Topic ClosedHeat Wave: HW Text (Rd 2): Arthur v Rutter

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Direct Link To This Post Topic: HW Text (Rd 2): Arthur v Rutter
    Posted: 10 August 2015 at 9:18pm
Quarter Final: MARVELLOUS MAYHEM

Alias battle

Arthur = Iron Man
marvel.com/characters/29/iron_man
Rutter = Loki
http://marvel.com/characters/33/loki

16 lines max
Best of three votes from nominated JUDGES
Deadline = midnight, 23rd August

Edited by Cuba - 10 August 2015 at 9:56pm
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 August 2015 at 11:51pm
Before it starts we should Stop This, these Stark bars have this motherfucker Flop Kid,
Spittin Hot Shit, how can we believe that you're legit when we know you were Adopted?

Win is what I Must Do, suit strapped on if you're in my way I'll Punch Through
No respect for Chumps Dude, cause we all know when I See Lo' it's Fuck You! (Cee-Lo)

And I'll have no Sympathy, you can't match Ton', I bring the highest in History (tone)
You a Bitch To Me, fly in and put my Hands on Ki's like a fuckin' Piano Symphony (Keys)

Stark Collect Names, take ya brothers weapon and put the metal to ya chest and its not a Breast Plate
I Suppress Lames, be left with that Thor Axe below ya neck like an abdominal X-Ray (Thorax)

I Gleam Hot, this battle will be like narcotics being delivered the way we'll see Ki's Dropped
A God? He's Not, when its over the judges will witness Lo' Blows like wrestling Cheap Shots

Fuck Loki, this body armour will hit you so hard it's bound to make ya Bones Bleed
Ain't fucking with Tony, cause Stark will take ya head off like a Game of Thrones Scene

It's clear you a Sucker, you can't torment this superhero so you need to find Another
Eat this man for Supper, the world knows you only wearing Green cause ya jealous of ya Brother

For sure I'm Iller, these solar beams have you disappear in the night like Jack the Ripper
Ya shit is Filler, in terms of ya level? Shit, you'll always be behind Iron Bars like convicted Killers
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 August 2015 at 12:08am
Loki bars...
One punch to ya solar plexus could stop ya phony'heart,
So if you try to tes' or act? best know ya chances Tony...stark!
I'm a demigod with a deadly squad, this is my life, raw shit,
While its in my blood, you nothin without the suit like a law sig!
You ain't got super powers, don't give a fuck if you smart bitch
When all we see is your extremis is hittin everything but the target!
I'll have u opened up, heart screaming may day, beating,
Pouring out ya guts, ya head'll think its back in ya first AA meeting!
Variety the spice of life, n pepper kinda nice, that dime's a go getta 
I ain't the only mandarin to fuck with ya bitch, but we both some home wreckers!
I've traveled galaxy's to conquer, best believe, i came to own,
Bringing the drama, i'll leave a dead stark on screen, like its game of thrones!
The said "Doesn't play well with others" - every avenger testifies
You won't like hulk when he's angry...they cant stand tony at the best of times!
Hating cos i'm an alien! this fools too proud of his nation
Best way to stop him talking(?) skin tones.... n take race out the equation!

#bananas
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 September 2015 at 8:43pm
Before it starts we should Stop This, these Stark bars have this motherfucker Flop Kid,
Spittin Hot Shit, how can we believe that you're legit when we know you were Adopted?
-flop kid was weirdly worded, punch was nice those

Win is what I Must Do, suit strapped on if you're in my way I'll Punch Through
No respect for Chumps Dude, cause we all know when I See Lo' it's Fuck You! (Cee-Lo)
-wasnt feeling this too much. decent shot at the wordplay but didnt land as a shot to him

And I'll have no Sympathy, you can't match Ton', I bring the highest in History (tone)
You a Bitch To Me, fly in and put my Hands on Ki's like a fuckin' Piano Symphony (Keys)
-wordplay was better here but still was a jab at best

Stark Collect Names, take ya brothers weapon and put the metal to ya chest and its not a Breast Plate
I Suppress Lames, be left with that Thor Axe below ya neck like an abdominal X-Ray (Thorax)
-this was pretty dope. more personal and naturally worded. slightly long winded but solid

I Gleam Hot, this battle will be like narcotics being delivered the way we'll see Ki's Dropped
A God? He's Not, when its over the judges will witness Lo' Blows like wrestling Cheap Shots

Fuck Loki, this body armour will hit you so hard it's bound to make ya Bones Bleed
Ain't fucking with Tony, cause Stark will take ya head off like a Game of Thrones Scene
-yeee feeling this too. gettin more crisp with the wording

It's clear you a Sucker, you can't torment this superhero so you need to find Another
Eat this man for Supper, the world knows you only wearing Green cause ya jealous of ya Brother
-angle was alright but the punchline was poorly executed

For sure I'm Iller, these solar beams have you disappear in the night like Jack the Ripper
Ya shit is Filler, in terms of ya level? Shit, you'll always be behind Iron Bars like convicted Killers
-solid closer. first half of the punch coulda been reworded to greater effect but the punch was solid


Rutter
One punch to ya solar plexus could stop ya phony'heart,
So if you try to tes' or act? best know ya chances Tony...stark!
-simple and effective, solid opener

I'm a demigod with a deadly squad, this is my life, raw shit,
While its in my blood, you nothin without the suit like a law sig!
-haha shiit wording in this was flawless. was feeling how you incorporated a boast, an LA reference, and a punch at your opponent in those few words, really nice

You ain't got super powers, don't give a fuck if you smart bitch
When all we see is your extremis is hittin everything but the target!
- typos dampened this one for me, im assuming it shoulda read 'extremities hittin everything' but the punch was kinda soft regardless imo

I'll have u opened up, heart screaming may day, beating,
Pouring out ya guts, ya head'll think its back in ya first AA meeting!
- haha another nicely executed punch
Variety the spice of life, n pepper kinda nice, that dime's a go getta 
I ain't the only mandarin to fuck with ya bitch, but we both some home wreckers!
- this one went over my head tbh!
I've traveled galaxy's to conquer, best believe, i came to own,
Bringing the drama, i'll leave a dead stark on screen, like its game of thrones!
-both came with the GoT references, although Arthurs was better worded, yours had more factual basis
The said "Doesn't play well with others" - every avenger testifies
You won't like hulk when he's angry...they cant stand tony at the best of times!
- damn man, another solid punch landed
Hating cos i'm an alien! this fools too proud of his nation
Best way to stop him talking(?) skin tones.... n take race out the equation!
- this went over my head too :(

taking everything into consideration I feel both had their misses but Rutter had the bigger hits and the more choicely worded verse. His better punches came off more natural and he said more in fewer words

This was a fun one to read!

+1 Rutter
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 September 2015 at 10:08pm
Art
First up I gotta say this verse seemed over-contrived to me, it made some of the rhyming feel forced..
Opener: felt like you did not deliver on the adopted concept and the punch came out weak
Next: Was ok ish..but again I dont think its worked into a punch enuff to be a hit
Next: The link with tone and piano keys was a good idea but shortening his name to Ki's was a stretch
Next: I thought it was a Hammer that Thor used? either way it was a bit sketchy/stretchy at best
Next: Errr stretchy name plays its ok ish.... I guess its a two for one kind of deal at least
Next: Ok I guess....nothing standout so not really much too it

Next: Not feeling like this was done with enuff effect and the wording was a bit suspect/cheese
Closer: Predictable this one so should have been done better...................................

Rutter
I thought you kept this nice and tight with rhyming
Opener: This was ok ish....The nameplay as a bit predictable could have hit a bit harder
Next: This was worked in really well....its a good punch on Iron man and using the Law thing...Yes
Next: Not sure about this one....was kinda funny though.....Not a big hit though
Next: Not really worked into a punch properly so the contact is minimal
Next: Ok Kinda falls short as a punch here
Next: Done this a bit better than Art from what I can see........it was ok
Next: See what you was trying here but its borderline cheese imo.......not working
Closer: Wanted to see you close up better to round this up......Not feeling this


Was a scrappy messy battle here.........a lot of mad swings at nothing.....I guess the unusual brief was a lot to do with that, 
I felt that Rutter kept his shitt tighter and managed to land slightly more hits, he also had the best punch of the bout with his Law suit number
Vote Rutter

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 September 2015 at 2:14am
Iron Man... good but repetitive rhymescheme...  First couple of bars missed but then picked up with good wordplay and punches...

Loki... good opening few bars with direct punches...  Then punches trailed off until the "Game of Thrones" play which you both used...

Vote: Iron Man...

Adios...
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 September 2015 at 5:30am
Rutter advances
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