internal rhymes that just kind of keep eyes gliding through the text, viscously, til you hit the line with the final ending rhyme to complete the scheme. Also loved how you used the same rhyme scheme throughout the whole thing.. that's something not alot of people can do successfully (like, while making it sound good) and not alot of people even try doing it now because it tends to sound "corny"... well, this verse deff isn't any types of corny and it makes me alot less self-concious about writing and sharing my own single-scheme verses.... admirable and inspiring work, meng. This shits fire af, but i know you knew that as you scripted it Edited by J.Bless - 10 January 2016 at 3:57pm |
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-Que-
Standard Member Joined: 22 April 2010 Status: Offline Points: 2745 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 13-4-1 Form: WWWWLW |
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I love these OM King topicals! You really killed it Fonz. Shit was cold....lol i seen you mention the kracken and went dammmm. He went in
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