[R1-B7] Hex vs Trizzy Tre
Printed From: Lyrical Assault
Category: Tournament Boards
Forum Name: Urban Legends
Forum Description: New Topical Tournament
URL: http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32267
Printed Date: 27 March 2026 at 2:29am
Topic: [R1-B7] Hex vs Trizzy Tre
Posted By: Scotty32
Subject: [R1-B7] Hex vs Trizzy Tre
Date Posted: 22 May 2014 at 8:18pm
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Rules 16 - 24 Lines Deadline: 29th May 2014 at 8:00pm BST (GMT + 1) No extensions will be given - Late Entry = DQ Verses to be posted in this thread Crew Votes Allowed Participant Voting Allowed Topic Witnessing a car accident
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Replies:
Posted By: hex
Date Posted: 24 May 2014 at 9:45pm
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''You might be sitting in between us, but your soul is somewhere else. And if you keep worshipin' them bosses, you'll get stuck in their hells'' . The last thing I remember before she died with no goodbyes nor farewells. My wife , my love , my every thing just left us all alone by our selves. 3 years has passed so far, n'as I'm talkin' on the phone I saw my daughter. Rushin' at me with a drawing in her hand ''daddy look !, leave that caller . See I put us back together, you me mommy n'conor one next to each other''. '' baby can't you see I'm busy, why don't you go show it to your brother'' . '' but daddy, he's not home, he went with his friends with a bag of sugar'' . I kept talking on my phone, didn't realize my son became a drug dealer. The mail was all messages from his teacher, saying that he's a cheater. That he skips the school daily, and he doesn't respect the law either. I added the school in my schedule to check up things tomorrow. No, you can't be serious, my car's died now I have a bus to follow. As I got to my station, left the bus and rushed to catch things up. I saw a speeding car on the road went so fast and brings a jump. It hits a mini-van and splits it badly with all the kids inside. Blood was on thier faces as they screamed and so loudly cried. Their father was badly injured, and the high driver simply died. At that moment all I thought was conor drivin' recklessly. Druged behind the wheel endin' his life and mine carelessly. And my daughter would grow up, and hate me endlessly. I throw my phone and ran to my kids school tryin to do the right. I hope I make it, I wish to save the last gleam in thier sight. |
Posted By: Trizzy Tre
Date Posted: 29 May 2014 at 3:52pm
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“She’s a jerk!” words yelled to his wife referencing his step daughter… Stretching for an early jog he exclaims “to her, I’m always a good father!” Sunrise disguised as a new day, another beautiful morning… His shoes? Nike size 11, always cross fit performing… Soaring through crisp air, a fair day with just a touch of breeze… Running through the town, proud of his 4 miles a day with ease.. The trees shade parts of his path, optimistic of how today feels… Then a man yells “LOOK OUT”, followed by sketching that portrayed wheels Quick glimpse over his shoulder it appears a Range Rover sways wildly At first it all seemed to happen so slow and quietly… His eyes focus the Range, it drives into another vehicle like its driving mean… It collides directly with a car full of teenage girls field hockey team! Sticks flying free from the shattered glass that shines in the sky over.. Range skids n hits a telephone pole flipped past a baby stroller Trying to process the actions that just took place… Look down at a victim and it’s a familiar face… My daughter sliced in two, later pronounced dead at the scene… Reminiscing on her life, she’s gone but will always be my queen…. I mean shit this had to happen, bitch you were my only funding option… For daddy’s alcohol and gambling addition problems… I”ve hit rock bottom, it was all a set up, seeing dollar signs multiplied… 60 days your insurance check clears, car crash coverage policy qualifies… ………its a homicide so I always hoped she’d die!
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Posted By: Rapper T
Date Posted: 30 May 2014 at 9:34am
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hex the fullstops weren't necessary on every line in that battle, the end of your verse felt like it trailed off and sort of looked like it in the structure. Sugar didn't rhyme for me with brother or dealer and although you included some of the topic in your verse, your focus was quite far outside the car crash for most of the bars, more descriptiveness and creative multies in your verse would be good to see as well as like punches or fluid storyline to spit topical Trizzy Tre that classic topical flip line at the end of the verse worked well, added the x factor. Your verse had less buildup and more focus on the topic, your rhymes didn't rhyme in some places like daughter father, over stroller but you had some multies in there, would be good to see more inner rhymes built in too. You wrote yours more descriptively though and the flow to the verse was good MVGT Trizzy Tre
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Posted By: Kiki Spirez
Date Posted: 30 May 2014 at 9:43am
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MVGT- Tre. Hex- I liked your verse, and it wasn't too far behind Tre's in a lot of aspects, but there were some strengths of his that put his verse just above your reach. For positives, I liked your flow, your wording was pretty spot on tbh. And I liked your narrative. However, your rhyming was pretty simplistic compared to Tre's, and at times, the dialogue you included made the verse a bit, 'he said/she said', rather than concentrating on painting the picture. Tre- Standard verse from you here, always impressive. What you had over Hex, was a smoother integration of dialogue in to the rhymes, and also a use of internals. Internals take a verse on to that next level, and it made the difference here in my opinion. Props to both though, Hex was by no means weak. ------------- http://media.photobucket.com/user/Seinamies/media/Big-Dilla-Cover-web.jpg.html" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: SwordedStylez
Date Posted: 30 May 2014 at 11:13am
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Hex - first off you use way too many words in each bar, you'd need an extra half a bar (a bar is a line in music) to actually fit them on a beat, unfortunately I've never heard rap in 6/4 or 7/4 time so it possibly could work on a beat, but it'd be weird sounding. Unfortunately this is further compounded with bad wording choices which at times make you sound a little like Yoda, the words are often the wrong way round and not natural sounded, this stunts a lot of the flow and makes it less fluid. Topically I didn't think you stayed much on topic, this was about a car crash and you spent a whole bunch of time on your backstory that made your topic incoherent. You show that you can develop a story though so it's not all bad, you need to try and "power word" more. Use less words to make it snappier and stay more concise with your subject matter. Tre - It's instantly obvious that you've been doing this a while. Your flow is basic, but it's mostly on point and fits over a beat well. Again at times your wording is stunted/forced which is making your flow a little clumsy and you suffer from Yoda speak too, though on a much less noticeable level. You used the topic well and developed your ideas creatively, again better wording in places would've added more clarity to the story and strengthened the topic but you worked it well enough. I would've enjoyed more complex rhyme schemes as that is an element of a verse that I enjoy but you did enough to take this. My Vote - Tre. |
Posted By: Scotty32
Date Posted: 31 May 2014 at 2:52pm
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3 KO to Trizzy Tre, he's through to the next round ------------- |