word drop stuck
Printed From: Lyrical Assault
Category: Emcee Lounge
Forum Name: Open Mic
Forum Description: This isnt a Battle Board, this is for your Freestyle Verses to be Rated by other members.
URL: http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=43659
Printed Date: 27 March 2026 at 4:57am
Topic: word drop stuck
Posted By: HI-Z
Subject: word drop stuck
Date Posted: 31 August 2016 at 12:26pm
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Flow as smooth as colostrum Ephemeral bars with calcium Ruminant truth laced wisdom Fabricate spurious hate prism Prevents a nascent image Pantomime defines blurred lines Proclivity precludes the design Farrago is my favorite movie of all time. Give us harder words for our next rhyme |
Replies:
Posted By: Crimson Juice
Date Posted: 31 August 2016 at 8:27pm
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lol..(give us harder words next time).I liked this piece overall with the short lines.kind of seems your trade mark now.I also thought you flow to be good too.you did well to make these words blend to an extent.the pantomime line was nice.again a few words that read volumes.I liked your approach with your drops.this ones no different in that sense.I thought you gave this a good shot. i believe you might even be in the running with this verse.all in a decent attempt for me..peace. ------------- "You need to learn how to make an exit, before you can dare make an entrance". |
Posted By: Konflict
Date Posted: 31 August 2016 at 10:17pm
| It was short and simple but it worked really well. It didn't come off as forced, it just seemed like these were random words you chose to use yourself. Good work Z |
Posted By: alicewonder
Date Posted: 31 August 2016 at 10:36pm
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Not sure if I've read anything from you so far but this was pretty nice! I enjoyed the rather short line lenght and some of the incorporations, like the "nascent image" one were worded in a rather interesting way. The rhythmic pattern seemed slightly off in some of the opening lines, but it was kinda minor. Good work overall! |
Posted By: HI-Z
Date Posted: 01 September 2016 at 3:12am
| Thank you guys, I do feel as though I missed out on an opportunity to call this one word drop sicks lol but for the most I think I came out okay. And I did have an internal debate about droping an as and changing the first line to flows smooth as colostrum, but decied against it lol. |
Posted By: Droidian
Date Posted: 01 September 2016 at 6:02am
lol...allright I'll wear it. ..but how 'bout you use the words in a manner that doesn't read like the most obtuse Allen Ginsberg poetry...😉 but in all seriousness i think you did a pretty good job of associating ideas into an abstract presentation. it's very unique as an approach here. -------------  |
HI-Z wrote: