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Freeda5thDawg View Drop Down
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    Posted: 23 December 2007 at 7:09pm

Clouds floating over bodies where the soul’s inexistent
Broken positions...Urine soaks the clothes of a victim
Holding her children...The mother who smothered the kids with her pain
Sits in the rain and slits in the blade to rip through the vein
While a boy visions the flames...As he disintegrates
The Lord listens and waits to erase the sins we detain
There’s bandits unveiling an antic of painting families tearing
Fantasies wielding hope that the woman and man's disappearing
Damned from His healings...But prayer is the slayer of these nightmares
But life tears through the faith to kill us right here 
Our minds share the lust to bare the dust of our enemies
Clutch till the metal leaves at least a couple of dead defeats
Rest in peace in the dirt...Murder resorted the fight
And then a girl deserted her birth before mom aborted her life
The world is cursed and it’s trife...Each person’s working to hurt
The serpent is perfect cause words of death are for certain the worst

There’s a kid who prays that his dad would get him something for Christmas- -
Another waited for dad to get his mother with his fists- -
While others could dismiss - The thought of a struggle- -
A lot of us were caught in a bubble and dropped in a puddle- -
People taunt in rebuttal but it’s always hard in a puzzle…
That crumbles once you lost someone who honored and loved you- -
My heart has been smothered with all of this anguish- -
Extinguished my chances when I believed I’ve been granted…
Advantage to this ravaging life distinguished as rancid- -
Screaming and damning any rant of English’s language…
In anger seeking an answer but standing so weak I don’t manage- -
Breathing in panic - Disbelieving there’s a peace when I vanish- -
Weakly inanimate and innately damaged at any day…
My pamphlets can’t relate in a way to the land that hates- -
I’ve antedated the candidates pampered with all of the grand to make…
A plan to change – They amputated my hand of praise- -
Now I stand defaced tracing another’s pain in this sheet- -
Cause their faith was raised in belief in the statements I speak- -
Here to save em from evil ways that will lead…
To the flames and the teeth of Satan’s craving to eat- -
I don’t say this for me – So save your waste of a speech…
For those racists who hate what they see – Then blame it on me- -
They’re playing to keep us caged in a place where we bleed- -
So I’m playing a beat – Where a page is the place I can claim to be free- -
I trained in a deep state in the brain that changed me to be…
A sage whose wasted his ink to teach away from hate and deceit- -
You thinking that I would aim what I dream to the sky?- -
I don’t believe in those lies – It’s why I see with my eyes…
And not the feeling inside – So please…God leads me to rise - -
To the top, reaching ya lives though it’s not easy to try- -
Especially when we got heat on our sides…
That has shot teens that were by in the block reading a line- -
And I’ve fought demons inside of my pride- -
But I lost in the end when often my friends seemed to divide or would die- -
So why do we try – We’re practically living for death- -
That’s why in this rhyme – I’m actually giving you breath- -
Lift up ya chest…



Edited by Freeda5thDawg - 23 December 2007 at 7:10pm
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Point Blank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 December 2007 at 4:51pm

Holding her children...The mother who smothered the kids with her pain
Sits in the rain and slits in the blade to rip through the vein


Here to save em from evil ways that will lead…
To the flames and the teeth of Satan’s craving to eat- -

Wow...As Usual, Sick Multies And Flow, But The Emotion In This Was ALOT Stronger Than Most Of Your Other Pieces. The Quoted Bars Were Jus Sick. Keep It Up.
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Freeda5thDawg View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Freeda5thDawg Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 December 2007 at 4:54pm
thanks alot man...
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CHAIN View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote CHAIN Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 December 2007 at 5:10pm
So I’m playing a beat – Where a page is the place I can claim to be free- -
I trained in a deep state in the brain that changed me to be…
A sage whose wasted his ink to teach away from hate and deceit- -
 
woooowwwww! flow was butter, and i like how the shit was worded,, multies were sick too
 
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote mcwoods Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 December 2007 at 5:14pm

yeah, well you know my thought on this style, but as it is, very nice, flow and multis real good, nice emotion.... but what is it about? lol

have you tried writing topicals / stories ?
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Freeda5thDawg View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Freeda5thDawg Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 December 2007 at 5:40pm
it's like putting people in awareness that when they think they have problems, there's others who have it worse...second verse, i apply my own personal feelings on what i been through while also acting as a voice for those who go through hardships...hence the "I don’t say this for me", meaning i say it for the unfortunate...yup...yes, i've wrote topicals and my story telling isn't quite different from typical types of storytelling...i usually tend to start switching subject, or something, heh...thanks for the feed man...thanks to chain too...it's appreciated man...
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