The Magnificent
Printed From: Lyrical Assault
Category: Emcee Lounge
Forum Name: Open Mic
Forum Description: This isnt a Battle Board, this is for your Freestyle Verses to be Rated by other members.
URL: http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=47246
Printed Date: 27 March 2026 at 3:59am
Topic: The Magnificent
Posted By: Alien365
Subject: The Magnificent
Date Posted: 25 May 2025 at 5:54pm
|
Yo, My heart was in this dimension and trouble was just a memory, Feelings that last are forever temporary I understand truth like Plato, dissect science like Isaac Mind full of colors that a demigod’s eyes lack I woke up in the morning and was met with horror foreignly, In front of me a poster my drawing is so torn to me I reject your theory, my mind is made of nothing like God Still can’t understand the debates that I sought Leaving me like a fortress of eternal mad eternity, Suppress the scenes in the surface and turn to enormity A castle is mind’s mantle, survive handles Deprive mandibles, turn time to spatial I run out of my bedroom, the ghost of god ignoring me Loving my messed doom, force of pawns imploring me My teacher is death’s loop, head screws are wrestled I thank you after winter, my corpse will be bereft too |
Replies:
Posted By: Nigma
Date Posted: 28 May 2025 at 4:16am
|
Lots of different wins in this, some cool lines throughout. I enjoyed (with few exceptions) how thorough your were with multisyllabic end rhymes. The downside to doing this is that the brain adapts and begins to expect it, so missing an end rhyme and going back to a single syllable can be a bit jarring, as it was in the 'eternal mad eternity/turn to enormity' bar. I love the scheme that followed in the next two lines, that's my type of shit with the assonance, but the meaning behind the bars could have used some added attention. Last four lines were the strongest, in my opinion. Very strong finish. Loved the imagery in the ghost of god line, then loved how you matched the exact rhyme with bedroom/messed doom, but did so at the exact same syllable count in the verse. That's good mechanics. Then how you used that internal multi to transition to the next line with 'death's loop/head screws' was clean. Overall a fun little read -------------  |
Posted By: Schematic
Date Posted: 03 September 2025 at 10:10am
|
Double trouble in a subtle bubble ------------- http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/rapper-t-vs-schematic-horrorcore-02_topic45919.html |