36 Lines
Printed From: Lyrical Assault
Category: Emcee Lounge
Forum Name: Open Mic
Forum Description: This isnt a Battle Board, this is for your Freestyle Verses to be Rated by other members.
URL: http://www.lyricalassault.co.uk/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15983
Printed Date: 27 March 2026 at 2:16am
Topic: 36 Lines
Posted By: Freeda5thDawg
Subject: 36 Lines
Date Posted: 13 August 2008 at 4:08pm
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In order for you to feel me – I’ve illustrated kills An ill instated skill still sealed and rated real Built till the fate reveals spilt will in faded shields Wield a page unveiling flames that peel grills in blazing steal Bills, deals and making mills still drills the holes in hope Known a pro because the flow I chose is stolen most Groping throats and choking foes – Till their foaming gross With your skull and bones showing more than phony ghosts In a zone where thrones are broken from the poems I wrote It’s payback for fake fags who made rap to waste trash and now they owe they soul With ya corny prose you poorly note…This game… Is full of nosey hoes who only know of snorting coke But of course the globe would rather hear some bastard cheer About the ass and rear and trashing peers from just a half a beer Rap is near the casket where the mass is clearly wack and queer Fashion, gear, and straps are dear to every act’s career It’s sad to hear it past the ear – Facts ain’t a factor here Having fear of massive veers right back to where the past appeared Is vast and we’re the kats who stared and watched it crumble The block’s a jungle and the talks of love has gotten subtle There’s still of box puzzles waiting to be brought to bundles Cock and unload shots and puddles drop in rubble Moms befuddled from the loss and troubled what the cops have mumbled Glocks are bottle pop with bubbles popping up from rocket shuttles We walk as brothers but are taught to tussle for ya pride Is it a hustle or a grind that we will lust for in our lives? I touch you with a rhyme to either crush you or provide That little muscle when you climb to reach above through all the strive Upclose to ya mind - I'm the barrel in the temple- - Tryna bare with shit that's meant to be repaired to its credentials- - Incomparable when terror's close I'm tearing clothes like "THERE IS HULK"- - The chairman of this scary flow as daring and prepared to blow... Till the air explodes ya hair to toes and shows a barren zone- - Full of arrows, bones, apparels torn and narrow holes that bare ya souls- - Where I stare alone...in a chair I stole from the pharaoh's throne- - There you go...Swearing "no fair...there's no where to go" thanks for your time...drop links you want me to feed.... -------------  |
Replies:
Posted By: Point Blank
Date Posted: 13 August 2008 at 4:15pm
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Posted By: Kay B
Date Posted: 13 August 2008 at 6:50pm
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Dope, loved it man as usual...dope content, dope rhymes...easily the best overall writer on this site imo...period Loved how u used different rhyme schemes this time tho its dope when u drop a milli using the same one haha... nice shit man.. -------------  |
Posted By: Rameez
Date Posted: 13 August 2008 at 11:09pm
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this was dope, I can feel the multi rhyme scheme and good internal.. and on the content part most of your stuff is true to my mind.. and meta were nice here.. every bars roll over da tongue.. good stuff.. keep it up
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Posted By: Freeda5thDawg
Date Posted: 13 August 2008 at 11:11pm
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appreciate the feedback kay...lol at point...
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Posted By: Rhymez
Date Posted: 14 August 2008 at 5:01am
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Lol you're officially the king of poetry. This piece was amazing |
Posted By: Freeda5thDawg
Date Posted: 15 August 2008 at 12:26am
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thanks alot ram and rhymez....appreciate the comments...
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Posted By: CHAIN
Date Posted: 15 August 2008 at 6:46pm
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Till the air explodes ya hair to toes and shows a barren zone- - Full of arrows, bones, apparels torn and narrow holes that bare ya souls- - Where I stare alone...in a chair I stole from the pharaoh's throne- - There you go...Swearing "no fair...there's no where to go" what!!??
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Posted By: mcwoods
Date Posted: 16 August 2008 at 7:01am
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overall: another freeda piece
thoughts: another great piece, multis and flow were smooth, again i have the same problems, i find it hard to follow the story or thought process when following the multis, and sometimes the thoughts seem pretty cryptic, however lines have a nice power to them, thoughts are generally well founded, and people are loving what your doing, so keep doing. Things to work on: making a tutorial for these kinds of pieces lol, or really trying to do a sick topical with this kind of style, imo, id like a few more clever lines etc, but thats me
great piece |