Open Mic: La feels my truth's |
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Kay B 
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Joined: 28 June 2005 Location: Watford Status: Offline Points: 9428 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 58-32-0 Form: LLWWWW |
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 Topic: La feels my truth'sPosted: 07 February 2008 at 3:05pm |
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Inspired by jay z - moment of clarity
It's been coming.. Read closely, you'll see what im about... LA feel my truths... For month's iv been spillin' tales of terror Expressed feeling's of pain an' joy which'll stay together Can't erase forever, stuck in the back of my mind Stress leads to sweat, until the second i relax n im fine Buckled as bones a' displaced wit' a smack Suffered trapped nerves in a neck, i can't face looking back In pain as it's cracked, love's displayed wit' attacks Forced to work double shifts, he'd complain that id slack Pushin' weight like mothers with fat kids Felling jealousy and envy of the others that had shit Some'll feel the meanin' the rest of em laugh Tracing back the steps of my past, not forgettin' em fast It's been coming.. Read closely, you'll see what im about... LA feel my truths... Never creatin' storys, pissed off i actually could An' qestionin why like woodland crashes, im clashin' wit woods Jus' accept than i can, show respect to this man But at the same time realise you can't be selectin' ya fans See the reason we clash, isn't divided by beef It's people fueling a fire, an' perceptions deciding im weak Address what you speak, while stampin' my views The only reason it's 'fake'...is cause it aint happen to you Some'll take this wrong, flippin' a speech to a diss Cause there pissed off that on tip toes they aint reachin' to this Or releasin' the hits, read enough of that borin shit B Shame that chip couldn't hold the weight of the notorious D ...I'm done... It's been coming.. Read closely, you'll see what im about... LA feel my truths... |
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frank white
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First Audio Battle Winner Joined: 23 April 2004 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 1556 Crew: XFade: Phoenix Text Rank: #13 Stats: 28-63-3 Form: LLNWWL |
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Posted: 07 February 2008 at 3:38pm |
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Yeh i like this especially the secons half of it, i like how you pointed out that opinions on verese are subjective and just a matter of perception. I read it along to monent of clairty and the flow worked. I liked this it had a lot of deep concerpts without getting too complex. Good to have you back man
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the punching machine
bad boy 4 life biggie smalls was the illest |
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iCeZ
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Joined: 29 June 2005 Status: Offline Points: 1415 Crew: The Dynasty Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 41-13-0 Form: WLWWWW |
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Posted: 07 February 2008 at 5:31pm |
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'If skills sold truth be told kay prob-a-bly be ly-ric-a-ly ice Z"
This was dope man... first part was cool, could feel the emotion, but i liked the 2nd verse the best.... this was well done, good song to sample as well... ties in well wit what your saying....
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Ice they need time to translate it, That why U let kids down
So ya'll should go read my 08 shit, maybe U'll get it now |
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Fatal
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...Wicked Wit Wordplay... Joined: 08 March 2005 Location: Chicago Status: Offline Points: 6441 Crew: The Dynasty Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 44-4-2 Form: WNNWWW |
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Posted: 08 February 2008 at 1:36am |
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This was dope...i was feeling the emotion and personal feel to this verse...flow was good throughout...Good shit Kay
...1
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dalinquent
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Joined: 04 June 2004 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 4687 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 29-23-1 Form: WLLLWL |
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Posted: 08 February 2008 at 3:23am |
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i agree...it was pretty dope to be honest...I don't see any real flaws, opener of the first verse isn't a good multi but its just my opinion, other wise this was dope...some nice under the radar wordplay too, fat kids in example...don't get the structure of the hook really...i have and idea of what u went for but it dont work when I try it. Otherwise, just dope...enjoyed reading this,
-peace- |
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Kay B
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Joined: 28 June 2005 Location: Watford Status: Offline Points: 9428 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 58-32-0 Form: LLWWWW |
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Posted: 08 February 2008 at 7:35am |
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Props, thanks for the feed
The 'hook' wasn't really a hook tbh dal, it was more of just a break off from each verse...it'd be more spoken than rapped if this would be an audio |
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dalinquent
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Joined: 04 June 2004 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 4687 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 29-23-1 Form: WLLLWL |
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Posted: 08 February 2008 at 2:13pm |
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oh, now I see...that makes sense
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teken8996
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Joined: 16 February 2007 Location: CA Status: Offline Points: 390 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 3-7-2 Form: LLNLLN |
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Posted: 08 February 2008 at 6:15pm |
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dang bruh this was a pretty good drop i will do a bar by bar summary...
1st: its nice opener except it feels like the second line is a lil stretched 2nd: this bar worked out to be solid it had a good flow to it it was a good bar 3rd: nice bar nothing too great but it was nice 4th: this was a perfect bar the rhymes was good and the flow was just perfect 5th: this felt like a filler bar but still it was good 6th: nice dawg this was clean close for the first verse... 7th: this is hella nice a lil wordplay which was hella nice 8th: i belive this is the best bar out of this drop 9th: i like this bar too its very nice even though it sounds a bit forced but it was still good 10th: the flow to this bar was just perfect 11th: hahha this bar was hella nice tip toes haah 12th: nice azzz closer the flow was perfect on that bar... over all dawg the first verse was good but i liked the second verse much more... |
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Freeda5thDawg
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Joined: 19 June 2006 Status: Offline Points: 1324 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 5-1-0 Form: WWWLWW |
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Posted: 09 February 2008 at 1:11am |
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at the start...i liked how it began...flow was great, good descriptions...really feelin wat u were expressin...only thing is the mother wit fat kids line, i think the similie use and play took away from the emotional side...second verse was great throughout...the message was rite there, easy to grasp and understand...not only pourin out the wrong but also demandin u got a place on top...nice shit...
"See the reason we clash, isn't divided by beef It's people fueling a fire, an' perceptions deciding im weak" ^^^shit, not only applies to net shit either...universal lines right there... |
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Kay B
Superior Member
Joined: 28 June 2005 Location: Watford Status: Offline Points: 9428 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 58-32-0 Form: LLWWWW |
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Posted: 09 February 2008 at 7:37am |
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Thanks freeda
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U.N.L.M.
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Joined: 19 December 2006 Location: USA Status: Offline Points: 1955 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 23-15-0 Form: WWWWWW |
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Posted: 09 February 2008 at 2:06pm |
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First verse seemed more like an introductory verse than anything else but i felt the flow was really great in that part..Second verse now was loaded with quotable/nice lines and bars i was feeling and really was just the "truth" about things here and in life...also had a nice flow to it...The "fake" line is easily my favorite line and the one Freeda quote is dope too..It was a dope drop all together, nice to see ya back, keep droppin'...
"But at the same time realise you can't be selectin' ya fans The only reason it's 'fake'...is cause it aint happen to you Some'll take this wrong, flippin' a speech to a diss Cause there pissed off that on tip toes they aint reachin' to this |
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