Open Mic: Seasonal Sickness (VM)

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    Posted: 15 January 2014 at 3:51pm
The Law
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Smoothtung


A new season for the those that have died and the old seasoned souls
A beacon of hope, the birth of a new freedom and home justifies a reason to grow
From old roots that petal out in the cycle of life (pedal)
then blossom into the beautiful art.. This poetry that we write
These roses and thorns emerge and we create the beast and the beauty
and the beauty of our beast inside can never be released as a movie
It's truly, the spring 'reign' that lays down the most porous world in great thoughts
That will make the "Dryest Feet" wetter than a gorgeous girl or made shots (Feat) 
You better enjoy this gleam and glamor cause your gonna yearn for this 'sleek lust'
when the roots of the earth spins the stem on it's axis and turns the degree up


I'm the miracle seed that's an heir to existence, and bare are your feet as you barrel to visit
A Dairy Queen, treated to caramel blizzards, you're there with your teachers, your parents, its vivid..
You're daring to dream while I'm merrily gleaming, you'll care when revealed with the terror it teaches
I'm what turns the air to the breeze you're transparently breathing
A seasonal parent of Egypt where the scarabs our Eagle
I'm a Pharaoh and Genie whose been compared to a demon
The heat that tears your cerebral into perilous lesions 
I'm the tarot that reads of abandoned hope in it's maker
A cancer growth when my rays invade, corrosive to layers
And the sting exposes it's nature like when Frodo's in danger


suck the light out of life, turn it a crimson red
make em all fall, in this autumnal bloodshed
the funs finished, give you floods, mud, wet
bring forth the hour of darkness.. i force the sun set
give the world dementia, you can forget summer
the bitter winds, sour ya taste before the great slumber
braced for hunger, i rust away at this old world
grab a blanket.. an watch every petal decay, fold, curl
early onset of devastation, dishearten the most positive thinker
i make the world sleep.. before the solace of winter



My..
Sprout-tipped stout limbs are now stripped
Brown twigs are ground-fixed now as my boughs chip
How slick can bound sticks get 'til I lean over and fall..
I'm the way a crowd gets when it tweaks over a call
Watch me post-up with robe, glove and sickle..
If I'm dying then I'm bringing the hole, shovel and fiddle
I'm embracing death like the weight of the 4 seasons
Shaking the nest of fate and it's poor demons
And digging forth in the earths core for well-molds
Cuz I'm ready but springing the first roar when the bell tolls.



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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Manc Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 January 2014 at 3:58pm
Love it!!! Fantastic idea lads. Really love the way you were all each a season. Very original and a great concept. Each brought there own style and you all gelled so nicely too. Smooth, your multis in the opening set were off the chain!!! Brilliant drop lads. Much respect!!
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Smoothtung Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 January 2014 at 4:21pm
we appreciate that buddy
Imagery so vividly intrinsic you might miss it..
Though you never even had the chance to witness it
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Concrete Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 January 2014 at 6:02pm
Yeah, the OM section could use more conceptual collabs.
Yall brought different styles to the mix and combined them together in a dope set indeed. 
The season idea was kinda clever also.

Quick feedie for the seasons:

Spring, sets the tone aights, overall really decent merging of keystyle and poetry . 
Easy\catchy to read, not much to critize expect perhaps one thing 
"and the beauty of our beast inside can never be released as a movie"
where the beauty\beast transition was hella-cool but the "released as a movie" felt a bit out of place imo.

Summer, damn that's some elegantly heavy lines waiting to be unraveled.
Vocab is there and effective use of imagery, somehow you made the summer seem the most unpleasant season!


Autumn; pretty much onpoint with the whole damn thing, slick setups
fav bars

bring forth the hour of darkness.. i force the sun set
give the world dementia, you can forget summer

early onset of devastation, dishearten the most positive thinker
i make the world sleep.. before the solace of winter


Winter; also quite slick, original way of wording\rhyming, sets a matching tone for this season
"I'm embracing death like the weight of the 4 seasons" <-- dope
Smooooth overall.



Props to all involved.. and by all means keep more of this coming. 

  

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote The Law Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 January 2014 at 10:23pm
appreciate the feedback. 
Go my Minions!


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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Brotha Goose Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 January 2014 at 10:29pm
Damn, y'all went in! The concept itself is a stroke of genius....had to be Nigma....lol
Dope... from Law's fire power battle style to Smooth's Internal combustion show. Nigma with that imagery
and vocab to FO's signature flow. Im impressed here fellas, gud shit.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote fuckoff Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 January 2014 at 11:55pm
props everyone btw love that opener law
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Point Blank Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 January 2014 at 12:19am
Originally posted by Brotha Goose Brotha Goose wrote:

Damn, y'all went in! The concept itself is a stroke of genius....had to be Nigma....lol


It was initially my idea but these guys expanded on it a lot more than I could have. I've wanted to do this for a while and was originally gonna be in on this but let smooth take my place. This came out doper than I expected, everyone brought their own style and the way the underlying theme of life/death ran throughout this piece was crazy. The metaphors and imagery in every verse were top quality, classic for sure

Edited by Point Blank - 16 January 2014 at 12:35am
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote JBrenn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 January 2014 at 1:40am
Love the concept.

Everyone brought the heat here.

The opener is my favorite. Flow stayed on point. Great great drop.

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote The Law Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 January 2014 at 4:25am
I really enjoyed writing this OM. It turned out well and I felt we all did a great job at melding our different styles and making this work together. As PB said the metaphors and imagery from the drop shined really nice. Dope shit guys. We have to do another very soon. 
Go my Minions!


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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote fuckoff Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 January 2014 at 10:59pm
bump wrtf
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Flossaurus Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 January 2014 at 12:07pm
Nice and poetry like from all verses. Can't give proper feed right now but dip concept. Sort of felt
Like you all came at it with a similar approach. Would've liked to see a lil diff spin on things but you
All brought that elemental feeling to it, so I was diggin it anyways. Stay up
Allow me to retort, you cowards is just learnin the shit we been teachin
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Trizzy Tre Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 January 2014 at 4:09pm
This was a dope read fellas. Good to see ya'll still droppin solid collabo's....
 
Law I thought your opening bar was slick as fuck and realy pulled me in as a reader. Your wording is always spot on and bar to bar is just smooth. Your inners were a nice touch...
Nigma you def have a style all your own and you attack each concept very differently. Always comes off with a fresh feel to it. FO you suck...lol...jokes jokes....you pull off that short bar style so well and your schemes are dope. I liked the way you ended your verse. Smoothtung I never checked your work out but this was a cool verse from you and you held your own at the end of this collabo...
 
well done fellas...
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote The Law Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 January 2014 at 7:47pm
We appreciate the feedback. 
Go my Minions!


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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote BiGGz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 January 2014 at 8:08pm
This Piece Was Amazing on Two Levels..
1. All of The Writers Are Talented.
2. How Well You All Executed This Together, Piece By Piece Was Outstanding.

Law: Your Flow and Execution of Continuation in Multies, and Imagery Was The Best Way to Start This.
Very, Very Well Written, The Structure is Perfect For The Bars, Your Direction is Immaculately Consistent.
Top Notch Writing, Many Props.

Nigma: i Really Love Your Delivery of Your Imagery in Your Piece.
Really Dig Your Rhyme Scheme, Strong Inners/Transitions.
Without Needing to Over Pack Bars With Multies.
Loved Your Closer Too. Good Shit.

FO: i Also Really Dig Your Delivery of Style Here.
Your Imagery is Really Strong, Without Feeling Too Complex to Grab.
Your Short Bars Also Make Your Flow Feel Natural. 
and Some More Strong Multies Would've Been Nice.
But i Like The Way You Drop a Few Lines, and Tie It All in Nicely On a Good Ending Rhyme.
Good Shit Here.

Smooth: Never Read Any of Your Work Before.
Really Loved This. Your Verse All Ties Together So Nicely.
You Have Consistent on Count Multies, and Even Tie Them Into Ending Rhymes.
Smoothly at That. Really Elegant Writing Style, I Dig Your Flow Aswell.
Your Wording Really Works Well For Your Imagery.
Your Verse, Although Honestly Looks The Most Simplistic,
is Probably My Favorite.

Many Props to You All Fellas.
Nice Piece.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Nigma Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 January 2014 at 9:36pm
Smooth ended the piece perfectly too. First time reading it through. Well done and thanks for the feed everyone
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