Punchline Help
Printed From: Lyrical Assault
Category: Emcee Lounge
Forum Name: Elevation Centre
Forum Description: If you want advice or tips to improve then this is the place to be.
URL: http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15646
Printed Date: 27 March 2026 at 4:00am
Topic: Punchline Help
Posted By: mcwoods
Subject: Punchline Help
Date Posted: 06 July 2008 at 7:17pm
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anyone who is looking help, or just wants to spitball some shiz, just check up here, and ill give you advice and what not, ill pass on my knowledge, and show you how i, personally, come up with the plays i do...
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Replies:
Posted By: Madeye
Date Posted: 06 July 2008 at 7:26pm
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Aiight, mayng...
I'll sign for a crash-course, I absorb info EZ... so this won't take long.
Holla'. ------------- <font color=darkgray>I'm only offended by those I respect... and I don't respect you[/COLOR] |
Posted By: mcwoods
Date Posted: 06 July 2008 at 7:40pm
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cool, well of course, the obvious punchlines, is a humourous play on a persons name or on any word.... it usually consists of a set up, and the the "punchline" or the joke, that finishes the line off in a clever and unexpected twist, it can be simple or complicated...
and example of a set up, is just a general phrase, i.e. ill make you throw up blood...... you take this, and then you think... okay what "throws up blood" or what could "throw up blood"... in general, every punch works because a word, or a phrase has two different meanings, i.e flow = rapping rhythum and can mean a river, blow it = can me blowjob / a bomb / to screw something up etc, they are simple, but you get the idea, a persons name has many potential punches i.e., my name woods... "put the heat to woods.......like a camp fire...... like a log cabin in hell (fatal i believe), so ill slice up woods, like a logg cutter" etc the more you can find words that have more meanings, the more plays can come up with, those examples ie flow, have been used alot, and thus may be deemed played back to the original "throw up blood".... i thought of that and then thought "okay.. what throws up blood", in this case, blood doesnt really have a double meaning, but threw up can, to be physically sick, or something throwing up something.... so wih the blood bit, i got thinking a donor... or more specifically a donor van... as it has blood inside it... so when would a donor van... have blood going up and down in it...??... i came up with... "going over a speedbump" as this bump would cause the blood inside to go, or to be thrown up so the punch would be yo imma kill this cat, easy.... we all know he sucks ill have him "throwin' up blood", like a donor van over speed bumps... get it.... thats the general process... ill give you a few set ups, and you have a go, finishing the punches, some may be a lil played, or might be a lil forced, but that is totally fine at this stage,, there is no wrong.... only degrees of dopeness lol... so examples of setups.. 1...put the heat to ya dome... 2... make this chicken run.... 3..... leave a cat with no head.... 4..... leave this guy black and blue...(like is the usual start for these, as they are similie type punchlines, but its not a hard and fast rule) 5.... have this cat strugglin to breathe... 6.... this guy felt more hands... 7.... this guy spend more time on his back 8.... this guy been beaten on the job.... okay thats a start.. do these if you can.. anyone who is interested and i will critique them, give you my examples.. and we can more on to further stages...
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Posted By: Madeye
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 2:27pm
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Aiight... 1 > there ain't no chance for any ya' lines to stay chilled, dudes I put the heat to ya' dome like Sun on Igloo homes' roofs... ...ehh, was that okay? LOL @ self. 2 > this dude more G rated than kid's movies that promise fun... I'll have this newb animated like DreamWorks' Chicken Run! ...ummnnn... changed the setup to a punch... wuss' good? I'll continue later on... need some food. ------------- <font color=darkgray>I'm only offended by those I respect... and I don't respect you[/COLOR] |
Posted By: direct1
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 2:44pm
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i'll bring heat to ya dome like ive torched millenium way
so its like http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Millennium_Dome" rel="nofollow - seein_0_2 makin ya suffocate (the c in 02 = c02)
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Posted By: direct1
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 2:50pm
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i have this cat findin it hard to breathe like he bagged up in a river
the only time he spit hot shit was in a tray of kitty litter
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Posted By: Madeye
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 4:50pm
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LOL @ "hot shit in a tray of kitty litter"... Nice finish wit' that, d1... I seen the "kitty litter" play before, but you made it you own. Nice. One ['1] ------------- <font color=darkgray>I'm only offended by those I respect... and I don't respect you[/COLOR] |
Posted By: Madeye
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 4:58pm
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6 > while the clock ticks ya' spit "tricks" n' holler at charity supporter this guy felt more hands than a 2 dollar smorg' on ya local corner... ------------- <font color=darkgray>I'm only offended by those I respect... and I don't respect you[/COLOR] |
Posted By: D.king
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 5:55pm
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i am not http://images.google.com/images?gbv=2&hl=en&safe=off&q=orbit+gum&btnG=Search+Images" rel="nofollow - orbit but i'll clean out dirt like i brush tounges cuz I'll have this cat struggling to breath like crush lungs ------------- I resemble the tooth fairy by the way i am taking your crown!! |
Posted By: SwordedStylez
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 7:01pm
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when i spit i'm fuckin blessed like a rasta in zion
i'll make ya 'swallow ya pride' like a cannibal lion ;) ------------- https://soundcloud.com/lostblueeyes" rel="nofollow - Music Ink - Always remembered, never forgotten (as a fake as fuck piece of shit who tried to steal 2 persona's) |
Posted By: bad karma
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 7:14pm
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hayo man check dis out..(n ma badd if im wrong).. but is these punchlines n if not wtf are they? lol 2-i'll make this chickin run, like i chopped of his head 3-ill leave a cat wit no head, like they names ann boleyn 4-ill leave this guy black n blue, let da police ask wot happened to you?
coz its a fact you will do like most pussyholes, n keep ya trap shut n glued! 5-im a choke this fag, leave this cat strugglin ta breathe
in a hodel bag, in a lake dis is fate, dat his bubblin and weak 6-this guys felt more hands than linda lovelace, they been hard or soft?
made da guiness records 4 most dicks in one place, he be hard fo cock! 7-this guy spends mo time on his back, than paris hilton its fact
he trys for the guys who hav wallets fat, n then he milks em its whack!
8-this guy been beaten on the job more times than dicks by hoes!
this trick tried blokes now fo prick crys mo, wotta sick guy yo....
phew..................fukin hell wood dat was mo work then i thought dude haha, anyways i dont think half dem are prolly even rite but im bored n tired so figured giv it a go....
hit me up n lemme no wots happenin wit ma shit yeah. Peace.....\0/ ------------- stuck here wit a damaged back, how tha fuck i manage that? its savage that woz a hit n run, this shit aint fun almost chipped me bum :( |
Posted By: Madeye
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 7:19pm
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the way you talk shit, it'd kill a dino's sense of smell Thas' the only time you a threat to a lyricist's health...
...  ------------- <font color=darkgray>I'm only offended by those I respect... and I don't respect you[/COLOR] |
Posted By: bad karma
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 7:24pm
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HA HA
hahahahahahaha
wot a tard i jus realised dis shit aint even punches its wordplay o mettas o sumshit innit haha
mayn we outa have a dictionary jus fo karma i think lol
anyways hit me up n lemme no how i can rise in ma rhymes... ------------- stuck here wit a damaged back, how tha fuck i manage that? its savage that woz a hit n run, this shit aint fun almost chipped me bum :( |
Posted By: mcwoods
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 7:35pm
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madeye -
there ain't no chance for any ya' lines to stay chilled, dudes I put the heat to ya' dome like Sun on Igloo homes' roofs... exactly... this is a cool example of wordplay... though you stretched the concept a bit, simply.. "like tha sun on an igloo", would be MORE effective, as its simple and hard hitting and not being bogged down by the details, you see, and an igloo is naturally a dome shape, so no need to mention tha roof, but thats a brill start this dude more G rated than kid's movies that promise fun... I'll have this newb animated like DreamWorks' Chicken Run! that is a brilliant concept, the animated is a brilliant concept i would have spun it like.. this battle'll be like that dream works movie, ill leave this rat animated (ratoutoie) see how that provides an aditional play, not just dream works / animated, which is briliant, but then the extra, rat / snitch..... an actual rat / mouse, as the star of the dream works movie, see..? as the original goes.. you got the idea of tha "chicken run" movie, which was the main point, so that is good shiz, both of those show brilliant potential,,, ideally when you think of a play, word it three or more times differently, working in different concepts etc, to make the play the best it can possibly be... while the clock ticks ya' spit "tricks" n' holler at charity supporter this guy felt more hands than a 2 dollar smorg' on ya local corner... ill assume smorg = prostitute lol... but im not sure, if that is right... then thats cool, the play works and its funny... but again, you maybe focused on the wrong detail, going on the street corner..... maybe shorten it to... "this bitch felt more hands, than a 2 dollar whore!", simple and too the point... get it? thats good shiz tho... you def have the right ideas direct1 i'll bring heat to ya dome like ive torched millenium way so its like http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Millennium_Dome" rel="nofollow - seein_0_2 makin ya suffocate (the c in 02 = c02) both those plays are very good, im not 100% on the second one... lol, but tha first one is a brillaint concept, a well known dome... and the fire / torch is simple and too the point... that is good... i have this cat findin it hard to breathe like he bagged up in a river the only time he spit hot shit was in a tray of kitty litter here we have some problems, first play is good, but a little too literal....i.e "im gonna kill this guy, by stopping his heart" lol, ya see?... first one is a good line/punch.... but it aint a funny wordplay /punchline.. its just explaining what your going to do, without something clever on it... kitty litter is a decent idea too, but you worded it wrong.. if your taking the "cat" from the inital line, then the play is good... but spit should be placed with drop, as they both mean the same, but drop allows for the double meaning, meaning to take a shit or drop a verse... another way that could have been taken was "only time this pussy drop hot shit, is in his litter tray".... pussy = pussy/ cat lol.... drop shit , again too meanings... see how that works?... small changes that make a big difference, to how it reads and how hard it hits.. but again good concepts, minor delivery tweaks and you'll be a beast in no time... like frankenstien in limbo.. D KING i am not http://images.google.com/images?gbv=2&hl=en&safe=off&q=orbit+gum&btnG=Search+Images" rel="nofollow - orbit but i'll clean out dirt like i brush tounges cuz I'll have this cat struggling to breath like crush lungs okay, some problems here...the play is decent in the second line, but again, its not very clever, which is what we after. its too literal like direct one, admittedly that set up was hard, but you have to go outside the box with it.... first line the orbit / clean, but was a nice idea... but the point is dissing "i clean out dirt" isnt the most effective line, ya know.... its kinda like saying "i'll rinse you" etc..."i remove idiots" its just not a power phrase.. and tongues dont have alot of dirt on them, so the play itself doesn't make alot of sense... the orbit bit is cool..... so you have to think, whats associated with orbit..... freshness.. breath...... mouth.... rapping used the mouth...... so something like "all my spits is fresh like im chewing orbit / chewing wrigleys"..... "its like im chewing wrigleys.. all my spits is fresh" "its like im chewing orbit, everything out of my mouth is fresh"... you see... that play is cool, you had the play, but then got confused and put in a bad/ confused play.. but the conept is there... good shiz... SwordedStylez when i spit i'm fuckin blessed like a rasta in zion i'll make ya 'swallow ya pride' like a cannibal lion ^ this is a nice example of a punchline... and it takes another way to do them.. instead of a set up, made up by you..... you take an exisitng phrase.... or popular sentence/phrase/quote.. and turn it around and give it a new meaning... "swallow ya pride"... meaning to retreat / be scared etc... pride = a group of lions.... swallow a pride.... "who would swallow/ eat a group of lions"..... it just so happens SS chose cannibal lions, which makes sense and is clever... so the punch works well.... another example is... "quit while your ahead"..... thats a popular phrase.... no what quits / stops.. while its a head.....this gusy punch (forgotten who) was.... "quit while your a-head, like aborted foetuses"... which is clever and delivers a hard hitting concept id like ya'll to come up with a few punches your selve, they just have to be simple and funny... do them in word... come with a little collection.... and we can critique them again.. pointing out good and bad points in other peoples punches will show you where you are going wrong in your own.... thank you.. |
Posted By: mcwoods
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 7:38pm
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1-ima reach fo tha chrome, coz im fukin bizarre i'll put heat to ya dome like u a dawg ina car! LOL... thsi was pretty funny... there has been controversy, leaving dogs in cars, so this is relevant and in our culture, which makes it funny... but the dawg reference is a little obscure as it hasnt alot to do with heat/ dome.. the obvious play on heat = a gun... but not a bad start... that one may get a laugh.. 2-i'll make this chickin run, like i chopped of his head dropped him for dead, its like his lifes lost in tha dread this aint a punchline... tho chicken / choped off head... cud be a play.. "running around like a headless chicken" is a well known phrase.. so that could have worked.. the rest wernt punchlines as you realised lol.. but keep doing and you could do some damage.. |
Posted By: mcwoods
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 7:41pm
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Another way to punch..... is to give words an alternate meaning, by splitting them to create a new word.. or given the same word can be spelt two different ways..... ie weighs/ways... week/weak... hoe/ho
or
lyracist - leer assist..... ya get it? .... concussion - con cushion, any play with this will lead to an automatic play... another good exercise is to find words that split or have two different ways to spell and these will form the basis for future set ups and plays.... |
Posted By: D.king
Date Posted: 07 July 2008 at 9:59pm
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soo how do i use this...??? does this make sence? i'll leave this con cushions to the head ------------- I resemble the tooth fairy by the way i am taking your crown!! |
Posted By: mcwoods
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 7:04am
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in a word....no.... "ill leave this con cushions to the head"....... read that...... what part of that means anything
Ill leave this con - cushions to the head...... your gonna put a cushion to a con's head?.... i see what your gettin' at con-cushion / head... but you didnt relate them in a way that makes sense.... thats what that translates as.... in basic terms, which you should start with... the word "like" should be used... i.e "Ill give this dude a concussion.... like tha prison laundry service"... set up ^ ................................................punch ^ the set up makes sense, im going to hurt this guy, and you split concussion, meaning a head injury, to CON - CUSHION...... who would give con's......cushions........ the prision laundry service.... hence the punch a few more examples create a punch with HO's....... the double meanings being whore / and HOSE - like a water hose.... |
Posted By: direct1
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 7:05am
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this is in an open battle at the moment between me and mad eye you could comment on this bar here or ive dropped the link to the http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15644&PN=1" rel="nofollow - battle cheers
its unorthadox da way i destroy this faggots vision
leave mad eye fucked like sittin too close to telivisions/
what if it was
its unorthadox da way i destroy his winnin visions
leave mad eyes fucked like sittin to close to televisions/
im tryna think of what u said bout wording....
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Posted By: direct1
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 7:13am
what if it was,
my bars jail this boi he only giv cons cushions for bed
im breakin his bars n give him concusion to da head
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mcwoods wrote:Posted By: bad karma
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 8:12am
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ha ha yea cheers mayn, so yo i wernt jokin bout this whole dictionary thing lol wot was it i used there wordplay.....metta's.....????
n i no dis mite sound stupid ta sum but how else you gon learn n elevate? ------------- stuck here wit a damaged back, how tha fuck i manage that? its savage that woz a hit n run, this shit aint fun almost chipped me bum :( |
Posted By: mcwoods
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 8:53am
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direct 1
its unorthadox da way i destroy his winnin visions leave mad eyes fucked like sittin to close to televisions/
yeah thats money.... "leave mad eyes fucked", is a nice set up... the nthe thought has to be .... what leaves eyes fucked.... and... you got it right... sitting too close to the television is a funny concept.... see the initial set up, has you thinking... madeye, as in your opponent and the punchline has the person thinking about eye's as in sight.. so it makes thm rethink and its clever, thats a cool punch one tip is... you see the way you left.. "mad" in there...... it still works, but it doesnt add much..... if it had've been "watch as i leave eyes fucked, like sitting too close to the tv", it would be more funny, as your still talking about your opponent.... and the mad doesnt detract..... as people may expect the "mad" to add to the punch, which in this case it didnt.. you see.. my bars jail this boi he only giv cons cushions for bed
im breakin his bars n give him concusion to da head
as far as this goes, its a good line, but not a really goos punch as you gave away the concushion / concussion play in the first line, it aint as effective in the second line, but as a bar, it atleast makes sense, its a good punch, but its not a clever wordplay punch, however the break his bars could be a punch if you meant that .... bars / lines / prison bars.... if that was meant, then thats two nice plays in one which makes it more effective.... have a go at coming up with 3-4 punchlines, with different techniques, and ill critique them, and then we can move on with how i come up with them, as there are certain formulas you can use to come up with plays.... KARMA metaphores and similies can be wordplay... " a simile states that A is like B, a metaphor states that A is B or substitutes B for A. According to this definition, then, "You are my sunshine" is a metaphor whereas "Your eyes are like the sun" is a simile." wordplay is using a double meaning of a word, to give the phrase two meanings... ie
"i stand and box these fags all day, like cuban employment" box these fags = punching homosexuals...... or packing ciggarettes cubans are typically associated with working simple jobs and the cuban economy is known for cigars / ciggarettes .... |
Posted By: direct1
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 9:01am
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yeh this is was i meant ad cheers for the info should help alot
my bars jail this boi he only giv cons cushions for bed
bars like in a prison hence to set up the con part of it
im breakin his bars n give him concusion to da head
and yeh i did mean break through his jail bails/ tryna say his bars are weak...
do u wanna drop a few more set ups please coz if i do my own i wont challenge myself as much lol
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Posted By: mcwoods
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 9:09am
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lol, yeah they work.. thats a good job... ehhh set ups
it would be easier and you'd get better punches with your own.... as ill explain later, its generally the punchline that can create the set up, not the other way around lol, as soon as you think of the play/ punch, the set up is the bit to make it a full punchline... but a few set ups... this guy seen more l's.... this guy aint seen W's streaking.... leave thus guy with more broken bones this guy will have a bloody nose also... understand you can / and probably will need to change the set ups, these are just the set ups for punches i could use, but if you have a new idea then you will prob have to change them....as alot of these punches will contain double meaning words that can be used for other punches this dude could be superman have this guy breakin faster put the steel to woods ill fuck up karma.... |
Posted By: direct1
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 9:18am
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put the steel to woods like i cut him wid jigsaws
leave him puzzled n woods crumbles like chipboard
i thought of steel but didnt want to use guns and then thought what cuts wood = a jigsaw
so then what do jigsaws cut wood into = puzzles and i knew i could rhyme the end with board ie wood so i was thinkin his rhymes leave u board but that doesnt hit hard at all lol then i thought of chipboard and how it breaks easily and thats how i came up with that bar.
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Posted By: Madeye
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 12:51pm
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dude thinks he's uh' Rappin'-Superman, but he ain't dressed tight... He more a Lex Luthor brand, 'cause he fakes flight and just don't fight... ...I unno... I liked theat superman setup... and my original concept hadn't emerged... instead, I came to this punch... Impact? ------------- <font color=darkgray>I'm only offended by those I respect... and I don't respect you[/COLOR] |
Posted By: SwordedStylez
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 3:24pm
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the set up works better as a punchline actually, if u had a different set-up and that as the second bar it'd be a half decent play... ------------- https://soundcloud.com/lostblueeyes" rel="nofollow - Music Ink - Always remembered, never forgotten (as a fake as fuck piece of shit who tried to steal 2 persona's) |
Posted By: Madeye
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 3:47pm
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Aiight... S.Stylez............. Noted. Thanx for the looks, Fam. One ['1] ------------- <font color=darkgray>I'm only offended by those I respect... and I don't respect you[/COLOR] |
Posted By: Madeye
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 4:03pm
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I threw this one at Poten-C... Bitches bitch... you can't tell me you ain't sportin' a pussy... You like a virgin that denies ya' big mouth just took me!!! and this one at Rameez... Oh, look! It's the skittish bitch that wouldn't battle me This muh' fucka' weaker than Double A Batteries!!! Any comments / feeds / criticisms ? Holla'. ------------- <font color=darkgray>I'm only offended by those I respect... and I don't respect you[/COLOR] |
Posted By: Rameez
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 9:56pm
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both were weak tbh.. in what way I am weaker than double a batteries??? the setup was cool but then 2nd line didn't make sense.. the 1 against potent. same problem with punchline seems homo, don't land.. ------------- 
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Posted By: Madeye
Date Posted: 08 July 2008 at 10:02pm
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and... yur shot at me in Diss forum?... [which is in *bitching thread*]
That was more "homo" than any these two.
No hate. Just feedin' you back.
One ['1] ------------- <font color=darkgray>I'm only offended by those I respect... and I don't respect you[/COLOR] |
Posted By: D.king
Date Posted: 09 July 2008 at 3:14am
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lol ur weaker than 2 double A batteries... dude batteries are strong.... u have to say dieing batteries u don't have a chance partner, cuz ur losing this date its like i fucked with karma, the way i am screwing with fate (couldn't think of a better set up bar?) ------------- I resemble the tooth fairy by the way i am taking your crown!! |
Posted By: Plat
Date Posted: 09 July 2008 at 6:48am
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taking food from his plate, rattled like a room fulla snakes
its like i fucked with karma, the way i am screwing with fate
dudes a mistake, leav'em 'pumped' since his 'movement is fake'
its your 'time to shine' when kick him with 'polished shoes in the face'
:) sorry im board ------------- 
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Posted By: D.king
Date Posted: 09 July 2008 at 2:53pm
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nawww i like mine better than urs plat... i think i made the better connection of: u don't have a chance/ date (a girl u take out) fucking karma/ screwing fate ------------- I resemble the tooth fairy by the way i am taking your crown!! |
Posted By: Madeye
Date Posted: 09 July 2008 at 3:01pm
lol... it WASN't TWO double A batteries... just double A's however... they'z small, and can't power much more than little devices. Plus... the btu's from people conquer batteries... irrelevant, but you heads 'in the box'. ------------- <font color=darkgray>I'm only offended by those I respect... and I don't respect you[/COLOR] |
Posted By: Plat
Date Posted: 10 July 2008 at 1:54am
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u don't have a chance partner, cuz ur losing this date
^^so your saying your guna take him on a date? your a homo? -------------
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Posted By: D.king
Date Posted: 10 July 2008 at 4:20pm
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come on its not homo unless u think of it as homo.... 1st line could mean (if u don't think about gay stuff) i am stealing ur gurl!!!
------------- I resemble the tooth fairy by the way i am taking your crown!! |
Posted By: Ache Way
Date Posted: 13 September 2008 at 8:25am
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1...put the heat to ya dome...
I'll put the heat to your dome Like BBall Teams Doing The Lesser hajj
2... make this chicken run.... i'll make this chicken run like cockerel couples in foreplay
3..... leave a cat with no head....
I drop bombs that blow pussies' mind andl leave a cat with no head
4..... leave this guy black and blue i'll leave this guy black and blue Like Paint Fights
5.... have this cat strugglin to breathe...
My flow will drown this kid and have cat struggling to breathe
6.... this guy felt more hands... This guy felt more hands than when inmates found sleeping beauty
7.... this guy spend more time on his back
Bathing with cooking ingredients this guy spend more time(thyme) on his back
8.... this guy been beaten on the job.... this guy been beaten on the job like egyptian taskmasters
Feed Plz
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Posted By: 9MM
Date Posted: 30 November 2008 at 1:06pm
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i just wanted to no if this soundss good or not
ill blast a clip in a bitch, i aint scared to kill a nigga
leave ya body bloody and holly like a church with no preacher
is dat good or bad
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Posted By: 9MM
Date Posted: 30 November 2008 at 1:12pm
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or this one...its about myself
they call u 9mm but u cant pull no clips
ill fuck u up nine times so nine aint shit
dat waz wak
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Posted By: Cuba
Date Posted: 30 November 2008 at 2:07pm
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1...put the heat to ya dome...like hot domes, yo 2... make this chicken run....like animal olympics 3..... leave a cat with no head....like a French Guillotine 4..... leave this guy black and blue...like black and blue bodypaint, yo 5.... have this cat strugglin to breathe...like he was extremely obese, and this was causing an obstruction to his windpipe...man 6.... this guy felt more hands...than velcro glove manufacturers 7.... this guy spend more time on his back... than inexplicably inversed clock faces 8.... this guy been beaten on the job....like simultaneous masturbation and felatio GENETICALLY MODIFIED SICKNESS SON...DOLLA BACK ------------- 
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Posted By: Cuba
Date Posted: 30 November 2008 at 2:13pm
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Man, y'all is type whack...like being overly agressive with keyboards
YOU CAN'T FUCK WITH THIS...VIRGIN WORDPLAY SON, VAGINA RAPS SON...AINT NO PUSSY'S FUCKING WITH THIS -------------
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Posted By: Calibra
Date Posted: 30 November 2008 at 2:23pm
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7.... this guy spend more time on his back... than inexplicably inversed clock faces
Lmfao!
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Posted By: 9MM
Date Posted: 01 December 2008 at 2:50pm
| no one answerd my question |
Posted By: Calibra
Date Posted: 01 December 2008 at 3:02pm
| They were wack. |
Posted By: 9MM
Date Posted: 01 December 2008 at 3:06pm
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oh
wat do i need to change or fix
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Posted By: Calibra
Date Posted: 01 December 2008 at 3:35pm
For this I'd start with cutting out the gun talk. Also it's spelt Holy. And for me this didn't even rhyme, that generally doesn't work in your favour.
This is weak, no punch at all. It has no sting. If someone said that to you in a battle would you be like "Ohhh shit! He got me there!"? Work on dissing yourself in private though as it will help with creating your punchlines. Check some of the tutorials around the site too.
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Posted By: King Jehu
Date Posted: 01 December 2008 at 3:53pm
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I got u Quba
1...put the heat to ya dome... Like rubbing alcohol on a freshly shaved head 2... make this chicken run... Like colonel sanders is chasing it 3..... leave a cat with no head... Like Perfecto making dinner 4..... leave this guy black and blue... Like you tried to change your luck by painting a black cat blue 5.... have this cat strugglin to breathe... Like Tom chasing Jerry all day 6.... this guy felt more hands... than politicians meeting people on the campaign trail 7.... this guy spend more time on his back... than dead people 8.... this guy been beaten on the job... like being last to cum in gay 69 ------------- Insert something rappy here |
Posted By: Cuba
Date Posted: 01 December 2008 at 3:58pm
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No homo @ No. 8 -------------
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Posted By: DressToKill
Date Posted: 01 December 2008 at 4:10pm
 ..Take notes kids------------- The original comeback kid |
Posted By: Calibra
Date Posted: 01 December 2008 at 4:39pm
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Ok...
1...put the heat to ya dome... Like arsonists in the O2 arena
2... make this chicken run... Like a low budget clay animation film 3..... leave a cat with no head... Like an angry cannibal with pet alergies 4..... leave this guy black and blue... Like a fading night sky 5.... have this cat strugglin to breathe... Like Biggie everytime he spoke 6.... this guy felt more hands... Than a champion arm wrestler 7.... this guy spend more time on his back... Than his masseuse 8.... this guy been beaten on the job... Like everyone Brock Lesnar fights Yeah son!
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Posted By: Bolo
Date Posted: 01 December 2008 at 6:33pm
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1....put the heat to ya dome...like fellatio from a hot woman 2....make this chicken run...like i was producing a 2000 animated flick 3....leave a cat with no head...like he married a mormon girl 4....leave this guy black and blue...like he was banging paint-covered drums as a member of the well-known blueman group 5....have this cat struggling to breathe...like he was wrestling a much stronger person while a 2004 Fabolous track played in the background 6....this guy felt more hands...than a penny 7....this guy spend more time on his back...than the second swimmers on medley relay teams 8....this guy been beaten on the job...like jesus ------------- I am the one that knocks... |
Posted By: King Jehu
Date Posted: 01 December 2008 at 6:44pm
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I'm sorry sirs, there's some genius showing through your stupid punchlines ------------- Insert something rappy here |
Posted By: Cuba
Date Posted: 01 December 2008 at 7:08pm
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Did anybody get my outrageous pun on the French guillotine one....aristocrats/cats
Whomp Whomp Whommmmmp -------------
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Posted By: -Orion-
Date Posted: 01 December 2008 at 8:29pm
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I don't honestly know where to start... ------------- They just said that FUCKIN' with me They didn't mean it Nah . . . |
Posted By: Cuba
Date Posted: 02 December 2008 at 10:08am
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With..."put the heat to your dome" -------------
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Posted By: Tawabamule
Date Posted: 02 December 2008 at 3:56pm
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lmao@ "tutorial" and lmao@ these "punchlines" fuckin queers |
Posted By: SwordedStylez
Date Posted: 02 December 2008 at 5:25pm
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lmao@ you thinking that people are doing this from a serious standpoint
fuckin tool ------------- https://soundcloud.com/lostblueeyes" rel="nofollow - Music Ink - Always remembered, never forgotten (as a fake as fuck piece of shit who tried to steal 2 persona's) |
Posted By: Cuba
Date Posted: 02 December 2008 at 6:48pm
LIKE A DILDO -------------
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Posted By: Kay B
Date Posted: 02 December 2008 at 6:52pm
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8....this guy been beaten on the job...like hatton vs mayweather Ya'll aint got shit on me...bitches -------------  |
Posted By: Calibra
Date Posted: 02 December 2008 at 7:13pm
LIKE R. KELLY EXPANDING HIS MIND AND TRYING NEW THINGS
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Posted By: Tawabamule
Date Posted: 03 December 2008 at 12:17am
what?  ^LMAO |
Posted By: King Jehu
Date Posted: 03 December 2008 at 12:42am
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what does his face mean? I fail to see your point. ------------- Insert something rappy here |
Posted By: -Orion-
Date Posted: 03 December 2008 at 6:30am
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To me that just looks like a regular white guy...now if he was all thugged out you'd laugh at him for being a wannabe, and now you laughin' at him for lookin' normal...what can he do? Stop being white? There is absolutely nothing funny about that picture...unless I missed something
------------- They just said that FUCKIN' with me They didn't mean it Nah . . . |
Posted By: Cuba
Date Posted: 03 December 2008 at 9:21am
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Being white is funny, yo -------------
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Posted By: Swift Styles
Date Posted: 03 December 2008 at 9:26am
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lmfao... -------------  |
Posted By: SwordedStylez
Date Posted: 03 December 2008 at 9:59am
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Kid's obsessed with me, I never posted that pic from this account, so he went as far as to search for tigger posts just to get a pic of me. Luckily he's foreign, I wouldn't want a weird ass stalker-troll sittin outside my gaff waitin for me to come to the window so he can cream his pants... ------------- https://soundcloud.com/lostblueeyes" rel="nofollow - Music Ink - Always remembered, never forgotten (as a fake as fuck piece of shit who tried to steal 2 persona's) |
Posted By: King Jehu
Date Posted: 03 December 2008 at 10:05am
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Yes you would... if only to get the humor from the situation. ------------- Insert something rappy here |
Posted By: -Orion-
Date Posted: 03 December 2008 at 12:09pm
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Doubt he knows you had another alias? Probably Myspace searched your email address... take your pick which is more pathetic
------------- They just said that FUCKIN' with me They didn't mean it Nah . . . |
Posted By: BiggStankDogg
Date Posted: 03 December 2008 at 12:30pm
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1. Put the heat to ya dome, like Joe Pesci in Home Alone 2. Make this chicken run - I laced ya noodle-soup with Dulcalax, son 3. Leave a cat with no head, curiosity left it severed and dead 4. Leave this guy more black and blue than Bo Diddly chillin' with Snoop-A-Loop 5. Have this cat strugglin to breathe - these fur-balls makin' him choke n' wheeze... 6. This guy felt more hands than the World Poker Champ givin' high 5's 7. This guy spend more time on his back than "Glass" Joe in Punch Out!!! has... 8. This guy been beaten on the job like a confused dominatrix ------------- 
Fear the Bow of the Silent Archer |
Posted By: SwordedStylez
Date Posted: 03 December 2008 at 1:41pm
He would know, he's Flash' friend. ------------- https://soundcloud.com/lostblueeyes" rel="nofollow - Music Ink - Always remembered, never forgotten (as a fake as fuck piece of shit who tried to steal 2 persona's) |
Posted By: rapdisup
Date Posted: 15 January 2009 at 4:25pm
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ite woods ya sed ya wud be willing help if i read this right so cool im trying work on my style its obviously not workin an need know wat i can do im gonna put sum lines up can ya tell me if they along rite lines cheers for ur time man
if ya wanna be a real g follow one simple rule behave ya self round me or end up like that guy in michels swimming pool(barrymore killed a guy an left in pool) you should leave this battle,ya already lost reading ya last battle ya luk like ya might be lost? the room for fagots is that way what ya doin here?
this is a fukin rap site its not for fukin queers! this tha sorta thing im spittin is it along rite lines? hows can i improve it cheers
peace ------------- The Dr said it can't be beaten,I replied it 'can-sir'! It aint over till I Rapdisup |
Posted By: Bakkie
Date Posted: 23 January 2009 at 8:56pm
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sup ya'll good advice woods ima just spit some of the punchline set ups for bit of fun and practice.
1)
Im'a Split your face, make you look like you on crack~son,
'Put the heat to your dome' like Pepsi did Michael Jackson, (MJ's hair got set on fire on stage for pepsi advert ) 2)
This battle lemon squeezy, Bitter shit been written,
Im'a 'make this chicken run' like hittler did from Briton,
3)
Quit the gangsta' act, your raps written like formal spec's, ( formal specifications )
I'll 'leave this cat with no head' like a ban on oral sex,
4)
This like a bookmakers, if i lose then this bets been fixed up,
Either way i'll 'leave this guy black and blue' like an ethnic mix up,
tell me what you think woods feedback would be helpful hommie. cheers. ------------- 
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Posted By: mcwoods
Date Posted: 24 January 2009 at 7:32am
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yeah these punches where creative and the set ups where relevant..
you definately have the grasp of it.. you should drop some of your own in the open mic.. |
Posted By: Bakkie
Date Posted: 24 January 2009 at 2:10pm
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thanks man yeah i will work on somthing homie. -------------
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Posted By: TURTLE
Date Posted: 13 September 2009 at 12:56am
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-------------  <ce
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Posted By: TURTLE
Date Posted: 13 September 2009 at 1:19am
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Whats happenin,. Check this if you would. It aint much. By the way sorry for the previous blank.
Yeah Ima noob startin from scratch, not really knowin how ta make syllables match. Feel the THC from this bleezy that you breathe in so deeply, it may make you feel a lil dizzy from the direct hit you took so lengthly. Its alite, I know i need some work right... ------------- <ce
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Posted By: TURTLE
Date Posted: 13 September 2009 at 1:25am
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I have some prewritten stuff. If i post it would you critique it for me and give me some feed back? ------------- <ce
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Posted By: J Sass
Date Posted: 13 September 2009 at 2:22am
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thats what we here for homie, to help those who want help
some people might tell you that ya shyts Wack...or look at tha Tutorial
so next time you drop dont stretch yo last line like that....make it look like this....
Yeah Ima noob startin from scratch, not really knowin how ta make syllables match. Feel the THC from this bleezy that you breathe in so deeply it may make you feel a lil dizzy from the direct hit you took so lengthly. -------------  |
Posted By: TURTLE
Date Posted: 13 September 2009 at 5:42am
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Coo man I appreciate that. ------------- <ce
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Posted By: martial c
Date Posted: 02 September 2010 at 1:23am
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sup mcwoods i need help with punchlines that have exaggeration example: i'll kill you so fast you won't have enough time to die p.s. by the way this isn't mine pick it up from other rap forum thanks |
Posted By: $n00z
Date Posted: 02 September 2010 at 4:17am
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i'll punch you in yo chest so hard that it'll make ya shoulders touch each other ------------- U already know... |
Posted By: Calibra
Date Posted: 02 September 2010 at 10:17am
| mcwoods doesn't really post here too often anymore, and anything you could learn from him, you can learn by listening to the copious amounts of Lil Wayne he used to love. |
Posted By: J504
Date Posted: 02 September 2010 at 4:30pm
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make a hole in ur chest like Blain in Predator
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Posted By: mcwoods
Date Posted: 02 September 2010 at 5:04pm
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This tutorial probably wasn't the best idea lol... @ Cal  @ Martial C, What do you want to know? How to think them up? How to make them funny/ hard hitting etc? Alot of punchlines will be an exaggeration, as it is this exaggeration that generally makes a 'punchline', and gives it that funny edge. So basically to have a punch like that, its important to be as outrageous and as ludacris as possible. I.e. Twist your neck so far around, you'll prolly' look normal Im so far ahead of you dudes, i look in front and i see you (just from these two examples, you can see that the exaggerations are also contradictions, you set up with doing something, and then canceling it out with the actual 'punch', even in your example, 'kill you so fast', you don't have time to die' falls into this.) Another point is the impossible aspect of some of them, the biggest exaggeration is obviously one that is impossible and couldn't happen, so anything like that works for these kinds of punches. I always liked cassidy's line, 'i put a hole in a ni99a, bigga nuff to see through' im winding up my hooks, will my jabs is at him cooking custard while im crumbling his adams apple I dunno lol, if you can be a little more specific i cud probably be more helpful. |
Posted By: Calibra
Date Posted: 02 September 2010 at 5:08pm
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Sorry woods, couldn't resist. Where the fuck are you these days? We miss your bitching and over-inflated opinion of yourself lol j/p |
Posted By: mcwoods
Date Posted: 02 September 2010 at 10:21pm
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lulz, the truth hurts apparently lol.
Just been busy being busy, lost the will to battle or write raps. Whats good? You ever been to sinners or digital in newcastle? What you think of them? |
Posted By: Calibra
Date Posted: 02 September 2010 at 10:23pm
| Been to both. Only been to Sinners maybe twice. Been to Digital quite a few times and it's probably the best club in Newcastle. Get some pretty high profile DJ's playing in their too. |
Posted By: Cuba
Date Posted: 02 September 2010 at 10:45pm
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Depends on the night of course!! I used to go to Digital Tuesday nights...dunno if it's still HipHop night, but they had some official people in there. Canibus played the place upstairs. True story. -------------
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Posted By: $n00z
Date Posted: 03 September 2010 at 3:46am
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I'll fuckin, I'll fuckin twist ya kneecaps counter-clockwise, and tell you BITCH bow down! ------------- U already know... |
Posted By: BiggStankDogg
Date Posted: 03 September 2010 at 4:25am
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Real slow like ssssssssssssssssssss... -------------
Fear the Bow of the Silent Archer |
Posted By: $n00z
Date Posted: 05 September 2010 at 7:51am
LMAO
I"ll stick bamboo chutes under each of your fingernails and make you type me a 100 page essay in 1 hour
 Then make u take an alcohol shower ------------- U already know... |
Posted By: martial c
Date Posted: 06 September 2010 at 10:21pm
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thanks mcwoods i kinda get it but to be spefic about it i can't really get to much detail on it i'm decent at punchlines but to be at that level i'm not sure i can do it it's just takes a lot of thinking i'll post some up and you tell me it's related to that thanks again
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Posted By: martial c
Date Posted: 10 October 2010 at 7:10pm
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hey guys i've been workin on my punches give me feedback i'll butcher this snitch like a pig drag him in my backyard to the barn and chop him up with my meat clever cuz that's how i like my piggies smart for dinner i'll leave you dead shank you with my vicious water like arrowhead if i kill you you'll spill blood if your a tomato you spill ketchup many of these MC'S can't hold on i'm Robocop i'm gonna disconnect these microsofts Yo if this battle was a comparison of clothes i win cause your average like pants with a t-shirt While I'm advance with a vest along with a tuxedo |
Posted By: martial c
Date Posted: 10 October 2010 at 7:24pm
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heres more homie your dying behind jail if you try to get out of the cell you won't go nowhere pimp because i have you on lock where you can't sprint i heard rumors that you want to be gay and have very good same sex but how if your alone so perhaps find a electronic store that sales homophones God is mysterious in many ways but if you try to take his place watch out money cuz if you act like a G-O-D the brother upstairs will flip that making you D-O-G without your heat you think your Hot-Dog your kidding this is my show cuz i'm Hard-Rock don't try to solve it if you don't like math it's cool cuz i can be a big problem homie if we were playing halo i'll murder you punk cuz i'm the master cheif who's elite your just a grunt |
Posted By: thejourneyman
Date Posted: 10 October 2010 at 8:00pm
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thats good man just keep trying youll get better also somtimes when your writing a verse a punch will just come naturally i think its harder to pre write punchs and work your rhymes around them ------------- It not about where you're going its all about the journey man. |
Posted By: martial c
Date Posted: 11 October 2010 at 6:03am
| thanks man i'll work on it |
Posted By: martial c
Date Posted: 16 October 2010 at 5:40pm
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yo mcwoods what do you call this type of wordplay or punchline breakin cribs with a chrome bar i wasn't poor i was po' i couldn't afford the o.r. from big L also i got a wallet full of tens and twenties (got it from a form)
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Posted By: Kay B
Date Posted: 16 October 2010 at 7:51pm
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Neither are punchlines, or wordplay imo....
------------- |
Posted By: mcwoods
Date Posted: 16 October 2010 at 8:03pm
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what kay said pretty much (also, what up kay?) I would just call that a punchline, i wouldn't give it any more of a stricter definition than that, a punchline is basically a joke line, which is what that is. Again its a an exaggeration. and i don't understand the wallet line at all, just sounds like a big up line. you should drop some more stuff you've written in this style (in the open mic) and people can give you feedback.
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