Open Mic: Crack-Punchin' |
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Acid 
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Joined: 18 December 2012 Status: Offline Points: 611 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-4-0 Form: WLLWL |
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 Topic: Crack-Punchin'Posted: 15 April 2013 at 9:32pm |
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A more violent side... I'm nuts on crack, otherwise how would I be open? Crack nuts open and leave the table broken, *ohh* boulders soaking, coke-choking and poking lines, To check if its a smokin' high or a baby powder dopin', Squeezin, groping till I make the stones cry moats in, The only smile I give is with a knife, it's joking, *slit* Cross between Heath Ledger, Hulk AND Hogan, ''shit!'' This is more than bulk, its pulp-squeezed chokin' *aah* Break open wheels, you complainin'? I ain't well spoken, But well, spoke in your guts till you're bust and groping- for the side-bar, I put my fist hard in YOUR middle, So you can't complain I'm SELF CENTERED, no more riddles, This is chafin' straight through the brain spindles, *fuck* No friction, so I take the rust and spark pain pillars in ya MAINS, till you SHORT CIRCUIT, but you still ain't winning the RACE! I'll make a lesbian so straight she'll make a gay dude pregnant, *huh?* Jus' by giving her a face that'll make congress get stuck, I don't give a fuck, I'll bowl out at ten fuckin' hotel attendants, They'll be glad I DIDNT give them the tip but I'm still debatin'... *eh?* But it's better to not waste my bullets on ten worthless gratings, With a grater, I skinned them brainless, no person made this, I must've been created from spilled acid in double barrel gauge, Not that it fucking matters, but I swear I'll die the same way... |
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Acid
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Joined: 18 December 2012 Status: Offline Points: 611 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-4-0 Form: WLLWL |
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Posted: 16 April 2013 at 2:43pm |
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Kiki Spirez
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Joined: 30 December 2008 Location: Chesterfield Status: Offline Points: 4375 Crew: Kratos Kind Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 68-26-0 Form: WWWWLW |
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Posted: 16 April 2013 at 3:08pm |
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This was one of the dopest i've seen from you, did you write this to a beat?
You've upped your game recently, and this is a good example, mainly cos you're showing that you're not scared to switch up the style or structure. I mean, if you wrote it in the moment, and it sounds dope read back.. Then FUCK a structure, you know haha The first 2 bars were a great example of this, and they were smooth as fuck. Keep up buddy.
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Acid
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Joined: 18 December 2012 Status: Offline Points: 611 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 2-4-0 Form: WLLWL |
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Posted: 16 April 2013 at 3:24pm |
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Feed much appreciated man,
I didnt write it to a beat, It just came to me. It kinda came through because I wanted to switch it up to something more aggressive because my last few OMs been a bit more poetic and deep, so something less cryptic was called for, and the first bar (first two lines), the ''crack nuts open'' lines came from listening to a song and the rhyme scheme just started flowing, It was literally on the spot, I wrote the whole thing in some 10 minutes haha. |
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J504
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Posted: 16 April 2013 at 3:58pm |
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Crazy verse right here, the rhyming is what made it for me. The concept was perfect for pushing some wild rhymes.
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Acid
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Posted: 16 April 2013 at 4:34pm |
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Thanks, appreciate it J
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Smoothtung
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Posted: 16 April 2013 at 6:22pm |
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"I'll make a lesbian so straight she'll make a gay dude pregnant, *huh?*
Jus' by giving her a face that'll make congress get stuck, I don't give a fuck, I'll bowl out at ten fuckin' hotel attendants, They'll be glad I DIDNT give them the tip but I'm still debatin'... *eh?* But it's better to not waste my bullets on ten worthless gratings, With a grater, I skinned them brainless, no person made this, I must've been created from spilled acid in double barrel gauge, Not that it fucking matters, but I swear I'll die the same way..." -Acid Way to end it, that last part was crazy man. Love this. |
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Though you never even had the chance to witness it |
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Acid
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Posted: 16 April 2013 at 6:41pm |
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Aha appreciate it Smooth, thanks
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Exoduzt
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NaCl Joined: 08 April 2006 Location: Long Island Status: Offline Points: 5331 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 41-7-5 Form: WWWWWW |
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Posted: 16 April 2013 at 9:21pm |
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nice concept...The opening 2 bars grabbed my attention...This was def different from your last couple of drops but thats not a bad thing...I like seeing a different side of people's writings....This is a huge improvement Acid...Your starting to come into your own style...nice shit
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Trizzy Tre
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Posted: 16 April 2013 at 10:00pm |
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Cool verse man. Your flow was hittin and you schemes were pretty solid. One thing I didnt like which isnt anything to bad but the "fuck", "aaah", "huh" and stuff at the end of some of the barz kinda took away from the verse. No big deal but just wanted to let you know. Overall nice verse. |
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Exoduzt
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NaCl Joined: 08 April 2006 Location: Long Island Status: Offline Points: 5331 Crew: Elision Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 41-7-5 Form: WWWWWW |
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Posted: 16 April 2013 at 10:02pm |
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I'm agreeing with what Trizzy said....took away from the verse a bit
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spume corrupt
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Joined: 27 April 2011 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 3163 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-7-1 Form: WLWLLL |
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Posted: 16 April 2013 at 10:03pm |
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Cross between Heath Ledger, Hulk AND Hogan, ''shit!'' This is more than bulk, its pulp-squeezed chokin' *aah* Break open wheels, you complainin'? I ain't well spoken, But well, spoke in your guts till you're bust and groping- I dont got a fucking clue what you are talikng about EVER!! But I liked how that shitt there sounded grimey I aint gonna lie to you acid; and I guess its just me since everybody else seems to understand you perfectly.............I hope you dont get this twisted bro, I am not about knocking yo production, I recognize the emerging talent, ...........props on that it's just for now in all honesty I'm not feeling it Peace
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Acid
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Posted: 16 April 2013 at 10:22pm |
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Yrah trizzy that isnt really part of the verse, Its like background sound effects after lines like in late 90s/ early 00s horrorcore, but they arent part of the actual verse, appreciate it man, you too exo Spume, i dont even know what im gonna do with you liking my shit but not knowing what youre reading man, I feel great you actually enjoy it despite not getting the content. The first line of that quoted bit isnt part of the 3 lines under it xD "smile with a knife/ slit/ joking/ heath ledger(the joker in batman)" was a play on the joker and how the smile I give is always evil. "this is more than bulk" line is just glorifying myself killing another person "pulp squeezed choking" and the next lines a play which you might not have got: "Break open wheels" = Destroy your path/ stop you moving on, "I aint well spoken" is there to show how Im jist being blindly violent and Im not gonna be reasonable, because I cant be... And "Well, spoke in your guts" is a play because "well spoken"/"well, spoke in" a spoke is the metal rod connectimg the center of a wheel tto the tire rim, and thats going in your guts because I dont give a.fuck for reason, I just leave you "groping for the sidebar". Its really blind violence though, it hasnt got much to it, but maybe the violence plays were too complex? "well spoken, wel spoke in"? Ayo no hard feelings at all Spume, people have differemt mindframes and sometimes stuff doesnt match how you think so its confusing, its just the way I write stuff isnt how youre used to understanding it. |
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spume corrupt
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Joined: 27 April 2011 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 3163 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-7-1 Form: WLWLLL |
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Posted: 16 April 2013 at 10:39pm |
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Nah thats all good bro you dont ever got to justify yourself to me..........I just wanted to be 100 with you, Will always check yo work out mate an let you know what I think
peace
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Acid
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Posted: 16 April 2013 at 10:42pm |
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Yeah man, really appreciate you being honest, thats the best feed a person can give, and same here its all good. |
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BIG GAME
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Posted: 17 April 2013 at 12:50am |
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This was pretty nice Acid, it has your type of signature style on it.
Good shit overall |
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Kosmosis
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Posted: 17 April 2013 at 2:04am |
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The only smile I give is with a knife, it's joking, *slit*
Cross between Heath Ledger, Hulk AND Hogan, ''shit!'' this was excellent multis and wordplay. DOpeness. for the side-bar, I put my fist hard in YOUR middle, So you can't complain I'm SELF CENTERED, no more riddles,  |
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Receiving backhanded compliments from Orion since 11-28-13.
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Acid
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Posted: 17 April 2013 at 6:41pm |
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You didnt get the second line? I could explain it but Im not bothered at the moment, but its cool, appreciate the feed BG and Kos, its now a target to make stuff more understandable but keep it technically sound. This sort of critical feed is actually really helpful in elevating so I appreciate it everyone
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