Open Mic: Obsession

This is my first real piece in a while. Had the idea in my head a long time ago, but only just recently put it to words. If I had the time/desire, I would make it better, but I'd rather just get it done.


You're an artist, your body's your paintbrush
Watching you work, one could see why you're my main crush
For the first time, I was hooked on those sites
They showed me a freaky girl who looked so nice
I would watch you everyday, I ignored the world
Nothing else to talk about so I bored my girl
Couldn't tell her that I have someone else in my fantasy
Intro to the videos got me ready as you danced for me
Thoughts pornographic. I sought more than magic
But I wouldn't have found you on the web if not for the traffic
... I'm not even into mexican chicks
But watching you on video has different effects than the pics
But the act that proved the attraction was fatal
Was when it broke my heart when I saw you do anal
I felt distraught, I was hoping to tweet you
Maybe someday meet you, now I gotta delete you
How could you let 5 dudes jizz on your face?
Hate what you did, the biz at it's base, it IS a disgrace
Like a slave on your knees you should've saved it for me
I was supposed to save you from this life as brave as can be
I crave what I need, but I need your warmth
Going down this path of sin will impede your reform
I wish I could snap out of it and forego madness
I can't believe I fell in love with a porno actress

ha, this was a very interesting read. I fucks with the tone. I think the idea of every rap topical has to be heavy isn't something i'm fond of. I rather like these light-hearted piece just as much and I hope we see more of it. As for the verse, at first i'm like yo this muthaphucka is a stalker, all in his feelings and being all intimate with someone he doesn't even know lol. I can get jiggy with it. salute.

King Jehu wrote: This is my first real piece in a while. Had the idea in my head a long time ago, but only just recently put it to words. If I had the time/desire, I would make it better, but I'd rather just get it done. You're an artist, your body's your paintbrush Watching you work, one could see why you're my main crush For the first time, I was hooked on those sites They showed me a freaky girl who looked so nice I would watch you everyday, I ignored the world Nothing else to talk about so I bored my girl Couldn't tell her that I have someone else in my fantasy Intro to the videos got me ready as you danced for me Thoughts pornographic. I sought more than magic But I wouldn't have found you on the web if not for the traffic ... I'm not even into mexican chicks But watching you on video has different effects than the pics But the act that proved the attraction was fatal Was when it broke my heart when I saw you do anal I felt distraught, I was hoping to tweet you Maybe someday meet you, now I gotta delete you How could you let 5 dudes jizz on your face? Hate what you did, the biz at it's base, it IS a disgrace Like a slave on your knees you should've saved it for me I was supposed to save you from this life as brave as can be I crave what I need, but I need your warmth Going down this path of sin will impede your reform I wish I could snap out of it and forego madness I can't believe I fell in love with a porno actress

King Jehu wrote: Cuba wrote: P.S. I rated it 3 stars on the basis that I thought it was a 4 star potential drop but (as you know yourself) you could've tightened it up in places and made it a bit more compelling. Haha, that's fair, Cuba. I wrote the line "it broke my heart when I saw you do anal" like 5 years ago and thought I could write a whole piece around it. I wrote the rest yesterday. Maybe that can be one of the ideas for future gauntlet challenges. Give someone a line and let them fill in the rest. Thanks for the welcome.

Good reads.

Yeah this was a decent drop on the whole,in your lines where you
say ignored,then the follow up bedfellow was bored,I bet you was
like phew,thankful for that word,not only kept the flow going,but
it's double purpose was a good alternative descriptive,it's then
when I got the scene you set for this verse,it was a nice pacey
piece,I've got to say though I didn't like it too much to be frank,
I do feel it was in parts basic,the subject matter was decent,and
flow was present also,but for me it just seemed a little flat,for
me it's like topics on gun play,yeah can be creative still,but you
get the feeling you've seen or heard it all before,but other than
that it was a decent read still...peace.