A Thought
Printed From: Lyrical Assault
Category: Emcee Lounge
Forum Name: Open Mic
Forum Description: This isnt a Battle Board, this is for your Freestyle Verses to be Rated by other members.
URL: http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15308
Printed Date: 27 March 2026 at 2:16am
Topic: A Thought
Posted By: Freeda5thDawg
Subject: A Thought
Date Posted: 06 June 2008 at 12:32am
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Here comes a breath of fresh air with the scent that death’s here- - As I step and get near this wretched mess of set fear- - I was blessed to press peers through the depths of swept prayers... That were left with wept tears drenched and wet the next year- - Now I rest the stress clear with the strength and less beer- - Was depressed to then hear he was sentenced ten years- - Why do lessons end weird - Usually to put me deep... Right through between a soothing beat and bullets pleading “shoot me please”- - Thought I WAS a stupid teen - Nothing’s new it seems- - Still putting scenes of ruthless beatings since I drew with ink- - Glued to these conclusive means - Of taking someone’s life- - Or raping someone’s wife - Though it made me someone’s might- - Still awaking under night - Kneel and pray for summer light- - Till I’m taken up to play - Will I break and run or fight?- - Fill his brain or punch his sight? - Kill this pain? The gun is right- - Tilt the blade and plunge the knife - Peel the vein and blood ignites- - Feel the strain and fuck the fright - Seal the page as one’ll write... Healin’ rain the tongue recites - Spills the hate and love for life- - Still evade from what is right - I’m the dying rebel- - At a rhyming level that’s been flying through defying revels- - Trying to revive this hell of life from lying devils- - Complying mental science, help the crying settle- - Silence metal-type appliances till violence is at peace- - Signing this design of scripts and rhymes defining us as free- - Instant vibrance when I speak - Piston heightens in the speed- - Fists beside the lips and tie the spit with fire mixed degrees- Gifts acquired and inquired as a choir when it sings- - It’s the sire mixed-messiah lit the pyres in the sheets- - Pistol-riot twist and binded with the iris fit in snipers... Drippin’ viper-liquids biting blissful tyrants in this piece- - Please...I’ve been through the worst....- - ....Sin through this verse cause I’m Him in reverse- - ...now... I was nimble and cursed...from the insults that hurt- - Till I swindled some herbs...with the impulse that burns- - Now I limp over words...slurring facts, erasing pain- - Burning tracks: Amazing Grace - Learning that is pays to train- - Wording gats from page to page - Turning raps to flames and blades- - Surely that’s the way in age to earning stats and gain a name- - Murder masses, stating claims - Burners blast the place I reign- - The working class, it ain’t a thing to burst and clash and break and slay- - Bury bastards, they will lay in dirty caskets praying they... Could hurdle back to face the greatest person kats engaged afraid- - Thinking they...Earned the chains, the pearls, the cash and fame attained- - The fury, wrath, and rage I drain is Pearly past the painted gates- - This world is captive, caged, enslaved and burned to ashes raining grains- - Earthly fragment-plains explains the burning passion trait engraved... Eternal AS inferno trapped internal wrapped in verbal game- - And attached to herbal haze - In a massive circle, placed... In the heart of a genius who writes as far as the seasons... The seas, his scars, and the feces and garbage varnishing streets with... Departures, the pardons, the arson and carcasses leaping... Feets from the cars when the heat is bizarre with its speeches- - So try to keep up when Free spits...the art of the thesis- - Cause as far as the peace is - It’s martyr to reach it- - It’s harder to eat this...And swallow the pieces- - Or did you even get why I even bothered to leak this?... -------------  |
Replies:
Posted By: Rhymez
Date Posted: 06 June 2008 at 12:00pm
| get the fuck out of here. i only read like the first 4 lines. that shit was crazy. im about to read the rest now but im already gonna rate this a 10/10. you cant be fucked with. |
Posted By: Quintessential
Date Posted: 06 June 2008 at 1:07pm
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Shit homes, flow and multis were fuckin off the hook. Vast vocabulary there and the message was conveyed immaculately. I would go as far as saying this is a flawless piece. 10/10.
------------- Got the style even insomniacs are dreaming of... |
Posted By: Freeda5thDawg
Date Posted: 06 June 2008 at 2:10pm
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really appreciate that you both...thanks...
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Posted By: Kay B
Date Posted: 06 June 2008 at 2:14pm
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Dope as normal, even though i give the same feed EVERY TIME on your pieces they never get boring to read or feed (dope rhyming there) General content alone is enough to shit on half this site let alone the fact it had immense flow throughout the whole thing....dope shit man, as impressive as normal
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Posted By: Freeda5thDawg
Date Posted: 06 June 2008 at 2:35pm
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much thanks kay...
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Posted By: Matt The Ripper
Date Posted: 06 June 2008 at 5:14pm
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Wow. That's mad impressive. Someday i'm just going to take the time to read back through your older drops, too, and maybe i'll learn something from it! Haha! Fuckin' dope, 5th! |
Posted By: SwordedStylez
Date Posted: 06 June 2008 at 7:22pm
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Usually i'm a big fan of your work as you know, but half of this didn't even make any sense to me. It all flowed and rhymed brilliantly, don't get me wrong there, but half of your lines are just there to rhyme, they don't ACTUALLY mean anything. Some examples:
Wording gats from page to page - Turning raps to flames and blades- - Surely that’s the way in age to earning stats and gain a name- - at first glance a dope bar, second glance something stands out. what does "that's teh way in age" mean? Murder masses, stating claims - Burners blast the place I reign- - The working class, it ain’t a thing to burst and clash and break and slay- - again, it rhymes beautifully, but it's just a lot of partly connected words strung together with no context, there's no real meaning to it. The fury, wrath, and rage I drain is Pearly past the painted gates- -
how can emotions that you drain BE "pearly past the painted gates" it doesn't make sense. This world is captive, caged, enslaved and burned to ashes raining grains- - started off good, but where's the "raining grains" coming from. maybe grains of ashes raining from the ksy i guess, ut the fact that you're rhyming every word means the content is lacking any syntax or context for it to make any real sense in english. 10/10 for the amount of words you rhyme, but content-wise this lacked incredibly, it's like you threw alot of generalised words into a rhyme template to me. I wasn't feelin this anywhere near as much as some of your stuff man. Sorry if you don't agree with my post, but as one of the few cats I ACTUALLY RATE on this site, i expected better. Peace ------------- https://soundcloud.com/lostblueeyes" rel="nofollow - Music Ink - Always remembered, never forgotten (as a fake as fuck piece of shit who tried to steal 2 persona's) |
Posted By: DressToKill
Date Posted: 06 June 2008 at 7:28pm
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I knowticed that too actually..But I didnt know if it was just me?Seems some content was lacked for rhyming purposes..none the less the rhyming was dope.. ------------- The original comeback kid |
Posted By: Freeda5thDawg
Date Posted: 07 June 2008 at 12:10am
know this...i will never write a rhyme if it didn't have any meaning... and know this...i will never write a rhyme so everyone could get it...when i write, i write for me, so know this...i know what i'm talking about, i know what i'm expressing, and know this...you're not the only one who doesn't get my stuff...but it's my way of writing, ya kno....thanks for the feedness stylez... ------------- |
SwordedStylez wrote:Posted By: SwordedStylez
Date Posted: 07 June 2008 at 12:22am
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It's cool man, I aint hatin, as I say, i'm a big fan of yours. Just some of it didn't seem to make sense to me, fair enough if it makes sense to you, I can fully appreciate that in writing, just the syntax/obscurity of your words in this one left me feeling like it was too up in the air when it came to it actually bein about somethin. AS I say, no hate, the only reason I'm replyin is so you know that because i'm a fan and I rate you, so I don't want you to think I'm needlessly hatin on you or nuttin. Just tryna give good feedback. ------------- https://soundcloud.com/lostblueeyes" rel="nofollow - Music Ink - Always remembered, never forgotten (as a fake as fuck piece of shit who tried to steal 2 persona's) |
Posted By: Freeda5thDawg
Date Posted: 07 June 2008 at 12:34am
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nothing you said was hatin at all...no worries...
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