Round 1 - Battle 1 : Votes
Printed From: Lyrical Assault
Category: Tournament Boards
Forum Name: Topical Tyranny
Forum Description: Topical Tournament by Point Blank - Winner: KayB
URL: http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14648
Printed Date: 27 March 2026 at 2:16am
Topic: Round 1 - Battle 1 : Votes
Posted By: Point Blank
Subject: Round 1 - Battle 1 : Votes
Date Posted: 08 April 2008 at 10:53am
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Please vote for your 2 favourite verses from http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14550" rel="nofollow - this battle Voting will end on the Monday 14th April The 2 verses with the most votes will advance. Please don't fuck around with the poll, and only explained votes will count |
Replies:
Posted By: sparta
Date Posted: 08 April 2008 at 11:22am
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Right.... 4 good verses...verse 1 wa sokay, but the story didnt flow as much as I'd have liked and wasnt up to the others lyrically...the fingerprint of often mismatched multies leaves me in little doubt as to who wrote it...a good verse in itself, but it was against a strong field 2...mismatched rhyme to start off with...flowed well, good story...night in the cell was good...overall, pretty solid verse, no major stylistic issues...3...started great, really good opening bar...all of it flowed and rhymed well, seemed to capture the mindset of the drunk better than the others...my favourite verse out of the 4...verse 4, excellent flow and rhyming, although the mutlies got a bit crowded towards the end....closer was excellent, and the content was very good too...my 2nd favourite Good battle verses 3 and 4 gmv ------------- |
Posted By: Kay B
Date Posted: 08 April 2008 at 5:47pm
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Pretty dope battle, four good verse's, Verse 1 was nice but as sparta said story seemed to go back and forth and not really make complete sense just didn't flow well imo and lyrically wasn't anything amazing and come up against three other nice verse's Verse 2 was a nice story flowed well, started off mismatched with messed with the flow, some nice standout lines, and nice twist in the end, overall a decent verse not many flaws Verse 3 real nice verse, dope start caught my eye straight from the word go, flow was dope and content was real nice, depicted an alcoholic almost perfectly imo, and got into his/her mind brilliantly, great description really nice verse best of the four imo. Verse 4 again was a nice verse flow was inch perfect and rhyming rolled off the tongue a few standout lines but as sparta pointed out the closer was dope, general verse was dope had me wanting to read on. Three dope verse's outta the four imo With 3 being the best and 2 and 4 fighting it out for the second vote. Though 3 was a real tight verse and the story was good i felt i enjoyed reading verse 4 more and it just had me gripped, shame for verse 3 to lose out (if it does) cause it was nice though i have to go for verse 4 My vote - Verse 3 & Verse 4 -------------  |
Posted By: dalinquent
Date Posted: 08 April 2008 at 6:56pm
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Verse 1 Decent verse, Flow was very shaky to me tho, bunch of mismatch'd multi's made some lines terrible to read, At other times you'd have a line that was either far too short or far too long... Story was cool tho, didn't really flow well, was very choppy imo. Another thing was there wasn't any real emotion, I know you tried to use story elements to spark emotions in the reader but your not very good at it Overall, just a decent verse ------------------------------------------------------------- Verse 2 Good Verse, Flow was much better than the first verse imo...Still not perfect, First 4 lines were nearly genius, but feel off fast after that, Multi's because forced and unnatural, which made me stop enjoying the read Story was again cool, Flow of ideas was cool... Felt better wording could have made it much better flow wise tho... Honestly, I was really expecting a lot more emotion when it came to the alcohol topic but no one seems to bring it... Twist at the end was decent, Kinda didn't like how ya highlighted those words to show the twist tho... Key to a genius twist is to have the reader like wow or in awe, And yours didn't achieve that... Twist just gotta sorta come with the verse Overall, Good enough verse, some flaws, some weaknesses ------------------------------------------------------------- Verse 3 Nicest verse so far, far as flow is concern'd, Multi's were consistently on point which made reading it really easy and I breeze'd through it with ease, Props to you for that... I will say, sometimes I felt the words were force'd to make the multi and the lines lost a bit of meaning a few times, nothing to bad tho Story was nice in there... Immediately after reading it, I thought to myself, I could see a alcoholic thinking/doing alot of this... Really capture'd an alcoholic perspective in my opinion...No real twist to the story, just a nice plot... Like'd how the alcoholism drove everything u care'd about away, which eventually lead to your suicide...Good job. On a side note, this could have been an equally good topical about suicide, which says alot about ur writing Overall, Pretty nice verse, Lyrically and Topically ------------------------------------------------------------- Fuckin dope verse, Wonder who wrote it? hmmmm, lol... Lyrically was the best of the group...Multis and flow were near flawless... Help'd progress the story alot... Nothing else to say about it lyrically Story wise, It was very nice... Felt that you finally got that emotion I've been waiting for across, which made ur verse even doper to me cause I really wanted that emotion... Like'd the ending as well, Closer was fucking dope...As was everything else Overall, Dope verse yo.... ------------------------------------------------------------- I felt this battle was pretty cool overall, there definitely weren't any weak verses, But I felt two of em were just on another level and thus are my picks...I felt while verse 1 and 2 were good, verse 3 and 4 were superb, with 4 being my favorite by a slight margin...Those verses were just better lyrically and story-wise and so 3 and 4 are my picks ------------- 
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Posted By: SpellBound
Date Posted: 08 April 2008 at 9:40pm
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Verse 1 An average read, story wasn't as good as I'd have hoped, but it was far from terrible. Flow was okay, and from a lyrical stand point it was decent. Lacked creativity in places, kind of predictable from the beginning. Needed to step it up a bit more cuz you were definitely in a strong group. Verse 2 This was nice, story was on point and the ending wasn't what I'd have expected. Flow got a bit choppy in the middle for me, but other than that it was great. First half of your verse was strong, but near the end it wasn't as involved as I'd have liked. Good verse none the less Verse 3 Dope read, grasped the topic well and it was really enjoyable. Only thing I didn't like was the ending, just felt it was kind of unoriginal, but other than that it was great. Flow was nice, didn't have a problem there. Multis were nice, and didn't seem forced. Overall a great read Verse 4 In my opinion the best verse of the group, the flow was incredible with relevant multis. I liked the emotion I felt when reading this, made the verse seem more realistic. Nice imagery and I liked how you wrote from the witness point of view, rather than actually being the alcoholic. Dope read Vote goes to verses 3 and 4, both of em held it down with their verses. |
Posted By: SageOne
Date Posted: 09 April 2008 at 5:42am
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Verse 1 Wasn't too great...not bad but it lacked a...a solidarity if you will...there was no solid flow...no solid story...nothing really too concrete about it..and that's what to look for in a topical...a concrete concept with on-point lines...and I'm afraid verse 1 was simply lacking that.
Verse 2
Verse 2 was decent, better than the first...but still not exactly a good verse...it was told partially well and the flow was....alright....but I mean, it's not exactly that great of a verse...not enough for my vote anyway. Not too shabby though.
Verse 3
Fairly well told story...nice flow and nice way of staying on point..I enjoyed this one because it was simple and to the point...without straying from the topic...one vote.
Verse 4
Was a "dawg" of a verse. WEll written, flowed extremely well...little similar to the previous verse...none the less...a pretty gripping topical...enjoyed it well and the closer was deep. One vote.
Vote:
3 & 4
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Posted By: Fatal
Date Posted: 12 April 2008 at 7:40pm
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All verses were good, but i liked the storys in 1 & 4...it was a toss up between 1 and 3 as 3 had the lyrically better verse, but i liked the story in 1 better. Vote: 1 and 4-------------  |
Posted By: Point Blank
Date Posted: 14 April 2008 at 2:26pm
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Props voters Verse 1 - DressToKill is out Verse 2 - McWoods is out Verse 3 - Calibra advances Verse 4 - Freeda5thDawg advances |