Print Page | Close Window

IC2 Round Two: Battler 8 vs Battler 9 [8 WIns]

Printed From: Lyrical Assault
Category: Tournament Boards
Forum Name: Identity Crisis 2
Forum Description: Identity Crisis Tournament
URL: http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=44789
Printed Date: 27 March 2026 at 2:58am


Topic: IC2 Round Two: Battler 8 vs Battler 9 [8 WIns]
Posted By: The Law
Subject: IC2 Round Two: Battler 8 vs Battler 9 [8 WIns]
Date Posted: 10 April 2017 at 7:24pm
Identity Crisis: Round 2

- 20-60 Lines 
- Best of 7.
- Battlers will be anonymous- Votes will be hidden.
- Wednesday April 19th, Midnight UK time
http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/about/" rel="nofollow - Check your time here

TOPIC

 In the link below is your topic/round theme.

http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/identity-crisis-2-round-2-rules-discussion_topic44780.html#459068" rel="nofollow - Click Here


-------------
Go my Minions!


Replies:
Posted By: The Law
Date Posted: 20 April 2017 at 1:34pm
Battler 8



"Plum Island"


(Green Port High School) 

I've been into nature since I had my glasses taped-
I never asked for hate,  from my classless mates-
But I was a pushover until they cracked or break-
They laughed at Jake, Never got asked for dates-
Had the underwear pulled up from my crack to waist-
Now that I'm older there's a everlasting taste-
That saturates, the masquerade that is my mask less face-
I felt like a type of icing over a plastic cake-
They won't get a 'piece of me' even if my casket breaks-
Always kept to myself, So why must they follow me?-
Studied health, not to mention A plus in Biology-
Got accepted to every school, as it gave me a positive core-
Having dinner with my parents as I heard a knock on the door-
Dad let them in as their feet fell like rocks on the floor-
I was at the banister listenin'n like there's a possible war-
They said my intelligence passed that of an average human-
But if I went with them the family would have a lavish movement-
Have our famished loosened, Eat what we want plus lack the gluten-
Absolutely! At 18 I studied Plum Island, I went off the deep end-
Chemically and surgically hurting animals... but had off the Weekends-
For years I did this testing,  With  No need for nonsense-
A demon breathes in my deepened conscience, mentally I had a secret project-.......

I'm suppose to inject a dog with a new type of medicine-
But I'm using my OWN elixir and my minds insight on fetishes-
My brain is a safe I keep all my past remnants in-
This monster I create will disintegrate all the detriments-
No longer tentative, I stole classified Government ingredients- 
They will never know because of all my coveted obedience-
I took the vials and I shoved em in some fetuses-
That were used up, just a bunch of duds we shoved needles in-
At first the dog would be infected and get more vicious-
Then he started getting bigger so I'd inject more sickness-
Hormones with tenacity that were derived from a shark-
Thats what drew me to this chemical  igniting a spark-
I'll release this beast full grown at night when its dark-
Unleash on Greenport the town I've had right in my  mark-
I didn't think this would work I admit I had doubts-
But I see this monster as the venom drips from his mouth-
The deadly growling noise as he sniffs from his snout-
Can't wait till he rips thru a crowd, without missing his route-
Like a Wide Receiver never fizzling out, leavin' souls kissin'n the clouds-
Family left rigid and foul, Fuck em cus this is the now!

Everyone left for the night, I grab his cage with the forklift-
Place it on my boat as he's mixed with a rage that is morbid-
Heading to Greenport as my timing is laced with importance-
He stands 8 feet tall 400 pounds and can taste the assortment-
Of people with bikinis and skin that is caked in an ointment-
The sun is up I stop the boat 100 yards from the beach-
He's snarling his teeth, I'm in Awe of the gnarliest beast-
Pardon to me, but do they know their just a parcel of meat-
That he'll harvest with ease, This beast will start at the feet-
Until he moves to the organs making it harder to breathe-
Open the cage as he swims in the water moving farther with ease-
A shark with a breeze onto the beach as I see the harmony breached-
Screaming bloody murder with a arm in his teeth-
So much harm in his reach- They should start alarming the streets-
Hes magnificent! Dead children with blood soaked hand rattles-
Revenge on ignorance, Slaughtered kids on broken sand castles-
Screaming parents I can almost taste the tears in their eyes-
I knew I'd get my revenge but had to take the weirdest disguise-
I released myself in this beast as these victims reach the end-
I believe my revenge is ceased but who's the beast,  Me or him?....


-------------
Go my Minions!

Posted By: The Law
Date Posted: 20 April 2017 at 1:34pm
Battler 9



Abomination of a species, that plays no hand for the Damned 

Loved or Refused no demon or vampire can change who i am

My mother's a whore that let Satan get in her pants

Im alone with no home, its just me & my blood thirst 

Cold nights are when my throat will hurt the worst 

By dawn you'll be resting in the back of your hurse  

I would strip mortals of their flesh feasting in delight 

My Toxins Rush despite some who would show me some fight

That suddenley changed when i met her one faiteful night

A human in foresight but an arche angels cousin disguised

She had one green & one Gold eye that she really despised

she knew of my world and had a few gifts of her kind 

One being able to pull the dark in view of the light

We fell in love unable to touch scales to her flesh

My skin burns like acid so we had to do what was best 

We still could fuck, funny and all but i fucked her raw

Dont even know which dick she would end up bouncin up on

Through all the sin within our love was something so pure

I enjoy the evil life but good outshines it in her allure

She had me hooked, i will be the first one to admit it 

Bitch had me sprung since the first time that i hit it

She pulled me in smooth, no idea soon id be finished 

Unbeknownst to me these demons & Vamps had a hit-list 

My name written up above all the victims they listed

One dark night we were fucking, she was screaming out 

Then next minute her face morphed & she grew a snout! 

I saw her big white fangs quickly shoot out her mouth 

She then proceeded with her attempt to take me out 

Then a loud crack echoed above as the clouds parted ways 

The sight so magnificent i cant find the words to explain

Her cousin the arch angel then began his descent 

He said he had a gift for me if i choose to repent 

He told of how god had been watching me from up above 

He said he will bless me because my heart could feel love

Noticed cause' of the cousins Aura "Aurora i am so disappointed!"

"Taking Bribes to end lives, but since birth you were Anointed" 

"Your wreaking evil in this world and i've been sent to destroy it!"

He hit her with a beam of light and she disintegrated really quick

Her Limbs & skin exploded, it covered me slick and made me feel sick 

Then he turned to me and said "you must accept Jesus to receive this" 

"If you do i will turn you into a human being!" i couldn't believe it! 

I nodded my head in acceptance, and he put a hand to my forehead 

Everything started to spin and for a second i thought i was dead

I awoke naked in the forest as a normal person, no more half breed 

I was also blessed with protection from those that were after me 

A monster turned to a mortal with a story that ended so happily



-------------
Go my Minions!

Posted By: Crimson Juice
Date Posted: 20 April 2017 at 8:21pm
Battler 8.


"Plum Island"



(Green Port High School)


I've been into nature since I had my glasses taped-

I never asked for hate, from my classless mates-

But I was a pushover until they cracked or break-

They laughed at Jake, Never got asked for dates-

Had the underwear pulled up from my crack to waist-

Now that I'm older there's a everlasting taste-

That saturates, the masquerade that is my mask less face-

I felt like a type of icing over a plastic cake-

They won't get a 'piece of me' even if my casket breaks-

Always kept to myself, So why must they follow me?-

Studied health, not to mention A plus in Biology-

Got accepted to every school, as it gave me a positive core-

Having dinner with my parents as I heard a knock on the door-

Dad let them in as their feet fell like rocks on the floor-

I was at the banister listenin'n like there's a possible war-

They said my intelligence passed that of an average human-

But if I went with them the family would have a lavish movement-

Have our famished loosened, Eat what we want plus lack the gluten-

Absolutely! At 18 I studied Plum Island, I went off the deep end-

Chemically and surgically hurting animals... but had off the Weekends-

For years I did this testing, With No need for nonsense-

A demon breathes in my deepened conscience, mentally I had a secret project-.......


I'm suppose to inject a dog with a new type of medicine-

But I'm using my OWN elixir and my minds insight on fetishes-

My brain is a safe I keep all my past remnants in-

This monster I create will disintegrate all the detriments-

No longer tentative, I stole classified Government ingredients-

They will never know because of all my coveted obedience-

I took the vials and I shoved em in some fetuses-

That were used up, just a bunch of duds we shoved needles in-

At first the dog would be infected and get more vicious-

Then he started getting bigger so I'd inject more sickness-

Hormones with tenacity that were derived from a shark-

Thats what drew me to this chemical igniting a spark-

I'll release this beast full grown at night when its dark-

Unleash on Greenport the town I've had right in my mark-

I didn't think this would work I admit I had doubts-

But I see this monster as the venom drips from his mouth-

The deadly growling noise as he sniffs from his snout-

Can't wait till he rips thru a crowd, without missing his route-

Like a Wide Receiver never fizzling out, leavin' souls kissin'n the clouds-

Family left rigid and foul, Fuck em cus this is the now!


Everyone left for the night, I grab his cage with the forklift-

Place it on my boat as he's mixed with a rage that is morbid-

Heading to Greenport as my timing is laced with importance-

He stands 8 feet tall 400 pounds and can taste the assortment-

Of people with bikinis and skin that is caked in an ointment-

The sun is up I stop the boat 100 yards from the beach-

He's snarling his teeth, I'm in Awe of the gnarliest beast-

Pardon to me, but do they know their just a parcel of meat-

That he'll harvest with ease, This beast will start at the feet-

Until he moves to the organs making it harder to breathe-

Open the cage as he swims in the water moving farther with ease-

A shark with a breeze onto the beach as I see the harmony breached-

Screaming bloody murder with a arm in his teeth-

So much harm in his reach- They should start alarming the streets-

Hes magnificent! Dead children with blood soaked hand rattles-

Revenge on ignorance, Slaughtered kids on broken sand castles-

Screaming parents I can almost taste the tears in their eyes-

I knew I'd get my revenge but had to take the weirdest disguise-

I released myself in this beast as these victims reach the end-

I believe my revenge is ceased but who's the beast, Me or him?....

(well well well, if this ain't a peach of a verse, i liked the rhyme scheme here and the
mechanics in this piece, using the same sounding vowels and a few multi's thrown in
for good measure made this flow with ease on reading,the details within was nicely
played and subtle but with depth entow,and the wording was quite eloquent really,
my 1st impression was a multitude of beast,Joesf Menegele/Jeckle and Hide/
Werewolf,even a Reptilian at one point with the Venom inclusion,but all along you were
in essence Frankenstien, this beast became the extention of your tormented yrs,pretty
much a Vengence scenario like in Marvel,then you let the Beast loose,the Beast you
created from twisted hate and genetics,and that's my point,your story telling here was
ripe,vivid and fresh in angles and slants,it was also gripping on reading,it was a pacey
read due to the content and rhyme schemes which I only touched upon earlier,it shows
a good depth in vocab too,it also had the added bonus of reading at a constant too,via
the progression of this boy/man character,it had a point of origin and an outcome,
(which is in tune with the story is going to be messy and gorey),a well written and good
polished verse..)




Battler 9

Abomination of a species, that plays no hand for the Damned
Loved or Refused no demon or vampire can change who i am
My mother's a whore that let Satan get in her pants
Im alone with no home, its just me & my blood thirst
Cold nights are when my throat will hurt the worst
By dawn you'll be resting in the back of your hurse
I would strip mortals of their flesh feasting in delight
My Toxins Rush despite some who would show me some fight
That suddenley changed when i met her one faiteful night
A human in foresight but an arche angels cousin disguised
She had one green & one Gold eye that she really despised
she knew of my world and had a few gifts of her kind
One being able to pull the dark in view of the light
We fell in love unable to touch scales to her flesh
My skin burns like acid so we had to do what was best
We still could fuck, funny and all but i fucked her raw
Dont even know which dick she would end up bouncin up on
Through all the sin within our love was something so pure
I enjoy the evil life but good outshines it in her allure
She had me hooked, i will be the first one to admit it
Bitch had me sprung since the first time that i hit it
She pulled me in smooth, no idea soon id be finished
Unbeknownst to me these demons & Vamps had a hit-list
My name written up above all the victims they listed
One dark night we were fucking, she was screaming out
Then next minute her face morphed & she grew a snout!
I saw her big white fangs quickly shoot out her mouth
She then proceeded with her attempt to take me out
Then a loud crack echoed above as the clouds parted ways
The sight so magnificent i cant find the words to explain
Her cousin the arch angel then began his descent
He said he had a gift for me if i choose to repent
He told of how god had been watching me from up above
He said he will bless me because my heart could feel love
Noticed cause' of the cousins Aura "Aurora i am so disappointed!"
"Taking Bribes to end lives, but since birth you were Anointed"
"Your wreaking evil in this world and i've been sent to destroy it!"
He hit here with a beam of light and she disintegrated really quick
Her Limbs & skin exploded, it covered me slick and made me feel sick
Then he turned to me and said "you must accept Jesus to receive this"
"If you do i will turn you into a human being!" i couldn't believe it!
I nodded my head in acceptance, and he put a hand to my forehead
Everything started to spin and for a second i thought i was dead
I awoke naked in the forest as a normal person, no more half breed
I was also blessed with protection from those that were after me
A monster turned to a mortal with a story that ended so happily

(I liked how you opened here,came off as poetic in nature,although your rhyme scheme
is basic,(no inner rhymes or multi's as per say),you still managed to keep this flowing
by using end rhymes on each line,i get you had to sacrifice flow in order to go for the
content,and to be honest the story did progress via that course,the effect it did have
though was the read appears to be monotone or flat in parts,still it didn't cause any
serious problems on the whole,your verse came off as a short of reform due to love
rather than an all out horror,but it worked,it actually brought in some depth and
emotion,(never a bad thing),your offering also had a direct tone/nature about it,besides
the character finding love,it stayed pretty much in the same vein in approach via the
before and after vibe,i did however like the twist mid way through about his love,she is
actually the Beast,up until that point I thought the male character would be the one to
morph,then the religious overtones came thick and fast,(Jesus was truly the saviour in
this drop,my gripe is with this piece is rather the lack of monsters,plus the lack of
imagery too,depiction is a great asset to have in topicals,here for the most parts it was
missing,perhaps that's why it felt direct in approach,still an entertaining read with a
good concept..)

Overall good showing ppl,I did enjoy both reads here,very different in subject matter
too,but for me there is a winner,and that was Battler 8,the be is I was feeling his verse
on the whole,he's writing was more to my taste.still props to both for delivering a good
tussle...

Vote...Battler 8...peace.



-------------
"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance".

Posted By: SELF ACTIVATE
Date Posted: 20 April 2017 at 10:02pm
--UPDATED--

B8

This was a dope verse. It reminded be of a B grade horror film from the 80s. The premise was absolutely ridiculous but highly entertaining at the same time. I mean, a sharkdog? Come on, bro. That's so stupid it's dope. Seriously I loved the creativity this verse exuded and also how your words played out like a movie in my mind. You had some really vivid scenes/moments in your piece. For instance, the bit about the G Men showing up at your family's house as you all were having dinner -- that was dope. I also like how your story progressed from being a typical nerd who was picked on in high school, all the way to you becoming a modern day Dr. Moreau hellbent on revenge for how you were treated as a teen. Again, very 80s and very cool. In terms of mechanics I think you did a stellar job. Your verse was fluid, your wording clear, and the flow made for some smooth sailing. Overall, this was one hell of a read, bro. Props.

P.S.; the picture complimented your words perfectly.

B9

This was a nice drop! Your story reminded me of a fantasy based television show. Something to the effect of 'Supernatural' or 'True Blood' ... maybe 'Charmed' (just more R-rated), it had that sort of feel to it. You had a strang mix of characters: half-breeds, vampires, archangels; it all worked tho. The cast meshed well. As for your mechanics ... well, your wording was concise and your flow was pretty solid. However, some areas read a little flat. I mean, you told a sturdy story as a whole, but I can't say you had any stand out moments. In a nutshell your verse was consist, but I wish it would have had more colorful language and flair.

VOTE -- B8[

Good tussle. I think both told interesting stories, but B8's verse was more HD and his plot was more layered and fleshed out.

Posted By: Jay Homicide
Date Posted: 20 April 2017 at 11:04pm
Battler 8:

The technical aspect was pretty decent, though at times I felt like your use of a more compounded vocab actually hurt the flow a little. One or two of the rhymes didn't quite match up either. One of those less is more situations. As for the topic at hand, actually was well done. It was a simple story to follow, but it had a slow build and run through, which is good because a lot of the time people go from 0-100 real quick, and by the 5th bar you've got the entire story basically written out, and they get stuck on where to go. The fact you played it slow allowed you to use more lines, without repeating yourself or stagnating.

Battler 9:

The rhyming was pretty basic in this, and the whole rap part was nothing that was note worthy really, not a technically outstanding piece by any means. The story wasn't brilliant either, a lot of it was just about fucking, and there was no real monster story feel to it. Like you didn't do enough to explain what about the character made him a monster, what he did etc. This one fell flat for me.

MVGT/ Battler 8.

Posted By: Kiki Spirez
Date Posted: 21 April 2017 at 1:18pm

Battler 8:

Your multis and internals were on point in this, really on point. To the point that I was reading thinking, 'this will drift off soon in to something left intricate, or it'll read really forced', but it never did. It was fun to read, with an engaging story. The first few bars were such a strong start, and whilst it didn't get better than that, it set the stall for what was to come. Particularly liked the 'plastic cake' similie. My criticism would be the ending, which I found cliche and disappointing. It made sense, I think i'm just sick of the 'but who is the monster?' thing. Good stuff overall though.

Battler 9:

This verse had good intentions, potential for a good story, and wasn't awful by any means. But it suffered from violent peaks and troughs, and real inconsistencies. So it doesn't sound like i'm lazily hating, i've picked a section for an example and i'll take you through my thought process.

"Taking Bribes to end lives, but since birth you were Anointed" 

"Your wreaking evil in this world and i've been sent to destroy it!"

He hit her with a beam of light and she disintegrated really quick

Her Limbs & skin exploded, it covered me slick and made me feel sick 

Then he turned to me and said "you must accept Jesus to receive this" 

"If you do i will turn you into a human being!" i couldn't believe it!

The first two lines - Fantastic. It read like natural speech. It was a bit of a half rhyme, but worked and carried on the flow. The next two lines then have awkward wording - Using a word like disintegrated, when not having a matching multi the next line.. An unnecessary 'covered me sick', that i'm sure was meant to link with 'feel sick', but only served to delay the flow. Then finally the final two lines, which seems to have no issues, until you get to 'human being', and the reader has to pause awkwardly, before desperately fitting in a match to the end multis of the previous line.

Hopefully you get where i'm coming from. I don't know if it was rushed or what, but with a word or rhyme moved or removed here and there could've made it a good piece.

MVGT- Battler 8.



-------------
http://media.photobucket.com/user/Seinamies/media/Big-Dilla-Cover-web.jpg.html" rel="nofollow">

Posted By: The Law
Date Posted: 26 April 2017 at 2:23pm
8 Wins

-------------
Go my Minions!


Print Page | Close Window