Open Mic: Mrs. Universe

This piece was very creative man,I do enjoy your work,and this
piece didn't disappoint,it was laiden with similies and plays,
it also had a good metaphorical theme,i do believe personally
your slept on as a writer here,the pieces you've wrote to date
have all been for me impressive from your blood and bondage
series up untill now,that's why when you was getting flak for
that,I had to add my 2 pence worth,you have the ability to
shock as well as to amaze with your pen game,which for me
shows your depth,and this piece also had a depth about it,
i could go on typing (nice blah blah and good blah blah)
but I won't here,as this piece stands up and speak for it's
self,great work friend a real Ripe read..

We come from the womb of a woman, comforting us for months
Shelters us with love, warming us with hugs
Soft to the touch like the feathers of a dove

see motherfucker. you can rhyme yo ass off and you dont gotta rhyme yo ass off to prove it. last line of this segment is real dope to me. loved this opening as a whole tho.


when the weather gets tough
She holds her young with palms like a leather glove
A mother embraces this creation with trust
A man doesn't relate with the guts to commit to this endeavor
To give birth to a child is a woman's ultimate adventure
A man can never hold the seeds of such subsequent pressure
She's much better embracing the supplements of this treasure

interesting take. man vs woman is a fascinating concept and why chromosomes ultimately decide so much from jumpstreet. is breeding womans ultimate goal? I know we as a human species used to live to 25 and breed by 13. is it nature or social reasons that modern woman has generally chosen career over child. does the human instrinctively know that we as a species are overpopulated at the moment? or has modern woman taken to self serving as a natural course of action? I wont pretend to know the answer, but figured the ultimate adventure line was a good debate topic. good shit bro.



You think men are creative? Women are better

Measure the magnitude of this universe and the big picture
Curvatures of earth and the birth of the big dipper
Our universes attitude is feminine and unruly
Nursed nd its structure is a mixture of grand beauty
We truly are designed by a creator that's mad and snooty
took her for granted, abusing her work with mass cruelty
The jewelry set in oceans and mountains made earth so colorful
Frozen tundra and the fountains arouse to a earth so wonderful
Gold woven skies, thunderous clouds and the aroma of roses
A mixed potion causing supernovas of focus


I liked this piece. it did feel a bit scattered if im honest. started about the universe and slowly drifted to earth. while I did like the creationist angle. maybe focus more on the why of the theory. why do you feel that the creator is mad and snooty, feminine and unruly. maybe a closer examination that slowly transitioned would have helped this shine a little more. but im no writing guru broham.


A woman's strength is overly potent

She erodes emotions with enough force of a thousand oceans
Clouding Mankind with ferocious sins
Her chains go unbroken, she will prevail regardless
We tarnish her harvest and douse it with hate nd hardship
She guarded us from harm since birth yet we target her praise with darkness
These days are as hard as it gets
She harness's enough light to shadow our pain with Pardons
Her hardship is keeping us from departing to a world that's godless
We doubt her with mistakes in a whirlwind of thoughtlessness
We promise to pray and she still forgives our faults of sin
She has the ultimate strength and the reason we have a consciousness

as someone enthralled with religion as you. I truly expected this to be the showcase segment. felt like a brief overview, and maybe thats the narrative you are painting - a quick overview and im expecting a vast exploration. but this also couldve used more a how and why variation and breakdown. what about the woman makes them explode and seek peace at the same time. its a very complex journey that youve chosen to embark on. why is she quick to lash out and equally in haste to forgive? this segment was geared more toward the "we" as "mankind" then the "her" thats the portrait.


With strength comes the power of peace and chaos of the solace

Shes no novice, her rawness to harvest power is awesome
The earth's a rose from the concrete of chaos that's blossomed
Shes the boss of this, Chaos begins when you forget to use a condom
Life's a bitch, Her power will often lead us into a coffin
Our thoughts lost when we cross that bridge we demolish
Its not her fault nor her problem, She wants trust nd promise
We only die as a solid, she has other jobs for us in her office
Were no prophets, She has the power to turn us into alcoholics
Enough might to test us with problems we cant accomplish
were just a microcosm of something much more colossal
Our brains are a splitting image of this universe of quantum


I really liked the trust and promise bit..not only as a rhymimg segment but a layered concept. real dope there. this was more to the same of the earlier religion tease. I feel I never got to the why. the why and the how are what makes the what fascinating. why is water wet? how did the bird learn to fly. you do that.. then you couple it with what makes the world spin and its a very complex never ending riddle thats massively open for debate and becomes a great talking point.


overall, I liked this piece. your words are becoming more and more precise and purposeful each piece you drop. that opening segment was really well crafted. you had some really dope gems in this such as women being more creative and the trust and promise. enjoyed the read thoroughly.

I really enjoyed your approach in this. A quite creative execution of a very intriguing concept, and I thought that you were pretty consistent in elaborating on the metaphor. The transition could've been smoother, as Neek already pointed out. It didn't really distract from the greater "meaning" here, though. Your opening segment was a highlight of this verse, both content and scheme wise. Nice work!