Open Mic: Poetically off the Chain---ft Chain |
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PoeticAssassin
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Joined: 19 September 2011 Location: The Top Status: Offline Points: 90 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-0-0 Form: WW |
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Topic: Poetically off the Chain---ft ChainPosted: 24 January 2012 at 3:18pm |
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Poetically off the Chain Poetic Assassin My lyrics reach the top above the clouds mountain range I descend on the fakest holdin the keys countless game Walk through the fountains to seperate mud from rain Feet ain't getting wet yet, aided from blood and pain I'm focused while my enemies still refuse to change Smokin' the sweet erb high while I polish my fangs... You see....something happens everytime I write my name .......Another rapper dies talking about ice and chains Fight for change but the projects still littered with illereate Like its cool to hold me back and only talk about killin' shit But you ain't killin' shit...only the illest will and I'm feelin' it Put my book away to hide the knowledge like I'm stealin' it Yes I was dealin' shit...even gripped heat to start pealin' wit But do I have to stay the same or begin to start healin' this Nah..I abolished that cause the ink flowin' bombarded the gate Scopin the hardest these darts always reguarded as great Pardon my stake but it remains hard to be ardent in place Cuz I have the eyes of a lion and the heart of the brave... Chain Greed intertwined with the heat of being in a bind Creep through my mind while deleting all benign… Seeds from my psyche I feed on when I’m kind… To the people on my side so I cheat on the divine With creatures bleeding something which seemingly ain’t wine I drink it nonetheless, knowing Jesus would decline… All they had to offer which was evil re-defined Offered me their flesh, now I’m feasting on the swine Losing all my bread to my demons on the grind Here to rock my cradle till I’m sleeping in a pine… Box, boxing angels that can read between the lines Me tryna see them made them see that I was blind Hated being home ‘cause the streets could make me shine Home was a place where they beefed like all the time My beefs were the bomb ‘cause the precinct called them crimes My mom found bullets in my jeans and couldn’t find… Words to describe her grief, leaving her behind… In her seat, I just skated to peep my nigga’s nine
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J Sass
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Joined: 24 June 2009 Location: Omaha,Ne Status: Offline Points: 1918 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 12-7-3 Form: WWWNNN |
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Posted: 24 January 2012 at 3:56pm |
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nice drop yall.....
yall did a good job.....Poet you held ya own and ya shyt was makin alotta sense i was feelin it.. Chain...ya flow was on point as always....i swear this is not ya hottest shyt...but i still seen where you was goin with it....good shyt fam Sass
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-XTC-
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Joined: 12 November 2006 Location: Brooklyn Status: Offline Points: 1533 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 19-11-4 Form: LLLLLL |
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Posted: 24 January 2012 at 6:47pm |
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Chain your shit was dooope.. I liked how you kept the same rhyme scheme throughout the verse.. That's pretty tight.. Good drop fellas.. |
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"See-sick'ness" in the mix cause I flow like the ocean.. ..Slick.. |
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Swift Styles
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Joined: 24 September 2007 Location: East Coast, US Status: Offline Points: 2014 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 9-4-1 Form: WWLWNL |
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Posted: 24 January 2012 at 7:15pm |
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With creatures bleeding something which seemingly ain’t wine I drink it nonetheless, knowing Jesus would decline…
ahhha dopee. |
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Rameez
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Joined: 31 July 2007 Location: Brampton, CDN Status: Offline Points: 3922 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 22-40-4 Form: NWWWWW |
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Posted: 24 January 2012 at 10:25pm |
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PA - as i read the bars stand out the most to me was your first 2 bars and the 6th bar... these bars got my attention... rhyming was ok, some missmatch multi but overall good drop
impressive way of keeping the same rhyme scheme in the whole verse and flow was smooth...I also liked your 3rd bar that stand out most to me..good drop |
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J504
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Joined: 08 June 2010 Status: Offline Points: 5385 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 25-0-0 Form: WWWWWW |
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Posted: 26 January 2012 at 7:57pm |
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First off, dope collab right here. Yall meshed well together, everything felt right side by side. PA, ya coulda tightened yours up a bit in places, there were still some lines that just flowed nicely though, just sayin' here and there it needed a bit of tweakin. CHAIN, as pointed out, it wasn't as in-depth on yours as your single Open Mics but you were on-point with how you meshed it with his style.
PA, the best part about collabin with CHAIN, is he's good about vibin'. It's not always the same with each person, when I collabed with him it was totally different then say him and Cal's collabin and to me that's what makes it fun to read and be involved in.
I have a feelin that if yall collabed a few more times it'd get doper and doper (which yall should do). For a first time collab, this was nice.
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PoeticAssassin
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Joined: 19 September 2011 Location: The Top Status: Offline Points: 90 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-0-0 Form: WW |
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Posted: 27 January 2012 at 4:32pm |
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Appreciate the feedback everyone. I'll return the favor shortly. Oh and if anyone wants to collab on something hit me up and I'll get at it.
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