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Pandemonium

Printed From: Lyrical Assault
Category: Emcee Lounge
Forum Name: Open Mic
Forum Description: This isnt a Battle Board, this is for your Freestyle Verses to be Rated by other members.
URL: http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=29644
Printed Date: 27 March 2026 at 5:44am


Topic: Pandemonium
Posted By: Concrete
Subject: Pandemonium
Date Posted: 10 January 2014 at 9:06pm
without any warning the faint noobs emerged
truly worthless crude worms tainting the pure earth
we must instigate the purge, precipitate a rebirth
felicitate our leaders
what a novelty tale of loyalty & betrayal
the holy grail overflowed from all souls overthrown
overall, overlords holds the throne over all
oh behold, a legion of ludicrous losers on a warpath
a disturbance in the force was forecast 
witnessing all that shiny and fictitious bling
glistening under the moonlight is a spooky sight 
we detect them within grim and gloomy nights
a band of dabblers and dilettantes, riding together for the creed, attacking
in a wave of bloody teenage faces, breaking out from the red sea of Acne 
meagerly rapping, moaning and groaning
chinless creatures chased by their own shadows, squealing in the mist
deceived by whispers, twisted dream eclipsers, seal them with a diss
acknowledged trash-talk rap-lords stands back all appalled  
as the lyrical assualt from false cults descends
stemming from a living hell, reppin' it to the bitter end
situation critical, luckily the citadel have sentinel MCs that can spit again
war of words at it's pinnacle, the battlefield scenery is splendid
relentless, the hellbent pretenders definitely surrenders
only one chapter, bones fracture as we own and capture
maintain high positions like cold stoned statues
all captured is suffering, from severe inabilty
the remaining intruders is ushered to a near facility 
for medical tests, is it ethical? yes
we may take a tenable guess
that the examiners might find a cure against this terrible pest



Replies:
Posted By: U.N.L.M.
Date Posted: 10 January 2014 at 10:29pm
Loved the first three lines of this and I'm a pretty huge fan of this drop overall as well...this set was particularly tight as well:

"the holy grail overflowed from all souls overthrown
overall, overlords holds the throne over all"

Thought high positions/stoned statues was real nice and I liked the teenage face/sea of acne imagery. This was a real good drop. Good to see you dropping again. 


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Posted By: RedNosePit
Date Posted: 11 January 2014 at 12:50am
This was some really excellent writing if you ask me.
I like that you use a good combination of alliteration and some assonance throughout it.
I really don't have a negative to say...

deceived by whispers, twisted dream eclipsers, seal them with a diss
↑Fire ass line
Dope.

I will keep an eye out for you


Posted By: Concrete
Date Posted: 11 January 2014 at 1:36pm
Thanx for checking out n commenting guys, I'll get back to you.


Posted By: Nigma
Date Posted: 11 January 2014 at 4:49pm
I enjoy the direction your style is progressing. Your poetic and abstract wording and descriptions really give your writing a sense of personal flare. The teenage faces line was memorable as was the overlord set and a few others. On smart phone in bed typing witj one eye open so can't quote and not even looking back over the piece but after reading it I was left satisfied. Id say the general route for progression ia flow THEN content but I feel you are doing the opposite. Although it read fine the biggest areas of improvement for you could come wiyh rhyme complexity as you have a high level grasp on literary devices and, building on concepts, and keeping the reader entertained. Another nice piece from you sir

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Posted By: Concrete
Date Posted: 11 January 2014 at 7:44pm
preciate the feed nigma, yeah, every drop is basicly an experiment


Posted By: Brotha Goose
Date Posted: 12 January 2014 at 8:18pm
Damn son! When you gonna put yur application in? Yur SYN material, join the fam already
This was dope, dudes be sleep'n on you.....

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Posted By: Concrete
Date Posted: 13 January 2014 at 12:12pm
thanx BG, and I hear ya




Posted By: Titu
Date Posted: 14 January 2014 at 10:58am
Aye- my man..

It was really dope tbh.. much of the things aRe already said but i specifically want to give you props on the elevation. Your drops have poetic vibe to it which makes them go alive. Really impressive work, fam.
Good shit.
5 stars from me..

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Fuck That Fat smelly cunt Donald Trump, a racist asshole who is fucked in the head.




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