Altering Egos (Diss)
Printed From: Lyrical Assault
Category: Emcee Lounge
Forum Name: Open Mic
Forum Description: This isnt a Battle Board, this is for your Freestyle Verses to be Rated by other members.
URL: http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=44356
Printed Date: 27 March 2026 at 4:57am
Topic: Altering Egos (Diss)
Posted By: Lord Puente
Subject: Altering Egos (Diss)
Date Posted: 02 January 2017 at 6:11am
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ain't no ability in A.E., these noobs too new to site at least that's what these fools crew's recruitments like worried about losing the few you liked, yea, you were right you lost Sky cuz he was first to finish my http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/the-manual_topic44247.html" rel="nofollow - User's Guide your group should die, inexperienced minds too weak to know what http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/coming-soon-the-la-crewsades_topic43415.html?KW=crewsades" rel="nofollow - Crewsades were like pull the trigger like Hitler and commit suicide get wiped off the earth like the States did Third Reich surprised at the white light, did you think you would survive well shit, look at the bright side, this was your biggest highlight maybe some will remember you, reincarnate the group start fresh with new members after the trash is removed but with your current route, your destined to lose century old hoarders don't have as much http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/crews/alter-egos-52/" rel="nofollow - shit accrued how can you succeed when your own leaders noob and yall just got ethered by a guy who features food - -------------  |
Replies:
Posted By: d0pe!
Date Posted: 02 January 2017 at 8:17am
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The size of the bars imply that you wrote to beat?(At least to me) If not, i still tried to read as if it had a cadence with it. IMO it helped the piece. The first quatrain was simple, plain and to the point. I feel as if you couldve gone a little harder here, but i do see the effectiveness of essentially 'sonning' them by referencing your Users Guide. 2nd quatrain, first couplet was a clear personal, the 2nd couplet, im not sure if im missing a personal reference here, but i felt as if they were kindve throwaway bars. 3 quatrain, these 4 bars are my fave. love the rhyme scheme, the first bars implication to death is very nice, and just continued to pour on the hate with the following 3 4 quatrain, nice and clear closer. very well surmises the entire piece and concludes it nicely. In the future, when i get a little more versed on the site, ill start up a rating system of 1-10. With that said, not bad, i do like the fact its kindve serious but kindve light at the same time. Keep up the hard work. Also, id love to see a reply from one of them or all?
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Posted By: HI-Z
Date Posted: 02 January 2017 at 8:58am
| Lol, I'm not a battle rapper but I'll post a reply. |
Posted By: Lord Puente
Date Posted: 02 January 2017 at 4:49pm
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D0pe, actually, I did not write to a beat. I'm just very picky with my syllable count in order to keep the flows slick and effortless. That's for the feed. Hi-z it don't matter, always good to branch out and try sometimhing out of the norm. This was more directed at slip n s Dubb since they had something to say bout sky and had some shots fired in general. ------------- |
Posted By: HI-Z
Date Posted: 02 January 2017 at 4:59pm
| it just seemed like your reply was aimed at all of us, and it was well written too lol. Props on the response time also. |
Posted By: Trizzy Tre
Date Posted: 02 January 2017 at 5:12pm
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Yo L.P. this was a decent diss... You had some OK jabs throughout the verse, but a few fell flat. No real highlight haymakers but overall the diss was effective. The opener made me laugh a little lol and you brought in some nice personal shots at the crew. Not sure if you just wanted to fire shots off or something was stemming from it, but overall it was decent. -------------  |
Posted By: AxyRocker
Date Posted: 02 January 2017 at 6:03pm
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I smell beef ! ain't no ability in A.E., these noobs too new to site at least that's what these fools crew's recruitments like worried about losing the few you liked, yea, you were right you lost Sky cuz he was first to finish my http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/the-manual_topic44247.html" rel="nofollow - User's Guide Decent-ish concept was cool with why sky left that crew but could've been executed better, maybe drop some wordplays in or something. your group should die, inexperienced minds too weak to know what http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/coming-soon-the-la-crewsades_topic43415.html?KW=crewsades" rel="nofollow - Crewsades were like pull the trigger like Hitler and commit suicide get wiped off the earth like the States did Third Reich LMAO ! I liked the Crewsades concept, but I think you used it 1-2 too and no it kinda seems played cuz of that. Suicide thing was sheer hatred nothing too witty but raw hatred and that is good kinda sets the tone. surprised at the white light, did you think you would survive well shit, look at the bright side, this was your biggest highlight maybe some will remember you, reincarnate the group start fresh with new members after the trash is removed Whaddya mean they can't just remove their leader! lol , I see you sacrificed your rhymes here for the content and that works as long as its not much and the punches are at point. but with your current route, your destined to lose century old hoarders don't have as much http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/crews/alter-egos-52/" rel="nofollow - shit accrued how can you succeed when your own leaders noob and yall just got ethered by a guy who features food Lmao you food fag! I just had this feeling in my gut that you were gonna refer that food stuff. Overall decent diss, could've taken more time as this in some parts felt rushed and not well focused so you can work on that . -------------  |
Posted By: Crimson Juice
Date Posted: 02 January 2017 at 7:49pm
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lol...im not here to fuel beef,but i'll still give you honest feedback.. Firstly I really did like the Zulu insert (it made me chuckle),the title itself I thought was decent too,this piece did have some highlights here,like Sky finishing your user's guide, and the Hitler line,you was however inaccurate about the states defeating the Third Riech,it was a world war,plus the Russian turned them over in truth as they started to get their act together,this verse had some nice jabs to be honest,nothing to hard hitting though but cute all the same,overall I liked it really,and there's a bonus to be had in shaking things up,the by product is more activity,(BL3 gonna be good I feel),so for you here I say well done,ballsy move but played well..peace. ------------- "You need to learn how to make an exit, before you can dare make an entrance". |
Posted By: Slip
Date Posted: 02 January 2017 at 7:51pm
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TBH alot of played out angles and nothin hit hard at all i must say the flow is decent but no real damge done over this way i just replied http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/lord-p-diss-reply_topic44362.html" rel="nofollow - with a verse instead of that chit chat crap
------------- See no evil speak no evil silent echo alter ego inner demon violent beast so warn the mother fucking people |
Posted By: Cuba
Date Posted: 02 January 2017 at 8:15pm
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Unless it's a cypher (or intended as one) then don't post verses in Open Mic...you've got a separate thread for that already. I've changed that to a link, so people can be redirected to the response if they want to view the ongoing saga/beef/exchange. Any issue, either use the general board or PM me. ------------- 
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Posted By: Lord Puente
Date Posted: 02 January 2017 at 8:24pm
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thanks for the feed peeps, yea not my usual. but hey, why not branch out every so often. and to cuba, thanks for "protrolling" as someone else put it. ------------- |
Posted By: d0pe!
Date Posted: 02 January 2017 at 8:28pm
| See, and now knowing thats how you write, i wish i knew what cadence you had it in. Naahmean? |
Posted By: S Dubb
Date Posted: 02 January 2017 at 11:16pm
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L.P I'm sorry but I've seen better from you.... This wasn't that great, no real solid punchlines just a bunch of jabs.... Started off slow, but then you picked it up, sad thing is not even a diss came to you, but I will post a reply in just a bit..... Overall this wasn't one of your better verses..... Nothing that shocked and awe, just a jab here and a jab there..... ------------- Topical Twist League= 1-0 1-2 Punch League= 0-3 Regular Text= 0-1 Alias= 0-1 Topical= 1-0 Horrorcore= 1-0 Overall= 3-5 |
Posted By: Lord Puente
Date Posted: 03 January 2017 at 1:02am
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thanks for the feed ------------- |
Posted By: Rutter knows best
Date Posted: 03 January 2017 at 3:48am
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i can only echo what people have said with it woud work well on a beat and you could of come with more punchlines. It was a clean diss peace and i thought the angles were pretty on point. I felt the clowning from the meme and it rolled on nicely through the first two sections. Overall my favorite of the current on goings so far
------------- #bananas 
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