Open Mic: February Baby |
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JBrenn 
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 Topic: February BabyPosted: 12 February 2014 at 11:46pm |
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the scene painted in front of me is to surreal, questioning is this for real? colors melting together worry surrounds my brain... nothing has the same taste anymore i now fear the pain... eyes easily water my tongue holds back, am i becoming soft or becoming a dad, passion i want to pass on but first i fear the worst.. fear I'm cursed Fear eats me alive i fear i'll burst! I steal away to breath before i panic... brain forms scenes of things so tragic... I pray for strength and luck and magic... answers never clear like radio stations cloud with static... I plan and plan and prepare for the truth... said goodbyes to my youth.. What do i do Im a dude who's new to this view... Wonder fills my brain questions, i can't wait to see... will he be smart an love books or throw hooks like me... love the games i do will he shoot the three! Will he be a brute who lives life ruthlessly... will he have my eyes or be more like his mother.. will he be spiteful with no heart or be a lover? I only pray for ten fingers and ten toes... two legs two arms two eyes and one nose... I only ask that he smiles when he sees me... After that he can be his own man i not BE ME! I want better for that dude i want him to be stronger... Have more in life and live longer... For him to stay humble but know he's done his best... To speak with honor and strength nothing less... To show respect to get respect... to have true faith and be his best! |
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Trizzy Tre
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Posted: 13 February 2014 at 2:29pm |
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J I was really diggin this.
Whole piece flowed, but the content was perfectly worded. The emotions and thoughts that go through a new dads head when having a son. I can relate to this drop man....great read. |
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Concrete
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Joined: 02 September 2013 Location: Oslo Status: Offline Points: 1424 Crew: Tha Syndicate Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 33-6-0 Form: WWWWWW |
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Posted: 13 February 2014 at 8:58pm |
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Yeah Brenn this was stellar from top to da bottom, you really managed to convey some sincere emotions, slick execution overall, loved these parts:
the scene painted in front of me is to surreal, questioning is this for real? I steal away to breath before i panic... brain forms scenes of things so tragic... I pray for strength and luck and magic... |
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Titu
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Posted: 13 February 2014 at 9:46pm |
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Good work brenn. Really enjoyed this.
I liked the concept and it has them true emotional vibes. Flow was good throughout. You conveyed the messege perfectly. Props brother |
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Fuck That Fat smelly cunt Donald Trump, a racist asshole who is fucked in the head.
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JBrenn
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Posted: 14 February 2014 at 10:31am |
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thanks for the feed really but this was just something weighing on my heart at the moment... a quick key as a flood of emotions gripped me.. thanks though y'all and DJ FUCK YOU AND YOUR STARS!
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IZIAH
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Posted: 18 February 2014 at 7:57pm |
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siick man. this was flowing really good man.
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~Insight The Inspired~
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JBrenn
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Posted: 18 February 2014 at 8:02pm |
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thanks Iz....
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Cuba
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Posted: 18 February 2014 at 8:20pm |
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Wait, you don't just make sigs?!
The three lines Concrete quoted were absolutely fucking savage, loved that...brute line was rugged as well, dug it. I kind of liked the 'real talk' part from that point onwards, just felt genuine and flowed a little smoother because of that...like you said what you wanted to say not what you thought a line should be like? Write more like that bro... |
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Cheeseburger Eddie
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Posted: 18 February 2014 at 10:16pm |
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Really liked the flow.
As a February baby, I approve. Brought up great imagery and feelings of "is this what my dad was feeling?" And the answer is "probably" because that was spot on to real emotion. That's something that I really, really appreciate. And yeah, I was going to quote the lines that rhymed with static, but it was already pointed out how sick that part was. Thanks for posting, that was a fantastic read.
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Brotha Goose
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Posted: 18 February 2014 at 10:17pm |
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Ima call command and tell'em that yur a big 'ol softie. ...lol
This was beautifuly written my dude, you've captured the moment with elegance and a degree of realism that truly touches the heart. Yur imagery took me back to when my kids were born and reminded me of those same feelings of uncertainty....amazing emotion in thia broseph. I really Enjoyed reading it |
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JBrenn
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Posted: 19 February 2014 at 2:14am |
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Thanks for all the feed guys prciate it.
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levy420
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Posted: 19 February 2014 at 8:11am |
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This was a good personal piece that I only prah he has two arms two legs two eyes an one nose line I can relate to my exact thoughts when my first born was being born hope u ready for parenthood big boss stay blessed
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JBrenn
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Posted: 24 February 2014 at 1:50am |
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thanks Lev!!!!
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U.N.L.M.
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Posted: 24 February 2014 at 1:58am |
 But, damn @ this verse...Killed it...Absolutely killed it...Took a situation and just laid it down as real as it gets...The whole "pray for ten fingers and ten toes..." bar was top-notch...I thought that whole second set was flawless in portraying what you wanted to say...The first was different, but in a good way...I don't know if you planned it, but I thought it was fitting that the first verse was a bit more disjointed in structure to reflect a more nervous worry....and then that 2nd verse was kind of you just spilling out your thoughts and worries in a continuous way...Only thing that disappointed me is that you didn't mention that he better like Harry Potter...I'm just saying...if he doesn't it's your job to twist his arm so he does...  Bravo on this though
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JBrenn
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Posted: 24 February 2014 at 2:02am |
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LOL!!!^^^^^ UNLM you know my kids gonna get harry read to him every night instead of the cat in the hat and shit!! lol
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Exoduzt
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Posted: 24 February 2014 at 3:28am |
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damn Jbrenn...you really have came into your own....be proud of yaself. I'm proud of you...For real no joke I love when I seen someone improve like this...I remember when I was giving you advice and being frustrated about another noob who won't make it...You took advice and have proven yaself as a threat now....
good shit man...keep droppin like this |
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The Law
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Posted: 24 February 2014 at 4:02am |
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Bro this piece was awesome from start to finish… Heart felt.. No homo..
Loved this bar "eyes easily water my tongue holds back, i am i becoming soft or becoming a dad," It's obvious this verse came from deep down, and your skill and lyrics came out because of this. Really dope drop here J-Brenn. You deserve all the props.
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JBrenn
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Posted: 24 February 2014 at 8:25am |
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seriously you guys are awesome.. thanks for the read y'all.. and Ex you know had to start some where.....
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JBrenn
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Posted: 28 January 2015 at 5:26am |
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bump this for a special reason.... got something on the way for y'all
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The Poet
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Posted: 28 January 2015 at 7:07am |
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this verse was pretty nice JBrenn, it flowed nicely with the emotions inside it was worth reading and i enjoyed it from top to bottom man, being a father for the 1st time sure can give a dude mixed emotions and self questions, pretty good drop J, stay dropping bro
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Brotha Goose wrote: