A Schizo’s Rebellion
Printed From: Lyrical Assault
Category: Archive Forums
Forum Name: Spit for Rank
Forum Description: Dont like bein a Novice? Wanna be a Professional? Spit a verse here
URL: http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14464
Printed Date: 27 March 2026 at 6:28am
Topic: A Schizo’s Rebellion
Posted By: Ibit
Subject: A Schizo’s Rebellion
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 9:51pm
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Smart, Was Such A Excellent Kid, With Dissipated Dexterity, Had Anticipated Disparity Buh Also Had Ghastly Judgments, About Vastly Subjects, Flowing Through His Mentality Because In The Reality, He’d See An Departed Physique, With Arm’s, Parted Unique And Edged To Mirth, Buh Pal’s He Never Pledged To Hurt, Had The Worst Father Dignitary, Buh Him?, At Time’s Was ‘Isolated From Humans’ Who Doomed Him, Called Himself The Stranger, While Other’s Was Muzzled Puzzled, How He Dreamed, Wicked Extract’s, exPlicit Abstracts, Woke Up He Felt So Altered, Bothered, His Body Feeling Eerie, Mind In A Sinful Temper, Winter Couldn’t Chill Him Down, He Was So Detached And Tough, Went Crazy In The Head Even Tried Snatching Gut’s, Once Was A Bright Kid, Now He’s Acting Up. All Friends Vanished Within A Flash Of Dust, Poof, Now Back At His Residence, Where He Was President He Was Sealed In His Room, Isolated From Others, Was Not The Type To Get Gutter When Fighting His Mother, But By Disliking His Brother, He Got To Knifing The Others Now, That Scene Was Wicked As Fuck, Physique’s On The Ground, Spilling It’s Gut’s Now This Killer Was Fucked, Not Knowing The Consequences, He Was Optimistic Waiting On ‘God’s, And Jesus‘, But Wasn’t Polytheistic, And He Never Stopped To Listen To The Astuteness, His Pop’s Was Dishing, Just Discounted It, What He Used To Counterfeit He Was Out Of It, It Was Time That He, Said Fuck It, Stopped Scampering, Halted
They Scattered, He Shouted, I’m Gonna Kill All Of You Bastard’s, Words They Shouted
His Mind They Was Tampering, But Couldn’t Rupture It, Grabbed The Slugger Quick
Got To Squirting It, Sad Part, He Hit Not A Person, Shit, Got Hysterical Within
Bolted His Organ Of Vision, They Was Just Ordered To Grill Him, They Shot Rapidly
At His Side And Spleen...Distorted And Killed Him
BreeZe-
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- Rather Be Judged By 12 Then Carried By 6 -
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Replies:
Posted By: DressToKill
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 9:59pm
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I aint a s4r judge..but your rhymescheme doesnt add up..you got a good vocab and have some potential to be good since you already have stucture down along with multies..but im not sure if you know here we usually go
__________A
__________A
__________B
__________B
Not saying you cant switch it but you need some kinda of a consistent rhymescheme so it actually rhymes......Anyways take my constructive critism if you like..
------------- The original comeback kid
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Posted By: kidd_crack
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 10:06pm
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dats wass a hella nice drop very creative
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Posted By: Ibit
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 10:08pm
DressToKill wrote:
I aint a s4r judge..but your rhymescheme doesnt add up..you got a good vocab and have some potential to be good since you already have stucture down along with multies..but im not sure if you know here we usually go
__________A
__________A
__________B
__________B
Not saying you cant switch it but you need some kinda of a consistent rhymescheme so it actually rhymes......Anyways take my constructive critism if you like.. |
Yeah Ill remember it in the long run. Buh some good poety once told me. That "You Gotta Different Style Bout You, You'll Say A Part, Stop At A Coma, It Stops The Flow, And Picks Back Up. And Seems To Be Working For You.". So thats Why i Do it how i do it. Buh Yes. Ill remember wuh you said.
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- Rather Be Judged By 12 Then Carried By 6 -
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Posted By: Fatal
Date Posted: 26 March 2008 at 10:59pm
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This was pretty hot man. You have a great grasp on flow and multies. Fix up ya structure like DTK said tho.
Rank: AMA
...1
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Posted By: NepentheZ
Date Posted: 27 March 2008 at 4:30pm
He didn't actually bite :/ wrote:
"You Gotta Different Style Bout You, You'll Say A Part, Stop At A
Coma, It Stops The Flow, And Picks Back Up. And Seems To Be Working For
You. |
Couldn't agree more, to be honest. Thought the piece was nice. Lacked any real creativity, but the vocab is apparent, and the style is your own, very unique, and does actually work. (for you, at least). I don't quite think you're Pro, but you're definitely not Nov. If you could structure some of your verses for the sake of sanity on the site, I would do so, (also, you would get more kudos for being versatile) just to show people that you can construct something decent that they could apply themselves too. Other than that, keep doing ya thing.
Rank : AMA
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I'm so fucking intelligent, half the time I don't even know what I'm saying...
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Posted By: Ibit
Date Posted: 27 March 2008 at 5:12pm
NepentheZ wrote:
He didn't actually bite :/ wrote:
"You Gotta Different Style Bout You, You'll Say A Part, Stop At A Coma, It Stops The Flow, And Picks Back Up. And Seems To Be Working For You. |
Couldn't agree more, to be honest. Thought the piece was nice. Lacked any real creativity, but the vocab is apparent, and the style is your own, very unique, and does actually work. (for you, at least). I don't quite think you're Pro, but you're definitely not Nov. If you could structure some of your verses for the sake of sanity on the site, I would do so, (also, you would get more kudos for being versatile) just to show people that you can construct something decent that they could apply themselves too. Other than that, keep doing ya thing.
Rank : AMA
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Question. What is this about?. "He didn't actually bite :/"
I see wuh you saying. About the Versatile and Structure.
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- Rather Be Judged By 12 Then Carried By 6 -
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Posted By: NepentheZ
Date Posted: 27 March 2008 at 6:00pm
Its just a joke with the quote tags.
Ibit wrote:
hello |
So I just put
He didn't actually bite :/ wrote:
hello |
just a bit of a flip on your name in the tags, nothin major, and it wasn't intended as a diss either.
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I'm so fucking intelligent, half the time I don't even know what I'm saying...
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Posted By: Ibit
Date Posted: 30 March 2008 at 6:23pm
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Upping For More Feed.
BreeZe-
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- Rather Be Judged By 12 Then Carried By 6 -
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Posted By: SageOne
Date Posted: 30 March 2008 at 7:43pm
Posted By: Ibit
Date Posted: 30 March 2008 at 7:53pm
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Wuddup.
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- Rather Be Judged By 12 Then Carried By 6 -
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Posted By: SageOne
Date Posted: 30 March 2008 at 7:55pm
Posted By: Ibit
Date Posted: 30 March 2008 at 8:00pm
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Yes. Why you ask?. While your in here can you leave feed?.
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- Rather Be Judged By 12 Then Carried By 6 -
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Posted By: SageOne
Date Posted: 30 March 2008 at 8:04pm
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Because I've seen your spit for rank "elsewhere".
I'm not going to feed this because
A)This must be your jewel of sorts..I doubt you can do things like this consistantly, because if you could...you would have just written up a new one...and not carried this one over from another site...so why base your rank on the best thing you've done? I dont believe in that type of thing.
B) I dont think you want to know what I think of your piece here. So...scotty always said, if you can't say anything nice...dont say anything at all hehe.
Peace.
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Posted By: Ibit
Date Posted: 30 March 2008 at 8:13pm
SageOne wrote:
Because I've seen your spit for rank "elsewhere".
I'm not going to feed this because
A)This must be your jewel of sorts..I doubt you can do things like this consistantly, because if you could...you would have just written up a new one...and not carried this one over from another site...so why base your rank on the best thing you've done? I dont believe in that type of thing.
B) I dont think you want to know what I think of your piece here. So...scotty always said, if you can't say anything nice...dont say anything at all hehe.
Peace. |
Lol Tisk.
1). Yes i droped this Topical Elsewhere. I like to get feed. From different kinds or people. On different kinds of Sites. And if Droping this piece more then once. Makes you feel Ireful inside. Then hey keep feeling that way. Because i like getting feed. Yes this is ONE of My Good Topicals. When i reach the limit. Of getting feed on this Piece ill post My newer One's.
2). Feed is Feed. Any Feed is good. No mater if its Good or Bad. So Its not "I dont think you want to know what i think of your piece here". Your feed might make Me drop a Muc better piece. Buh do what you gotta do.
BreeZe.-
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- Rather Be Judged By 12 Then Carried By 6 -
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Posted By: Ibit
Date Posted: 30 March 2008 at 8:15pm
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Uppin For Feed.
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- Rather Be Judged By 12 Then Carried By 6 -
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Posted By: Fatal
Date Posted: 31 March 2008 at 8:13pm
This isnt the place for feed. If you want feed, post this in the Open Mic section.
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Posted By: G-Pfeif
Date Posted: 01 April 2008 at 8:05pm
i agree with many of the thoughts posted in here...
i do appreciate your unique style.. but i wish you would also use end
rhyme (rhyming words at the ends of lines) AS WELL AS internal
rhymes... not just the later... Having internal rhymes can
make your piece that much better... but not if you dont use ANY end
rhyme... then it kinda becomes free verse... and thats boring and kind
of a cop out in my opinion.
and i agree with sage... dont just go around posting old shit all the
time... drop some new stuff, prove to yourself (not just us) that you
are elevating..
rank = AMA
------------- <img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v313/G-Pfeif/SuckaMCTo-DoList.png" />
"I'll put a Loss to ya name like a Mexican City"
"Ill Put an L to ya EGO like them building blocks"
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Posted By: Ibit
Date Posted: 01 April 2008 at 11:10pm
G-Pfeif wrote:
i agree with many of the thoughts posted in here...
i do appreciate your unique style.. but i wish you would also use end rhyme (rhyming words at the ends of lines) AS WELL AS internal rhymes... not just the later... Having internal rhymes can make your piece that much better... but not if you dont use ANY end rhyme... then it kinda becomes free verse... and thats boring and kind of a cop out in my opinion.
and i agree with sage... dont just go around posting old shit all the time... drop some new stuff, prove to yourself (not just us) that you are elevating..
rank = AMA
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Really?. Forreal. I Can careless ab out this whole post right here. So you can just stop wishing dawg. Because my unique style is not going to change, Because my topicals dont fit in these lil ass post boxes yall got for this site. I Type my shit on microsoft. Then past it here. And post it. Im not about to break my lines up. just to make you and who ever else that dont like how my structure. Feel good. Iight homie?. I've got much better feed from much better people on this drop. So ill wait till i get much better feed then the last feed. Then ill drop my new shit/ I already proved to myself. That i've elevated. Just havent proved it to ya'll. And im not going to. till i feel like it. Buh Bye Now
BreeZe-
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- Rather Be Judged By 12 Then Carried By 6 -
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Posted By: G-Pfeif
Date Posted: 02 April 2008 at 12:14am
1. this is a Spit for Rank section... I am a spit for rank judge... therefor, what i say goes... if you want feed... drop this in the open mic section... you dropped it here, so you get a rank we feel you deserve...
2. stop thinkin that you are doin somethin so unique and different... YOURE WRITING FREE VERSE WITH A FEW INTERNAL RHYMES!!! that shit aint hard to do cousin... what IS hard to do is using multi's and end-rhyme, WHILE using internal rhyme, enjambment, etc. to make your verse even more complex with flow and shit (those are literary terms, so if you dont understand.. educate urself).
so lose the ego... and take some advice from people who know what the fuck they are talkin about...
funny thing is.. i just told you what your style is... and you didnt understand it.. i guess you hear big words and assume disrespect... sorry
------------- <img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v313/G-Pfeif/SuckaMCTo-DoList.png" />
"I'll put a Loss to ya name like a Mexican City"
"Ill Put an L to ya EGO like them building blocks"
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Posted By: SageOne
Date Posted: 02 April 2008 at 1:26am
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"i guess you hear big words and assume disrespect"
lmfao
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Posted By: direct1
Date Posted: 02 April 2008 at 10:31am
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i'd like to hear it as an audio its got potential just that i may read it a different way to you say it so it'd be cool to hear what its meant to sound like nice vocab though!
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Posted By: Ibit
Date Posted: 02 April 2008 at 11:02am
SageOne wrote:
"i guess you hear big words and assume disrespect"
lmfao |
Your lame.
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- Rather Be Judged By 12 Then Carried By 6 -
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Posted By: Ibit
Date Posted: 02 April 2008 at 11:07am
G-Pfeif wrote:
1. this is a Spit for Rank section... I am a spit for rank judge... therefor, what i say goes... if you want feed... drop this in the open mic section... you dropped it here, so you get a rank we feel you deserve...
2. stop thinkin that you are doin somethin so unique and different... YOURE WRITING FREE VERSE WITH A FEW INTERNAL RHYMES!!! that shit aint hard to do cousin... what IS hard to do is using multi's and end-rhyme, WHILE using internal rhyme, enjambment, etc. to make your verse even more complex with flow and shit (those are literary terms, so if you dont understand.. educate urself).
so lose the ego... and take some advice from people who know what the fuck they are talkin about...
funny thing is.. i just told you what your style is... and you didnt understand it.. i guess you hear big words and assume disrespect... sorry
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Lol Tisk
a) what IS hard to do is using multi's and end-rhyme, WHILE using internal rhyme, enjambment, etc. to make your verse even more complex with flow and shit
Its hard for you to do. You've only seen 2 of my topical drops and these are old pieces.
its nice to see you get all worked up over the internet. very funny. I knew wuh my styles was before you ever said anything about it homie. Who the fuck you think u are?. Lol Shits funny. Post some of your shit. And please. I hope its not going to be disappointing.
I can give a shit what judge you are. seriously. I dont rap for a liveing. I play football. So all this site battling shit?. is just for fun. So i really can careless about all this shit. I just drop. And say wuh i feel. And when i see people getting heated. I Laugh.
Like Now. Buh Bye now.
BreeZe-
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- Rather Be Judged By 12 Then Carried By 6 -
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Posted By: Ibit
Date Posted: 02 April 2008 at 11:14am
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I read your stuff. And if you posted it on a different site. i doubt it would make pro. Your 21 im 15. And You think you know more?. or wuh?. Wuh do u think?. My sturcture is fucke dup on my pc. Buh on this school pc. My shit is just fine. So idk see why ou buggin?. lol Buh i really dont care.
You got anything else to say?. Please say it. or dont. Buh if you dont. Make it something that want make me laugh. Please dont. Becaus eif you do. Im not going to respone. 
BreeZe-
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- Rather Be Judged By 12 Then Carried By 6 -
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Posted By: Fatal
Date Posted: 02 April 2008 at 5:54pm
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Dude, whats your problem?
This is spit for rank. You drop a verse and we critique it so that you know what to look for. I dont see why your getting heated over critique. And dont say that GP is the one talkin shit, cuz all i see are your replys. Jus be cool and drop something more recent next month. Nuff said.
...1
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Posted By: G-Pfeif
Date Posted: 02 April 2008 at 6:21pm
lmao @ ''i don't rap for a living ... i play football.''
dude ur 15... u dont do shit 'for a living' lol
and neither do i...i play college football and am educated... so take some advice from someone who knows what the fuck he is talkin about ... and lose the ego
------------- <img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v313/G-Pfeif/SuckaMCTo-DoList.png" />
"I'll put a Loss to ya name like a Mexican City"
"Ill Put an L to ya EGO like them building blocks"
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