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week 5 (spume)

Printed From: Lyrical Assault
Category: Archive Forums
Forum Name: Wicked WordSmiths
Forum Description: .
URL: http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=21667
Printed Date: 27 March 2026 at 6:28am


Topic: week 5 (spume)
Posted By: spume corrupt
Subject: week 5 (spume)
Date Posted: 26 June 2011 at 10:56pm


Spume accumulates mo’ dough wit da stash a- pot- he- cary
got me an English flower, like mo’ rose, type ya gotta marry
marvel at this wordplay, pick up a pen- an- ce  that ya done! Spent
I’m an English man that’s mastered this shit, call me the pun- gent
I punch men clean off the demographic, demented an past disabled
kick ya fuckin bums all around town if  U- n- ass- ai- lable
I stay tenacious with the dissin make ya ear hole feel raped
Digging up dirt fa wat I need like an Aardvark, leaving ya 0- scill- ate


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Replies:
Posted By: Manc
Date Posted: 27 June 2011 at 1:47am
Done in 8 lines. The first 2 bars were stupidly clever. Especially the penance/pungent bar.

This has gotta be a 10 from me.


Posted By: Kid Kane
Date Posted: 27 June 2011 at 4:37am
yea nice way of dividing up those syllabuls to make a good play on words, maybe its cuz im young but some of them didnt make sense to me. Oh well still good short verse


Posted By: spume corrupt
Date Posted: 27 June 2011 at 6:41am
Lol thanks 4 da feed Kane
But this is a game mate an not exactly how I write, we got certain rules to follow.               (Get involved it will do ya good)
People will feed an rate your performance an you will be obliged to return
Its Cuba' lil weekly word play number= Word drop
None the less good to see you feeding somethin

Ps if yo would like ta feed an OPEN MIC ov mine you will find one in da OPEN MIC section
Unsurprisingly
Cheers

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Posted By: spume corrupt
Date Posted: 01 July 2011 at 5:10pm
Anything on this peeps

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Posted By: J504
Date Posted: 01 July 2011 at 7:03pm
This was real nice right here, I like the way you worded alot of this especially- "pun-gent" and "pen-an-ce". I think a few words were a bit more of a stretch for what you were trying to do here, but this was still hella nice! = 9.5


Posted By: Cuba
Date Posted: 02 July 2011 at 10:22am
Can't decide between a 9 and a 9.5...so 9.25, some of the wordplay was top quality, others were stretched...actually, I'm going to bump you up to a 9.5 for the approach to it.

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