Heat Wave: HW Text (Rd 2): Arthur v Rutter |
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Cuba
Senior Moderator Legendary Assassin Joined: 14 June 2004 Location: England Status: Offline Points: 12327 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 47-22-0 Form: WWWWLW |
Topic: HW Text (Rd 2): Arthur v Rutter Posted: 10 August 2015 at 9:18pm |
Quarter Final: MARVELLOUS MAYHEM
Alias battle Arthur = Iron Man marvel.com/characters/29/iron_man Rutter = Loki http://marvel.com/characters/33/loki 16 lines max Best of three votes from nominated JUDGES Deadline = midnight, 23rd August Edited by Cuba - 10 August 2015 at 9:56pm |
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Arthur
Veteran Joined: 23 August 2013 Location: London Status: Offline Points: 2310 Text Rank: #5 Stats: 36-7-0 Form: WWWWLL |
Posted: 23 August 2015 at 11:51pm |
Before it starts we
should Stop This, these Stark bars have this motherfucker Flop Kid,
Spittin Hot Shit, how
can we believe that you're legit when we know you were Adopted?
Win is what I Must Do,
suit strapped on if you're in my way I'll Punch Through
No respect for Chumps
Dude, cause we all know when I See Lo' it's Fuck You! (Cee-Lo)
And I'll have no
Sympathy, you can't match Ton', I bring the highest in History (tone)
You a Bitch To Me, fly
in and put my Hands on Ki's like a fuckin' Piano Symphony (Keys)
Stark Collect Names,
take ya brothers weapon and put the metal to ya chest and its not a
Breast Plate
I Suppress Lames, be
left with that Thor Axe below ya neck like an abdominal X-Ray
(Thorax)
I Gleam Hot, this
battle will be like narcotics being delivered the way we'll see Ki's
Dropped
A God? He's Not, when
its over the judges will witness Lo' Blows like wrestling Cheap Shots
Fuck Loki, this body
armour will hit you so hard it's bound to make ya Bones Bleed
Ain't fucking with
Tony, cause Stark will take ya head off like a Game of Thrones Scene
It's clear you a
Sucker, you can't torment this superhero so you need to find Another
Eat this man for
Supper, the world knows you only wearing Green cause ya jealous of ya
Brother
For sure I'm Iller,
these solar beams have you disappear in the night like Jack the
Ripper
Ya shit is Filler, in
terms of ya level? Shit, you'll always be behind Iron Bars like
convicted Killers
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Rutter knows best
Senior Moderator Joined: 15 March 2014 Location: Manny hood Status: Offline Points: 4529 Crew: EMPIRE Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 44-12-0 Form: WWWWLW |
Posted: 24 August 2015 at 12:08am |
Loki bars...
One punch to ya solar plexus could stop ya phony'heart, So if you try to tes' or act? best know ya chances Tony...stark! I'm a demigod with a deadly squad, this is my life, raw shit, While its in my blood, you nothin without the suit like a law sig! You ain't got super powers, don't give a fuck if you smart bitch When all we see is your extremis is hittin everything but the target! I'll have u opened up, heart screaming may day, beating, Pouring out ya guts, ya head'll think its back in ya first AA meeting! Variety the spice of life, n pepper kinda nice, that dime's a go getta I ain't the only mandarin to fuck with ya bitch, but we both some home wreckers! I've traveled galaxy's to conquer, best believe, i came to own, Bringing the drama, i'll leave a dead stark on screen, like its game of thrones! The said "Doesn't play well with others" - every avenger testifies You won't like hulk when he's angry...they cant stand tony at the best of times! Hating cos i'm an alien! this fools too proud of his nation
Best way to stop him talking(?) skin tones.... n take race out the equation! |
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#bananas
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Nigma
Site Moderator Joined: 25 March 2013 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 4077 Crew: Elision |
Posted: 05 September 2015 at 8:43pm |
Before it starts we should Stop This, these Stark bars have this motherfucker Flop Kid,
Spittin Hot Shit, how can we believe that you're legit when we know you were Adopted? -flop kid was weirdly worded, punch was nice those Win is what I Must Do, suit strapped on if you're in my way I'll Punch Through No respect for Chumps Dude, cause we all know when I See Lo' it's Fuck You! (Cee-Lo) -wasnt feeling this too much. decent shot at the wordplay but didnt land as a shot to him And I'll have no Sympathy, you can't match Ton', I bring the highest in History (tone) You a Bitch To Me, fly in and put my Hands on Ki's like a fuckin' Piano Symphony (Keys) -wordplay was better here but still was a jab at best Stark Collect Names, take ya brothers weapon and put the metal to ya chest and its not a Breast Plate I Suppress Lames, be left with that Thor Axe below ya neck like an abdominal X-Ray (Thorax) -this was pretty dope. more personal and naturally worded. slightly long winded but solid I Gleam Hot, this battle will be like narcotics being delivered the way we'll see Ki's Dropped A God? He's Not, when its over the judges will witness Lo' Blows like wrestling Cheap Shots Fuck Loki, this body armour will hit you so hard it's bound to make ya Bones Bleed Ain't fucking with Tony, cause Stark will take ya head off like a Game of Thrones Scene -yeee feeling this too. gettin more crisp with the wording It's clear you a Sucker, you can't torment this superhero so you need to find Another Eat this man for Supper, the world knows you only wearing Green cause ya jealous of ya Brother -angle was alright but the punchline was poorly executed For sure I'm Iller, these solar beams have you disappear in the night like Jack the Ripper Ya shit is Filler, in terms of ya level? Shit, you'll always be behind Iron Bars like convicted Killers -solid closer. first half of the punch coulda been reworded to greater effect but the punch was solid Rutter
One punch to ya solar plexus could stop ya phony'heart, So if you try to tes' or act? best know ya chances Tony...stark! -simple and effective, solid opener I'm a demigod with a deadly squad, this is my life, raw shit, While its in my blood, you nothin without the suit like a law sig! -haha shiit wording in this was flawless. was feeling how you incorporated a boast, an LA reference, and a punch at your opponent in those few words, really nice You ain't got super powers, don't give a fuck if you smart bitch When all we see is your extremis is hittin everything but the target! - typos dampened this one for me, im assuming it shoulda read 'extremities hittin everything' but the punch was kinda soft regardless imo I'll have u opened up, heart screaming may day, beating, Pouring out ya guts, ya head'll think its back in ya first AA meeting! - haha another nicely executed punch Variety the spice of life, n pepper kinda nice, that dime's a go getta I ain't the only mandarin to fuck with ya bitch, but we both some home wreckers! - this one went over my head tbh! I've traveled galaxy's to conquer, best believe, i came to own, Bringing the drama, i'll leave a dead stark on screen, like its game of thrones! -both came with the GoT references, although Arthurs was better worded, yours had more factual basis The said "Doesn't play well with others" - every avenger testifies You won't like hulk when he's angry...they cant stand tony at the best of times! - damn man, another solid punch landed Hating cos i'm an alien! this fools too proud of his nation Best way to stop him talking(?) skin tones.... n take race out the equation! - this went over my head too :( taking everything into consideration I feel both had their misses but Rutter had the bigger hits and the more choicely worded verse. His better punches came off more natural and he said more in fewer words This was a fun one to read! +1 Rutter |
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spume corrupt
Superior Member Joined: 27 April 2011 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 3162 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-7-1 Form: WLWLLL |
Posted: 09 September 2015 at 10:08pm |
Art
First up I gotta say this verse seemed over-contrived to me, it made some of the rhyming feel forced.. Opener: felt like you did not deliver on the adopted concept and the punch came out weak Next: Was ok ish..but again I dont think its worked into a punch enuff to be a hit Next: The link with tone and piano keys was a good idea but shortening his name to Ki's was a stretch Next: I thought it was a Hammer that Thor used? either way it was a bit sketchy/stretchy at best Next: Errr stretchy name plays its ok ish.... I guess its a two for one kind of deal at least Next: Ok I guess....nothing standout so not really much too it Next: Not feeling like this was done with enuff effect and the wording was a bit suspect/cheese Closer: Predictable this one so should have been done better................................... Rutter I thought you kept this nice and tight with rhyming Opener: This was ok ish....The nameplay as a bit predictable could have hit a bit harder Next: This was worked in really well....its a good punch on Iron man and using the Law thing...Yes Next: Not sure about this one....was kinda funny though.....Not a big hit though Next: Not really worked into a punch properly so the contact is minimal Next: Ok Kinda falls short as a punch here Next: Done this a bit better than Art from what I can see........it was ok Next: See what you was trying here but its borderline cheese imo.......not working Closer: Wanted to see you close up better to round this up......Not feeling this Was a scrappy messy battle here.........a lot of mad swings at nothing.....I guess the unusual brief was a lot to do with that, I felt that Rutter kept his shitt tighter and managed to land slightly more hits, he also had the best punch of the bout with his Law suit number Vote Rutter
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Senor Perfecto
Veteran 1st Battle Winner! AM I 'ECK Joined: 18 October 2003 Location: Manchester Status: Offline Points: 3272 Crew: XFade: Phoenix Text Rank: #6 Stats: 66-36-2 Form: WLWLWL |
Posted: 13 September 2015 at 2:14am |
Iron Man... good but repetitive rhymescheme... First couple of bars missed but then picked up with good wordplay and punches... Loki... good opening few bars with direct punches... Then punches trailed off until the "Game of Thrones" play which you both used... Vote: Iron Man... Adios...
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Cuba
Senior Moderator Legendary Assassin Joined: 14 June 2004 Location: England Status: Offline Points: 12327 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 47-22-0 Form: WWWWLW |
Posted: 13 September 2015 at 5:30am |
Rutter advances
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