Open Mic: The Joust (featuring I-See-Grips) |
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CHAIN
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Joined: 14 November 2006 Status: Offline Points: 2769 ![]() Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 8-4-0 Form: LWWLWW |
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Topic: The Joust (featuring I-See-Grips)Posted: 26 May 2009 at 2:25pm |
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wi duz diz, grips tell 'em why u better than whoever
[I-See-Grips] Grip an the Chain be killing the plays hard ripping ya brains an filling them graveyards Two sick cats juxtaposing there rhyme skills disbelievers you fucks have chosen a minefield Deadly defines the shit conjured in See’s mind strong rhymes abound in the confines of these lines Executing most cunts we corrupt and obscene no disputing these punches would rupture ya spleen Competition falling short quick, burning all the time we put the ball in ya court sick it’s ya terminal decline Determined just to rhyme until its firm in ya minds we will be dealing out the damage of a permanent kind My morals on the floor man disgusting and rancid turning quarrels to war and steady busting ya chances Frozen through fear with every piece of ya broken my grips holding tight until ya cease to be choking [Chain] Take my… Modesty for realness and worship what I do here Murder on the reg’, it occurring isn’t too rare Hurt ‘em with this truth serum coming out the verses Dumb it down on purpose ‘cause learning’s what the youth fears Cured ‘em of their bias as my purity induced tears The blur poofs away ‘cause I murk it till the view’s clear That’s what I do besides purchasing some new Airs Nurturing the goons but suburbia’s like ‘who cares?’ A burglar in that Wu-wear, the furthest from a poo bear A novelist that’s bodying this circus that pollutes ears Firmer than a moose rear, soldiers won’t just panic And the flows are oceanic so serpents can’t canoe here Fluid is the word and this bourbon ain’t no root beer The proof is in the pudding, I turned it up for 2 years My journal was the womb their, innovations needed… For incubation, speeches were sperming up the cooch hairs… Of their creativity. BLAM!! Edited by CHAIN - 26 May 2009 at 2:29pm |
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mcwoods
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Joined: 04 December 2006 Status: Offline Points: 4204 Crew: XFade: Phoenix Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 42-51-0 Form: LLLLWW |
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Posted: 26 May 2009 at 2:33pm |
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grips verse was cool
content was a little off, but flow and multis where solid for the most part, opening line was cool, obviously the scheme couldnt have kept up with that, just felt it fell off a little bit towards the end, but this was good, great elevation chain closer was digusting lol, rest was nice, rhymescheme is complex yet simple, plays wernt as tight as some of your others, but still solid, really the your style of returning to the rhymescheme, thats gold overall nice collab |
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sparta
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..Палач.. Joined: 20 June 2006 Location: Volgograd, RUS Status: Offline Points: 2401 Crew: The Dynasty Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 37-13-2 Form: LWWLLL |
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Posted: 26 May 2009 at 4:50pm |
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GRIPS, I've been really impressed with your elevation, the rhymings quality, cant fault the flow, the punches arent fantastic but theres a solid base for some insane verses in the future.
CHAIN, you know how it is, one of the few here who can continue a rhymescheme without forcing it too much (that verse in the first round of the topical tournament was one of the best ive seen here), this was very good also, keep droping you two |
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Junior Shade
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Aka UnaBomber Joined: 07 June 2005 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 5015 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 55-14-6 Form: LWWWLW |
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Posted: 29 May 2009 at 3:37pm |
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Good read fellas.. I agree with both of Woods an' Sparta..
GRIPS.. you've elevated loads man.. Your verses content was real solid but i struggled to keep the flow when reading.. Opening 2 bars where dopeness.. Still a million miles away from when i last read one of your verses.. CHAIN.. Don't believe i've read much from you, but from what people say i'm of the understandin' your pretty hot.. This verse was cool, like'd the flow, good useage of vocab an' some real quatables.. Props guys..! |
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I-SEE-GRIPS
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Joined: 19 May 2008 Location: South London Status: Offline Points: 1214 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 12-23-0 Form: LLWLLL |
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Posted: 01 June 2009 at 6:45pm |
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thanks for the feed guys
nice drop chain
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Cuba
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Legendary Assassin Joined: 14 June 2004 Location: England Status: Offline Points: 12332 ![]() Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 47-22-0 Form: WWWWLW |
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Posted: 04 June 2009 at 3:45pm |
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Grips...said it before, will say it again...I think you have potential, since you came on the site you have learned quickly and listened to what people say to you, those are two attributes that will make you successful...As for the verse, rhythm is much improved since the first time I read one of your verses...integrated nice internal rhyme schemes into some of your lines as well as nice wording to some of the lines...
"Deadly defines the shit conjured in See’s mind" ^ Good example of a fairly simple line that comes of nicer because of the way you phrase it...not much to it really, typical brag line...but you added to it because the way you phrased it, nice You basically just gotta learn how to throw in more depth into the content, so similes & metaphors as well as wordplay...more complicated rhyme schemes and accentuating the flow of the lines...but a decent/nice verse Off the....Typical verse really, rhyme scheme is a given but what is even more noticable is your vocab knowledge...sometimes you get a writer that uses complicated words a lot to demonstrate vocab, but you are someone that just knows language and it comes across in everything you write...I think I've referred to it as "precision" in other things you've written, and the vocab understanding precipitates that precision...another thing that strikes me is your understanding of culture, like you used a phrase "a burgular in that Wu wear"...who else is saying shit like that? Who else would even really understand the reference? You know...personally I think you are long overdue a transition to audio...rhyme schemes (internal & multisyllabic) are nuts, reads smooth and wouldn't take much work to take that into audio style that was crazy... But anyways, nice drop ![]() |
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CHAIN
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Joined: 14 November 2006 Status: Offline Points: 2769 ![]() Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 8-4-0 Form: LWWLWW |
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Posted: 04 June 2009 at 3:50pm |
@ the feed, shit deserves its own thread, lol really appreciate it, and i made the transition to audio years ago, but i'm a perfectionist and that shit just isn't working for me at moment.... |
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