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Tha Butler 
Groupie 
Joined: 28 September 2014 Location: .. Status: Offline Points: 170 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-5-1 Form: LLWLWN |
 Topic: [Text] Jay v Tha ButlerPosted: 02 October 2014 at 4:54pm |
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5 bars
24hrs Cheq The due time is 48 hours, which is the minimum. Next time read the battle rules. - Site Battle Rules Thank You! Edited by The Law - 02 October 2014 at 9:37pm |
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Jay
Standard Member 
Joined: 21 June 2014 Status: Offline Points: 529 Crew: EMPIRE Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 15-4-1 Form: WWWWLW |
Posted: 02 October 2014 at 6:21pm |
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Jay
Standard Member
Joined: 21 June 2014 Status: Offline Points: 529 Crew: EMPIRE Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 15-4-1 Form: WWWWLW |
Posted: 03 October 2014 at 11:08pm |
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the shotty will put holes in ya body, u know how the game go when i put the Hammers to Butler, they'd reconsider him for that scene in Djangowouldnt make it out the hood with ya goods, u'd need a free pass Usually i put on a condom to destroy But, this time its brass knuckles and a ski mask im here cuz i eat wack MC's and its my hour to lunch only way you'd be known from the Rank, is if you dont take a shower for months Butler can never be this sick, my flow is ill, cold as ice is you even grew up in S. Africa.... and STILL didnt contract the Ebola virus u tell people u thug? scrub thats a shook deal only way you'd pose a threat, is takin selfies with air guns that look real
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Tha Butler
Groupie
Joined: 28 September 2014 Location: .. Status: Offline Points: 170 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-5-1 Form: LLWLWN |
Posted: 04 October 2014 at 11:36am |
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. Setsuburn - Throwing Bean festival Jays - Birds that are colourful yet difficult to see.. Yaj - to spin then greet pointing your fingers.. And we all Know Tre is the better writer in his clique.. Check the cypher they had.. In Luwanda, local rappers act like Lil waynes and all that shit.. If u kno what I mean.. . . TB nun close to a nice bein, my fists is what the bird's greetin Like Micheal Jacksons' sign, yajing how they'l leave his head spinnin He's Empire right? But there's never that much of clear connection N as bright as a Jay is, in a crew cypher we'd still give Tre attention But I see you n Beans, you pretty much heat it ti'l it buns Throw him around like it's the festive of Setsuburn (Wait..lmme be true) You not wanted fam, everyone notice's you cancer Ur fakeness is shittier than the US lang used in Luwanda shit.. SS said it all, 'it aint workin for you, sorry', you waste in the rap game Mean, you talk bout shit u ain got n what's worse u have a fake name |
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Rutter knows best
Senior Moderator 
Joined: 15 March 2014 Location: Manny hood Status: Offline Points: 4529 Crew: EMPIRE  Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 44-12-0 Form: WWWWLW |
Posted: 05 October 2014 at 2:01am |
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Two different styles here.
Jay - i think you could of come harder and been more direct overall. It was all well written but not consistantly aggressive, Your 2nd and 3rd bar i like, two good bars there i would of been happy to of wrote myself. The whole thing flowed well and while there weren't really any personals i'll judge you on your writing not your detective skills. The butler- Most of it didn't land for me. You put the work in i'll give you that. Your writing and format is sound but the content wasn't there. I'm sure your capable of better, just wasn't a verse strong enough for a win this time. Wasn't a massive gap in standard but jay had my two favourites bars of the battle. Mvgt jay |
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E.V.P.
Standard Member
Joined: 05 September 2014 Location: Toronto Status: Offline Points: 535 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 7-4-0 Form: WWLLWL |
Posted: 05 October 2014 at 10:07pm |
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Jay: You brought the effort but you didn't have good openers and besides one or two, your punchlines weren't very strong but they managed to do the trick. the shotty will put holes in ya body, u know how the game go when i put the Hammers to Butler, they'd reconsider him for that scene in DjangoThis bar was decent, should've tried for multis, punchline could've been harder though. wouldnt make it out the hood with ya goods, u'd need a free pass Usually i put on a condom to destroy But, this time its brass knuckles and a ski mask Liked your punchline's content but you should've used it as a opener and made a hard hitting punch. im here cuz i eat wack MC's and its my hour to lunch only way you'd be known from the Rank, is if you dont take a shower for months Not the strongest of bars but it did it's job. Butler can never be this sick, my flow is ill, cold as ice is you even grew up in S. Africa.... and STILL didnt contract the Ebola virus Felt that this bar was forced, punchline was weak. u tell people u thug? scrub thats a shook deal only way you'd pose a threat, is takin selfies with air guns that look real Decent punch, could've hit harder and you should've made a better opener. --------- Tha Butler: Unfortunately I don't have many good things to say about your verse.. You showed inability to set up a punchline, let alone rhyme. There were a few things you were trying to set up but you never ended up executing them. B nun close to a nice bein, my fists is what the bird's greetin Like Micheal Jacksons' sign, yajing how they'l leave his head spinnin You didn't rhyme and your punchline needed to be worded better to have any effect. He's Empire right? But there's never that much of clear connection N as bright as a Jay is, in a crew cypher we'd still give Tre attention You should've switched around your lines here and used something totally different for the opener, this was a mess. But I see you n Beans, you pretty much heat it ti'l it buns Throw him around like it's the festive of Setsuburn Had you taken a bit more time, this bar could've been alright.. However you didn't even rhyme and this bar fell off. (Wait..lmme be true) You not wanted fam, everyone notice's you cancer Ur fakeness is shittier than the US lang used in Luwanda Setup and punchline were weak, no multis. shit.. SS said it all, 'it aint workin for you, sorry', you waste in the rap game Mean, you talk bout shit u ain got n what's worse u have a fake name Your punchline was terrible, you could've at least made it rhyme.. MY VOTE GOES TO: JAY |
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Zinaii
Standard Member
Joined: 15 June 2013 Status: Offline Points: 2957 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 47-27-10 Form: WLNNNL |
Posted: 06 October 2014 at 5:33am |
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J - Opener was cool; I can already tell youve gotten way better; try to avoid gunplay bars cuz theyre not really popular on this site. second bar fell flat to me i wasnt feeling the concept; third bar opener was filler but the punch was creative and the bar as a whole flowed smoothly i liked that one. FOurth bar it was a good attempt; opener was a little choppy and i think the ebola play could have been used differently. Fifth bar seemed like you were kinda burnt out on ideas which happens; came off light
overall not a bad verse youve stepped it up quick some concepts need to be better thought out and cut down on the filler a little good shit Butler-opener was sloppy I get the idea but the execution ruined it. Second bar was nice and it shows you did some homework on him. It wasnt hardhitting but it definently connected nice. Third bar aww man u had a good idea on this punch too but the wording was off and ruined it. Props on a creative idea though. Fourth wasnt really feeling this one; theres no way we can prove thats how guys act in Luwanda. Technically any city could have been put there....closer didnt work it was sloppy also and wasnt a clean clear concept Overall decent battle; jay as i said u have improved a lot jus cut back on filler and expand on concepts dig a little deeper to bring those crazy punches. Butler not bad you have potential; just need to work on your writing; get it cleaner and worded so we can read the verse smoothly. You have some dope concepts but they will get worded better naturally as you battle and write more. Jay gets my vote good battle both |
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The Law
Site Moderator
God of the Minions Joined: 15 June 2013 Status: Offline Points: 5504  Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 64-8-8 Form: LNWWWW |
Posted: 06 October 2014 at 12:37pm |
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3-0 KO
Jay Wins
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