Open Mic: Blonde & Bondage - Race Relations |
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daydizzle89 
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Joined: 23 July 2014 Status: Offline Points: 3805 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LWWLLW |
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 Topic: Blonde & Bondage - Race RelationsPosted: 27 September 2016 at 5:52pm |
 Hey Peeps, Its Deshi nd this is my biggest achievement Im the reason for riots committed in Cleveland Recent race relations depleted for convenience Black cop kills a black man nd i got ya believing its a race riot, its pig hunting season What your brains seeing is fucking deceiving a sequence of events nd misleading briefings sending it to the media to leak shit Yet wont release the video of him squeezing a clip or the cop bleeding from taking a fist to the cheeks nd im the reason for progressives trying to seize ya shit Innocent citizens feeling this more than the thieves, its Deshi dividing this country for the greedy pricks Politicians auditioning to completely succeed in intervening on my rights to breathe in freedom these demons sleep with the right to bare arms Try tuh take away my AR while supplying Tehran You expect me to drop my guns while Deshi making deals with Iran Steal the weak hearts with a false sense of protection Representatives nd colleges have safe spots for the infected Only time they give a fuck about a black man is during the elections I reject this shit, everything the government says is a deflection Pay attention you senseless twits Instead of this false perception of oppression, its misconceptions Fix nd connect with brethren nd take part of expansion The democratic passion is to hold you at ransom to give ya food stamps and enough rations to cash in While they collect a handsome stash nd live in the mansions They give you distractions that the black man cant handle shit they sit back laughing while eating crab cake nd silk napkins been stabbing ya in the back with enough padding tuh keep ya compliant Its tragic, This party is filled with tyrants Speak up and they'll do their mightiest to keep you in silence Yeah im a white kid but i see this governmental virus encouraging bias Im urging for the highest guidance to stop the riots Tyrants in suites should bring us all together to fight this We must triumph against the political lies nd giants Our biggest threat isn't ISIS, Its the Gov keeping us compliant These lions feeding nd thriving off and keeping us divided  |
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SELF ACTIVATE
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Joined: 05 February 2016 Location: Kemet Status: Offline Points: 1389 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 1-1-0 Form: WL |
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Posted: 27 September 2016 at 7:22pm |
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I agree with the overall premise of what you wrote. I believe you made quite a few valid points throughout the entirety of your verse. I also think that from a purely technical point of few you did an excellent job articulating your thoughts in a very clear and concise manner. Your flow (per usual) was the highlight of the drop. Although, I did not read it aloud so I imagine the rhythm maybe even more on point in that regard as oppose to how it came across in my head. Nonetheless, however, it was an effortless read. Thus, I definitely have to give you props on your mechanics, bro. You're one of the best technical writers that post here. Now, with all of that said I have to say that I did not personally agree with everything you wrote. For instance there is a line were you imply that the black man's oppression in this country is more so a matter of media manipulation than it is an actual reality. As a black man I'm here to tell you that flat out is not the case. However, I'm not going into a sociopolitical rant about the issue. Mainly, because I don't feel like writing the pages upon pages of evidence that would prove systematic racism is a fundamental building block of the entire country that has been since the beginning and continues to be in the present day. In any regard, as a whole I thought this was dope. We may agree to disagree on certain issues, but I can still respect the craft you employ. Good ish, Dizz. I enjoyed it. Peace.
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Crimson Juice
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Joined: 20 December 2015 Location: U.K. Status: Offline Points: 3263 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LLWLW |
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Posted: 29 September 2016 at 9:29pm |
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Yep I like this sort of subject matter,never expected it to be
displayed as part of a Blood and bondage series though,but when read it makes sense to be,liked the contents here they were to an extent on the money,I thought you did well making it all fit in rhyme too,you did have highlights throughout this piece that i could quote,like this one, "Representatives nd colleges have safe spots for the infected Only time they give a fuck about a black man is during the elections" that was nice,and that's just one of many,I do enjoy reading your pieces,you have quite a unique way of writing,but all the time display good mechanics,(if i may can i ask a question?. do you read on a subject before writing a puece?,) because you employ so many truths in your drops,anyways solid piece on the whole,which I enjoyed reading,good work here..peace. Edited by Crimson Juice - 29 September 2016 at 9:47pm |
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"You need to learn how to make an exit,
before you can dare make an entrance". |
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daydizzle89
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Joined: 23 July 2014 Status: Offline Points: 3805 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 6-11-0 Form: LWWLLW |
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Posted: 29 September 2016 at 10:27pm |
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Thanks Guys,
Usually its just my take on certain subjects. As you can tell im very opinionated. I try to incorporate as much truth from my perspective. Its easier to write with fluidity doing so. It's usually something that just came across my mind and i pen it up and clean it up. Self, in no way am i disagreeing with systematic racism. I incorporated that broadly in this segment below. Its too complicated of a subject to have pinpointed examples and such. Good looks on the feed though my friend. Much appreciated. Instead of this false perception of oppression, its misconceptions Fix nd connect with brethren nd take part of expansion The democratic passion is to hold you at ransom to give ya food stamps and enough rations to cash in While they collect a handsome stash nd live in the mansions They give you distractions that the black man cant handle shit they sit back laughing while eating crab cake nd silk napkins |
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AshleyKaos
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Joined: 11 October 2013 Status: Offline Points: 2521 Crew: Tha Syndicate  Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 28-63-3 Form: LWLLNQ |
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Posted: 02 October 2016 at 4:31pm |
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I thought this was very deep and we'll written through out with a consistent flow and your rhyme scheme and real word references were I'll and on point here. This was great.
Favorite bar (out of a couple ) these demons sleep with the right to bare arms Try tuh take away my AR while supplying Tehran This was dope you should possibly make this into an audio one day Nice job |
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NUMBER 1 FEMALE MC TILL THE DEATH OF ME
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Stupendipidous
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Joined: 11 September 2014 Location: uk Status: Offline Points: 492 Crew: Hunger Games Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-6-0 Form: LLLLLL |
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Posted: 03 October 2016 at 9:02pm |
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Liking this a lot diz defo keeping it real world with your own style of writing this is also a kind of subject that gonna be around for many years either in the news or in people's minds
You have an exceptional way of portraying your own thoughts no matter how dark or silly or serious u have a back to putting it in words I've just tried to quote parts from my phone but it won't let me so il try do the best I can "Our biggest threat isn't Isis it's the government keeping us compliant, these lions feeding and thriving off and keeping us compliant" Very powerful line I think a lot of people the world over would agree with u on this and I am one of them good to see u still active and writing and keeping at it good work looking forward to catching up on everything I missed |
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