General Board: As I promised yall wonderful people...

still think all of that beef was stupid but aah

ok off you go then

Thank fuck that fake faggot's finally fucked off for good...

Just to clarify for the other Members... Se�or Perfecto is my stage-name for all genres of music I do...  I was mistaken for Hispanic when I went to New York so I think I can pass for a Mexican... plus... I have a real sombrero...

Adios...

It's hot, it's humid, and there are no trees for miles. Lucky for you you're carrying the handiest, most practical hat a hitchhiker can have: the Sombrero.

If you're looking for shade, you don't have to look very far wearing a sombrero. The shade stays with you. In fact, "sombrero" derives from the Spanish word "sombre", meaning shade. The word "sombrero" also directly translates to "hat", so it could be considered "the shady hat". The word has since become so popular in the United States and Great Britain that it is now also an official English word along with a Spanish one.

History Of The Sombrero

The first people to wear this useful device were apparently Mestizo workers in Mexico and the southern United States. Where they got the idea from remains a mystery, but it's highly possible they thought up the idea themselves.

Scenario: Paco is in the hot Texas sun, hoeing some beets for his employer. Suddenly, it gets really hot. "Gee, man. Eet sure eez hot!" So he decides to build a crude straw hat big enough to keep the sun out of his face and eyes.

Today, sombreros are used as visuals for laziness, and as gag gifts at parties and celebrations. They are rarely taken seriously, and no longer carry the message of the true hard-working Mestizos. It's a shame, but all traditions follow this path to doom.

Types Of Sombreros

The more familiar of the two sombrero forms is the "El Straw Cheapo". This hat can be purchased from such fine vintages as festivals and amusement parks. They try to bring out the true spirit of the sombrero: craftsmanship and hard work. They fail, though, because it just turns out that children (and college frat boys) will wear them to look goofy and mock other people.

The less familiar (but higher quality) sombrero is the "El Felt Richo". It's basically the same as the straw hat, but is made from felt and often has intricate designs sewn on to the top portion. It costs much more than the straw sombrero because of material prices, but is also much more showy. It blends in to any surrounding, and often impresses the opposite sex.

Both these hats can contain hanging stringed wooden knobs called "beads". These beads are used in the Mexican Hat Dance (see below) or in high movement activities (such as moshing [1]) to give the hat "life". It is rare to find a hat like this in the United States, but it's more available in the United Kingdom and Mexico.

Proper Attire

Those over-the-shoulder throws? They are called "serapes". That is pronounced Sir-OP-Eez. I call them "rugs". This is because it looks like a rug with a hole cut in the middle for the head to fit through. You throw them over your shoulder, and this is considered proper sombrero attire. Often times, you'll see gauchos (Spanish cowboys) wearing such an item. Practical uses for them include hiding guns and ammo underneath. I suppose you could hide dead cats under there, too.

Also, if you just wear a sombrero during leisure time, you need sandals. To wear a sombrero without sandals is like eating a cheese pizza. You've got the pizza/hat, but it's just so damn plain. Besides, sandals are the most comfortable shoes you can buy. You can wiggle your toes, and you get a nice breeze!

Sex Appeal Concerning Sombreros

One time while at Great America (an amusement park in Illinois, USA, Earth) I received an El Cheapo sombrero for playing ring toss. It started to rain, so I sat down under an umbrella table. Two girls nearby started talking about me and I had a gut feeling they were going to ask me for my phone number. Then they got up for some pretzels, started laughing, and left. Now I'll never know.

Later on that year, I brought my sombrero to school and actually wore it. In Biology, a girl named Kelly Ploetz called out, "Ooh, sexy hat!" in a very sarcastic tone. In afterthought, however, I believe she was talking about someone else.

Maybe your rich daddy can break into the untapped market of dermatological sombreros...

Adios...

More shoddy but reasonably-priced LA-merchandise coming soon...

Adios...

A dead Russian Communist textceeing on the internet wearing a sombrero...?

It doesn't get any crazier...

Adios...