Open Mic: B&B - "The Organ Donor" FT EL1TE |
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daydizzle89
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Joined: 23 July 2014 Status: Offline Points: 3805 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LWWLLW |
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Topic: B&B - "The Organ Donor" FT EL1TEPosted: 22 March 2016 at 5:35pm |
![]() Dizzle (Deshi) Hey its Mr. Deshi, im venturing into shit that's sketchy gonna get messy, lets see.. first Vic is Tenshi her kidney's will bring me a hefty penny met Ms. Tenshi for a Pepsi n roofied her till spaghetti She's a beauty, superb with a booty n curves nd healthy She awakes as though she's seen a yeti nd she's getting sweaty Her screams are deftly, "Shut the fuck up or this'll get deadly" "All i want is your left kidney and maybe ill take your liver" sedated this cunt but left her feeling every little sliver Her body begins to shiver, face cold like its brittle n wintered dig in her stomach and clamp arteries, blood flowing like a river slither a pin prick into her and use paint thinner as a disinfectant Kidney's n hand but i notice something.... This bitch is pregnant a tenant connected to this bitch, I didn't know she was expecting Rip out the umbilical chord and protect the kid as an investment Dirty Desh can get seventy seven thousand or more from my assessment rip open her Septum, her eyes filled with horror and resentment i adore this kids complexion, predestined to a whore and subjected Im stitching Tenshi up in segments and await her to waken she lays naked in the basement of a serial vampire made with hatred She felt every serrated slice and saw her baby get taking She couldn't move nor say shit, All while Dr. Deshi was playing Iron Maiden her stomach vacant of a baby and hey kidney's lay on a surgical station submersed n frozen waiting transportation to an unmerciful patient She's raging "Amy said you were going to give me 88 grand as payment!" That's to bad lady, im giving you immortality as a gift from this pagan I clamp on her neck n she begins to shake quick with stimulation You gave me organs and a baby, your soul and beliefs are now forsaken Your a vampire now, Organ trade is just another way to get a statement Because you gave me your baby i must keep you alive in the name of satan One thing though Tenshi, Amy will guide you through the hatred nd raping shell show you the ropes to become a monster how stays in during the day kid El1TE (Tenshi) Tools, scissors n knives as the inside of me shreds My baby's got more worries now than being dropped on his head Blood trickles, my veins slashed, teary eyed... a sinners curse The shivers burst in my spine as he pries upon my liverwurst gaze between the rooms and see naked bodies of 50 chicks as Deshi rips my nails out and sucks the blood like a pixie stick I rattle fear & battle tears, "Tenshi, none of the cryin' shit.." He sticks a pair of scissors right up between my vagina lips Clippers all inside my nose as if he scissored my sinus.. His old TV running child porn and Gilligan's Island This shit is violent, but he advised me that to live, I keep silent While he yanks my baby out and tries to piss in his eyelids A sinner, a tyrant.. Deshi's just a wicked form of Satan He drops the scissors, running to his kitchen for an apron Coming back with a gas mask and a rugged chainsaw he peels my eyes open, as he hacks my baby's face off He tears the gas mask off, as he licks his lips and smiles He tells me "Truth be told, i haven't had a quick one in a while" I can't stomach what had happened next... Deshi was raping me, heinously, as i was strapped with a belt around my neck He tightened the grip, so much that my eyes were drippin blood I yelled "please, please stop!" he said "..I got to get it up..." Screaming in agony, I shook him off, it fueled up his rage That's when he sliced my foot off, stabbing another tool in my face He ripped all of my clothes off, my guts half on the floor Seething through his teeth he screamed "I've had it you whore!" A machete to my breasts, the volcano of blood He shoved his hands on both sides trying to rip out my lungs He bites into my neck, I feel a rush of his lust While he jabs another jagged rusty knife in my gut I feel my soul escape into the air, I'm colder and pale He gives me a mirror, asking me ".....how do you feel?" With his haunting grin... ![]() Edited by daydizzle89 - 22 March 2016 at 5:45pm |
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Endeavor
Senior Moderator
Wiggle wiggle said the bun that jiggle Joined: 03 April 2009 Location: Your kitchen Status: Offline Points: 10000102 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 5-4-0 Form: WWLWLW |
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Posted: 23 March 2016 at 11:28am |
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Jesus Christ, ya'll getting more and more creative with the B&B shit.
Technically Dizz, you were absolutely flawless. The flow was bonkers, the imagery was disgusting and actually got me to shiver a couple of times. Can't leave them poor babies alone, can you? lol I liked how Elite narrated from the perspective of Tenshi and he also was very descriptive with his stuff. How do you guys sleep at night, ha. This is the first text I've seen from you Elite since you've been doing audio a lot but you definitely know how to translate flow to the words written. I'd love to give a big breakdown but my boss will kill me if I do. Good job peeps. I might start my own series of a vampire hunter just to save the children!
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#Bananas
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Elite
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Joined: 16 February 2014 Location: US Status: Offline Points: 3340 Crew: eNtiTy Audio Rank: #3 Stats: 5-0-0 Form: WWWW |
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Posted: 23 March 2016 at 1:30pm |
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thanks for the feed Endeavor. And yeah i was strictly text for about a my first full year here, thats why im good on audio
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daydizzle89
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Joined: 23 July 2014 Status: Offline Points: 3805 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LWWLLW |
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Posted: 29 March 2016 at 10:45pm |
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Thanks Endeavor mucho gracias
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Point Blank
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Joined: 20 May 2005 Status: Offline Points: 7234 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 92-27-5 Form: WWNWWN |
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Posted: 30 March 2016 at 10:04pm |
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Ha, this was nice and really messed up in places! It's been a while since I read a piece with such a strong horrorcore theme and it was quite refreshing. You've both come on leaps and bounds since I last read anything of yours and it's great to see. The imagery was dope across both verses and they tied together very nicely. Good work guys
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Gambino
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Joined: 31 December 2015 Status: Offline Points: 196 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-4-3 Form: LNNLLN |
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Posted: 31 March 2016 at 1:33am |
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This piece was fucced up...in a Marilyn Manson type way.The horror vibe was timeless.I liked the names too lol.The imagery..(though it was painful to envision"was sick...I mean literally sick.The flow was choppy in some spots but overall this was a nice piece.Keep up the good work
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