Open Mic: Elevations from Revelations

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Brotha Goose View Drop Down
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    Posted: 12 January 2014 at 4:24am
Creation?
Fuck that, ima fade me a nation
Struck back, for the alienation
No patience, for my bravado?
Fake shit, go Facebook Geraldo
Sure follow, all the directios
False inspection gives me erections
And my perspective lives for directives
Screw the collective!
Im sculpt'n shivs for all non believers
The Pulpit fibs, Jesus like,
"Leave it to Beaver?"
Yeezus scream'n out...
"She's a deceiver!"
Nah dawg, she's just a Kim
Watch the frog play'n Kar-dash-ian!
And I lash at friends....
But in the morning, we be boys again
Dudes poised, can't tell Boyz 2 Men
Im annoyed, you could times it by ten
I got rhymes to lend...ya I'm pack'n plenty
I drop funnies, got dudes Buggin like Bunnies
See Goose crew, we out make'n money
While these dummies drunk play'n rummy
Im on the road like, 24/7...
Whore house in Texas, bet im in heaven
I roll an eleven, cuz shit be a crap shoot
Foo's with poop chutes lookin to cap you
Ima attack truth, but who's gonna listen
I got tracks in booths, so who's look'n to diss Syn?!


Edited by Brotha Goose - 12 January 2014 at 4:51am
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Brotha Goose View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Brotha Goose Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 January 2014 at 5:11pm
People stay starve'n a Brotha
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J-Scott View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote J-Scott Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 January 2014 at 5:20pm
This was tight, flowed nicely. Felt like it should be audio soon? Would like to see how you spit this. Definitely used your multis here good detail. Nice work brotha
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote J-Scott Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 January 2014 at 5:28pm
Originally posted by Brotha Goose Brotha Goose wrote:

Creation?
Fuck that, ima fade me a nation
Struck back, for the alienation
No patience, for my bravado?
Fake shit, go Facebook Geraldo
Sure follow, all the directios
False inspection gives me erections
And my perspective lives for directives
Screw the collective!
^^your multis were nice here made the piece flow flawless to my reading.also a good use of ya vocabs. Pretty sick opening bars

Im sculpt'n shivs for all non believers
The Pulpit fibs, Jesus like,
"Leave it to Beaver?"
Yeezus scream'n out...
"She's a deceiver!"
^^this part was ok, like I said im sure this is an audio. And the beat would set up for this.

Nah dawg, she's just a Kim
Watch the frog play'n Kar-dash-ian!
And I lash at friends....
But in the morning, we be boys again
Dudes poised, can't tell Boyz 2 Men
Im annoyed, you could times it by ten
I got rhymes to lend...ya I'm pack'n plenty
I drop funnies, got dudes Buggin like Bunnies
See Goose crew, we out make'n money
While these dummies drunk play'n rummy
Im on the road like, 24/7...
Whore house in Texas, bet im in heaven
I roll an eleven, cuz shit be a crap shoot
Foo's with poop chutes lookin to cap you
Ima attack truth, but who's gonna listen
I got tracks in booths, so who's look'n to diss Syn?!
^^^CLOSING BARS WERE PRETTY TIGHT NOT AS GOOD AS THE OPENER IMO BUT STILL FLOWED SMOOTH MADE FOR A VERY GOOD READ
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote RedNosePit Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 January 2014 at 9:16am
This was good. Flow is on point. Vocabulary isn't too flashy but I am actually one who doesn't mind that.
A few good multi's thrown in which undoubtedly helped flow, along with those short bars.
This does seem possibly audio oriented but either way this seems to fall a bit short.
Your line count is fine but with the shorter bars I guess it just leaves us hungry for more.
I do think the last couple drops you've done barely scratch the surface of your capabilities as a writer...
Not to say they are weak...because that's not what I'm saying..
But it'll be interesting to see you unleash one day and just go ham.
I'll definitely peep it.

If you ever wanna collab I'm just a pm away G.
Stay up. 1.
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Manc View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Manc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 January 2014 at 9:22am
Annnnnd another one lol

See, this is the kinda shit where you can see the 'audio head' in you showing through. Definitely one for the booth bro. I loved your choppy rhyme scheme ere - gave it a WuTang type'a feel. And that last bar was fire!!! Definitely feelin' this one
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Titu Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 January 2014 at 11:26am
Dam that was good, don.
Flow was smooth for me. It was a nice read overall. I loved that

No patience, for my bravado?
Fake shit, go Facebook Geraldo
Sure follow, all the directios
False inspection gives me erections

Yo Closer was also dope.
Stay blessed my man..
Fuck That Fat smelly cunt Donald Trump, a racist asshole who is fucked in the head.

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Smoothtung Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 January 2014 at 12:26pm
And my perspective lives for directives
Screw the collective!
Im sculpt'n shivs for all non believers
The Pulpit fibs, Jesus like,
"Leave it to Beaver?"
Yeezus scream'n out...
"She's a deceiver!"
and..
 
 
"Im on the road like, 24/7...
Whore house in Texas, bet im in heaven
I roll an eleven, cuz shit be a crap shoot
Foo's with poop chutes lookin to cap you"
 
 
those were hot man. plus the 'boyz 2 men' bar was tight as well. another great piece man, when I check the OM forum you're name is sitting up there near the top of my must read list.
 
Imagery so vividly intrinsic you might miss it..
Though you never even had the chance to witness it
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Brotha Goose View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Brotha Goose Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 January 2014 at 6:30pm
Appreciate that fam
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Beans View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Beans Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 January 2014 at 6:56pm
Good hit goose, like the intensity would make a good audio
Haven't peeped your tracks but this was a good read... Keep'm coming
1-2 Season 1 Final Champ
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