Open Mic: Make. Believe.

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    Posted: 24 January 2014 at 5:55am
Make. Believe.


We were only seventeen! Both wild childs, but had good hearts
Our family lives have amplified the smiles we had bookedmarked
I took to rye, she was more a Gewürztraminer wine girl
Bright as porcelaine diamonds, she was sure to shine up my world
We were forced to try and snort some lines as highschool soared on by us.
Our portrait was important, we conformed to hide in normal sight
A chorus of adepts advise the forming of a mortal minded Mordecai
They said It’s time for an investment, spend in credit, it’s the best way!
Just pay for education, pick a trade, obtain the best grades
The stress, it gave me chest pains, mind would wander where it shouldn’t
I would ponder where they took him, why his sons life wasn’t looked at
Sometimes I’d find old books to read of father and his goodness
Mom provides me with a bushel, and as eyes both stalk the pile
She confined one, said it’s gloomy and did not want me to look at it
Guess Dad was wild in his youth, it seems like all of us are crooked
But he glided up to Chief of the police before they took him
Ratted by his own policemen, he was swallowed for a good rest
But was honored by his team and I responded quick with good sense
Just like mice pursuing boots of cheese... I followed in his footsteps

. . . 

Soon as I got off duty, just to swallow off the blues, I thought I’d call a hooker
Of all the slags to choose and send me, why’d the booker have to choose her..
I described the bluish dress I had requested on the new girl
I’m Lieutenant. been accredited with excellence, the truths blurred
My blemish is embezzling percentages to screw girls 
Deception in it’s method, yes unethical, but Lou serves them!
Tap, tap.. Finally! Race off to the door to find my maiden
She had huge curves, boobs firm, bet her juices mighty tasty
Her hat was slightly faded and it’s hiding sight from faces
Such nostalgia as she prowled, it’s the liveliness I’m craving
She said ‘Thousand for an hour’ price was high but I still paid it
To my amazement, as the hat tipped backwards and our eyes drew
I find the grace of my past chapter, lady love from back in highschool
As I go to make an action, grasp a thigh or maybe swipe her cooch
YOU BITCH! Its bad.. No sex for me, well SHIT, since I’m a cop, I’m screwed
She quickly flips a badge and then arrests me for soliciting a prostitute
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote INK. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 January 2014 at 6:01am
very well written, flow is nice. Alot of humor, nice metaphors and its a fun filled-read.

"Tap, tap.. Finally! Race off to the door to find my maiden
She had huge curves, boobs firm, bet her juices mighty tasty
Her hat was slightly faded and it’s hiding sight from faces
Such nostalgia as she prowled, it’s the liveliness I’m craving
She said ‘Thousand for an hour’ price was high but I still paid it
To my amazement, as the hat tipped backwards and our eyes drew
I find the grace of my past chapter, lady love from back in highschool
As I go to make an action, grasp a thigh or maybe swipe her cooch
YOU BITCH! Its bad.. No sex for me, well SHIT, since I’m a cop, I’m screwed
She quickly flips a badge and then arrests me for soliciting a prostitute"


this was very rich in detail, wit, and humor. haha i am still laughing at this. Dope man, sorry i can't really give you a novel. Its very well worded, awesome love it haha
#BARS



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Nigma View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Nigma Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 January 2014 at 6:05am
Whatsup Ink I appreciate the quick feed, thank you broseph
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote JBrenn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 January 2014 at 6:12am
another instant classic from Nigma!!!

I think you and goose could right some mad complex audios and honestly the two styles would mix amazingly. Nigma this is on your regular sick shit!

To my amazement, as the hat tipped backwards and our eyes drew
I find the grace of my past chapter, lady love from back in high school
^^^^^
THIS WAS MY FAVORITE!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Xplicit19 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 January 2014 at 6:15am
How the fuck do u say that German word is all I can say lol
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Nigma Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 January 2014 at 6:24am
Its a type of wine that youve probably heard a million times in your life but have never seen it written. I promise it flows :) thanks for all the read everyone
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote INK. Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 January 2014 at 6:40am
uppin
#BARS



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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Smoothtung Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 January 2014 at 1:24pm
why is ink bumping this verse?
 
anyway, aha love this nigma! such a great twist at the end, just when I thought I saw it coming she ends up being a cop also! genius man
 
I have to point out this bar though because its on some fly type shit
"Our portrait was important, we conformed to hide in normal sight
A chorus of adepts advise the forming of a mortal minded Mordecai"
 
you know, until the last 2 lines this piece had me thinking of 'centerfold' by the J Giles band..
Just wanted to put that out there cuz im listening to it right now because you, aha
Imagery so vividly intrinsic you might miss it..
Though you never even had the chance to witness it
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Kiki Spirez Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 January 2014 at 2:07pm
Multi's and internals were on point, as per usual. 

You've really grown as a writer man. Cos you started out as someone with a great vocab and multi game, but the substance was always quite rigid, the moon and the stars, fantasy stuff, plucking nice but irrelevant imagery out of thin air. They were always enjoyable, but I do admit that I like to see an artist that can have technique, whilst having a sense of humour and looseness about his content. 

And I think you've definitely combined the two now, and this is a perfect example. Your structure was flawless, but most of it sounded like speech you'd use in normal conversation. 

I especially loved the opener, the flow and choice of words was brilliant. 
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Nigma Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 January 2014 at 4:17pm
Sorry Smooth, I posted on my wrong account. Hate when that happens... Thanks for the lovely feedback from you both :)
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote -Que- Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 January 2014 at 6:50pm
whuddup my Nigma! Shit.....you know what I dig.....its that Old World type of vibe you put out. Like shit historians debate about. You be droppin chapters of shit that contain so much good usage of vocabulary. But yet you keep that Gladiator/Philospher/scientific edge. A deadly combo!

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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Nigma Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 January 2014 at 5:50pm
Gladiator/Philosopher/Scientific is a great compliment hahah appreciate it man, thanks for reading
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Nigma Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 January 2014 at 8:05pm
Elevation
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Lucky D Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 January 2014 at 8:33pm

First off I like the trasintion from one verse to the next, executed well. Nice vocab in places and execellent descriptive rhymes. The only thing that got me at all was the the odd line that didn't fit, rhyme wise. Odd count. Through off the flow at first. But very well written. I like these kind of pieces.

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