"AWOL" or A-Wall: Our Father Who Aren't In Heaven
Printed From: Lyrical Assault
Category: Emcee Lounge
Forum Name: Open Mic
Forum Description: This isnt a Battle Board, this is for your Freestyle Verses to be Rated by other members.
URL: http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=46868
Printed Date: 27 March 2026 at 4:11am
Topic: "AWOL" or A-Wall: Our Father Who Aren't In Heaven
Posted By: SELF ACTIVATE
Subject: "AWOL" or A-Wall: Our Father Who Aren't In Heaven
Date Posted: 24 November 2020 at 2:52pm
https://ibb.co/ccZ77V7" rel="nofollow"> "Lay down your trumpet and stand aside, dear Gabriel" Commands the archangel Michael in a stoic and noble tone As he slowly raises up the golden shofar closer to his own Oval shaped lips...while he glimpses at the throne That the one true God left inexplicably alone Vacant and abandoned, abdicated or denounced(?) Not a halo, not a crown, or a way to track him down Not a will, not a sound, not a single trace is found Cos he vanished overnight and left his kingdom in the clouds In complete disarray, without a tablet or instructions On how to govern things in the absence of his judgement Thus, Michael blows his trumpet, which erupts into a thunder One hundred times louder than combustion in a cluster Of toxic radiation, cosmic dust and hot debris A warning to the angels that God is not with ye
See, Jesus is the Sun, and Michael is the might and together they've become, The Army of the Light While down on the planet, and all throughout creation Portals open up for invading demon nations Who come in many forms: Reptilians and the Grays The mythical and horned, and pagans who had claimed To once be the lords of every single race From the alien cyborgs to mortal men of clay
Hades leads the way...Abaddon is close behind Fending off the flank of the Cherub and divine... Holy royal forces who are clashing without warning Attacking with a passion that is fashioned in His glory Beyond the allegories, metaphoric or historic There has never been a story that's recorded more importance For the fate of all there is, is hanging in the balance As Satan and his captains wage a war upon the palace The galaxies unravel and the stars start to fade Explosions in the cosmos, but not the 'Big Bang' Particles dissolve, all energy is drained Entropy unchained as an agent of the Void Oblivion's now God, cos everything's destroyed Satan and his demons, Michael and his legions Even Jesus Christ couldn't stifle off deletion  For my keyboard is lethal—they never stood a chance I'm not good, I'm not evil—I'm simply just a man A writer, and their "God", who breached the Fourth Wall Then hopped out the story, to entertain ya'll It's all kind of meta; can't be sure what's absolute Like is your life real, or did I pen you too? (Fractals on fractals, as above is so below) The simulations deep, I'm sure we'll never know ;)  [REPEAT] [/QUOTE]
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Replies:
Posted By: levy420
Date Posted: 24 November 2020 at 6:34pm
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Dude this was dope as fuck top notch for sure props beyond props This had so much substance it would take me a full day to do a bar to bar breakdown The internals was heavy ryhme scheme was tight the transitions where near perfect I only had one or two spots where I had to reread it to catch the flow I believe u was aiming at the story line had u drug into it from jump the ending was dope man this is grade a work right here u killed this stay up -------------  |
Posted By: SELF ACTIVATE
Date Posted: 26 November 2020 at 3:57am
| Good lookin on the feed, Lev. It’s much appreciated, my dude, frfr. |
Posted By: Crimson Juice
Date Posted: 26 November 2020 at 8:45am
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I'll edit this post later with feed when i get home from work, SELF this is a Dousey my man.. "Lay down your trumpet and stand aside, dear Gabriel" Commands the archangel Michael in a stoic and noble tone As he slowly raises up the golden shofar closer to his own Oval shaped lips...while he glimpses at the throne That the one true God left inexplicably alone Vacant and abandoned, abdicated or denounced(?) Not a halo, not a crown, or a way to track him down Not a will, not a sound, not a single trace is found Cos he vanished overnight and left his kingdom in the clouds In complete disarray, without a tablet or instructions On how to govern things in the absence of his judgement Thus, Michael blows his trumpet, which erupts into a thunder One hundred times louder than combustion in a cluster Of toxic radiation, cosmic dust and hot debris A warning to the angels that God is not with ye "Dear bredren follow me!" Yells a heavy hearted Jesus with an armored set of wings "Our Father aren't in Heaven, and soon they'll be a siege" "By the Devil and his rebels, and the ancient deities!" ( Did you write this near a Pool Pit or an Alta by any chance, or on the way to confession out of some guilt of not believing anymore?..lol, very Heavenly, so God aka Zues/Odin/ Jehovah has left the building leaving Jesus to fend for Eden, loving the bounce of this on reading, the flow is smooth so much so that it allows one to follow and draw on the content at their leisure and absorb, top tier opening segment that hooked me from the off,i'm eager now to continue.) See, Jesus is the Sun, and Michael is the might and together they've become, The Army of the Light While down on the planet, and all throughout creation Portals open up for invading demon nations Who come in many forms: Reptilians and the Grays The mythical and horned, and pagans who had claimed To once be the lords of every single race From the alien cyborgs to mortal men of clay "No more shall we WAIT!" Howls Satan to his ranks As he sits atop a dragon With a crown made of snakes "Plow down Heaven's Gate" "And leave nothing in our wake" "Except a desecrated ruin" "With decapitated saints!" (Damn that flow is killing it, so we have a form of Ragnarok cracking off, sprinkled with 4th dimensional beings too, I like the way your blending in all the evils of existence from literally all corners of space and time present and past, already I feel this is a truly epic read) Hades leads the way...Abaddon is close behind Fending off the flank of the Cherub and divine... Holy royal forces who are clashing without warning Attacking with a passion that is fashioned in His glory Beyond the allegories, metaphoric or historic There has never been a story that's recorded more importance For the fate of all there is, is hanging in the balance As Satan and his captains wage a war upon the palace The galaxies unravel and the stars start to fade Explosions in the cosmos, but not the 'Big Bang' Particles dissolve, all energy is drained Entropy unchained as an agent of the Void Oblivion's now God, cos everything's destroyed Satan and his demons, Michael and his legions Even Jesus Christ couldn't stifle off deletion For my keyboard is lethal—they never stood a chance I'm not good, I'm not evil—I'm simply just a man A writer, and their "God", who breached the Fourth Wall Then hopped out the story, to entertain ya'll It's all kind of meta; can't be sure what's absolute Like is your life real, or did I pen you too? (Fractals on fractals, as above is so below) The simulations deep, I'm sure we'll never know ;) (Holy sh*t this battle was a meat grinder fest, even Jesus didn't make it, and the metaphor i'm getting here is, if man stops believing in deities, then their domain like a neutron star collapsing and nearing the point of being a black hole, implodes and all is wiped from all existence, leaving man to pick up the mantle of Creator?, or have I misconstrued something?, Or are you saying your now the supreme entity,? no matter.though because this was so entertaining to read, i got a real solid kick out of this, like The Thing giving me a round house whilst in mid jumping...pure Ripe-age...) Peace. ------------- "You need to learn how to make an exit, before you can dare make an entrance". |
Posted By: SELF ACTIVATE
Date Posted: 26 November 2020 at 3:30pm
| Classic feed, Juiceman. I love it. Thanks for digging deep and offering your thoughts. I’m stoked you enjoyed. |
Posted By: AshleyKaos
Date Posted: 27 November 2020 at 7:57am
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Dam this was really cool and theatrical. The only critique i would give is the first paragraph was a little too wordy and it messed the flow up a little bit but the rest was dope as fuck genious i like the grandois epic feel of the whole piece really good job ------------- NUMBER 1 FEMALE MC TILL THE DEATH OF ME |
Posted By: Dntplywelwitothers
Date Posted: 28 November 2020 at 5:15am
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Imagery in the opening is vibrantly detailed, gives a feeling as if I’m also watching this situation unfold, the story is propelled with a smooth flow excellent wording/rhyming and no unnecessary filler to distract from the idea. Sparking my interest and keeping my interest. I do enjoy mysteries... This is filled with action and intrigue the kind of story that takes you out of yourself makes you pick a side, and being as we already know the characters there is no reason to dwell on their development, they are who they are. I love how you reference that these particular characters are part of another story , you did not create them, but just like that you destroyed them, and everything as if unraveling a ball of yarn, not for any reason other than you could. When you break the 4th wall you give the illusion that we have snapped back to reality... or have we...by adding us to the narrative did you create us? And now, what would it take to change our story? Great read, title and all...you changed the initial perception, very entertaining,I will definitely read this one again. ------------- "My name has the most shout outs in the history of rap...." |
Posted By: Concrete
Date Posted: 28 November 2020 at 10:50pm
| I see what you did here and gotta say it's sick in more ways than one. Aside that smooth flow and vocab you got going I find your pieces very interesting and fresh conceptually. A pioneer of sorts and the Jordan Maxwell of text, cool indeed. |
Posted By: Crimson Juice
Date Posted: 30 November 2020 at 8:38pm
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After reading agin, is it about being free from constrains and shackles, and fending for ourselves/what we put value in?, lol i feel if i read it again i'd draw another conclusion, my this is an impressive joint..peace. ------------- "You need to learn how to make an exit, before you can dare make an entrance". |
Posted By: Sammy
Date Posted: 09 December 2020 at 5:53pm
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the god Self. whats up by brother. this was dope. it reminds me of the movie Legion. I wrote about the many angled ones once but i really like your interpretation here much more. this feels like it should have apart 2 or something. "See, Jesus is the Sun, and Michael is the might and together they've become, The Army of the LightWhile down on the planet, and all throughout creation Portals open up for invading demon nations Who come in many forms: Reptilians and the Grays The mythical and horned, and pagans who had claimed To once be the lords of every single race From the alien cyborgs to mortal men of clay that's my favorite section. you still got it bro. keep on. -------------  |