- Changes -
Printed From: Lyrical Assault
Category: Emcee Lounge
Forum Name: Open Mic
Forum Description: This isnt a Battle Board, this is for your Freestyle Verses to be Rated by other members.
URL: http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=21773
Printed Date: 27 March 2026 at 2:30am
Topic: - Changes -
Posted By: J504
Subject: - Changes -
Date Posted: 08 August 2011 at 7:21pm
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It's hard to see your youth fade away when every day is your last-
chance to celebrate the way you hated your past The first dog you ever owned - tryin' to bury him was hard Sleepin' in a bed at night while he's just bones in your yard Junior High then High School - yea the pressure was there The best times of your life but yet the pleasure was rare It's hard to care about good grades or cutting your hair When every choice you ever made has left things up in the air True friends not so true - real life not so real Looking forward to a dream job and then the nightmare of bills As a young man made bad choices you thought were so right Grounded in reality - while your minds given flight Saw your mom battle Cancer - the saddest of years While remission played its hide & seek- your Dad hid his tears You faced your fears by not facing your fears Replaced what's dear with the taste of your beers Shots heard, shots served - while you wait for that "one day" Dreaded Sunday cause of Monday when you know there's more gunplay Learned the love of your life was just a sniper in hiding cut up her credit cards - so now it's Swiper no swiping A kid on the way, so there's no use in this griping Times change, you change diapers...so frightening |
Replies:
Posted By: TURTLE
Date Posted: 08 August 2011 at 8:26pm
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You see the old way wasent workin' so its on us to do what we gotta do to survive! *Tupac Shakur.. CHANGES This reminded me a little bit of Tupacs changes not that you took his lyrics because these are clearly your own!! I enjoyed this part here.. Shots heard, shots served - while you wait for that "one day" Dreaded Sunday cause of Monday when you know there's more gunplay Learned the love of your life was just a sniper in hiding cut up her credit cards - so now it's Swiper no swiping A kid on the way, so there's no use in this griping Times change, you change diapers...so frightening The ending really picked up for me, I wish you went a few more bars to see where it could have gone. Nevertheless dope piece J5!!! -------------  <ce
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Posted By: Manc
Date Posted: 10 August 2011 at 12:41am
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hahaha!!! Loved this. The whole drop was tight but I had a few fave lines that I'll focus on - cuz they were all so different to eachother one. firstly - True friends not so true - real life not so real Looking forward to a dream job and then the nightmare of bills ^^^^ I loved the first line of this. The way it was worded hit the nail right on the head - and the second line brought out the true life realization side of things. Vey very clever articulation with this part J. Secondly - Saw your mom battle Cancer - the saddest of years While remission played its hide & seek- your Dad hid his tears ^^^^^ This part gave me goosebumps - and to think ONE LINE could do that to the reader? Sheesh! Again - the wording ere was fantastic. I know you well - but I don't know if this is truth or made up for the feel of the verse. Either way - you got me with that line. And last but not least - Learned the love of your life was just a sniper in hiding cut up her credit cards - so now it's Swiper no swiping ^^^^^ hahahaha! theres the humour! Spot on with this bar J. Yea I watch Dora with my youngest - he likes to repeat the Spanish shit they teach ya. So I got this perfectly. I thought it was really clever the way you linked the character 'Swiper', who always hides so that he can ambush Dora (hence the sniper in hiding bit) - with the cliche of gold digger girls who live off other peoples credit cards. And then throwing in the Dora phrase "Swiper - no swiping"  Subtle, but very clever. Out of the 3, this was probly my favourite bar. The rest was really decent too - so it aint like I only liked them 3 bars. They were jus the stand-out ones IMO. Yet another great drop from you - and another brilliant example of why you're my favourite writer. |
Posted By: J504
Date Posted: 10 August 2011 at 4:29pm
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Much appreciated on the feed, Turtle & Manc! It always makes it worthwhile to see how well crew gets what I'm writing and can feel where I'm coming from. I think how active we are on collabs really does gives us that type of insight. I never read stuff yall write and say "huh?" it's almost always like yall read my mind lol. So yeah, thanks for them comments, they are very encouraging as always.
Thanks kid, I'm glad you liked that actually. Perhaps a bit cryptic and easy to take out of context as I've worded it, but if you're willing to think outside of the box, that was the most honest bar in the whole verse, believe it or not.
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Manc wrote:Posted By: spume corrupt
Date Posted: 10 August 2011 at 6:56pm
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Swiper no Swiping Swiper no Swiping
I love! an I mean LOVE the way that fox dude says "Ohh Mayn" My lil girl does a perfect mimic, too cute This Felt like a rough guide ta growing up or sumthin Touching on some ov the harsh realities that are reality itself That's what I got from this anywayz A real nice drop J....Good ups my man Enjoyed the read -------------  |