Open Mic: [OM King] Other side

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    Posted: 31 January 2016 at 7:30pm
Once you know you can never go back…

Sailing a wave of an unassailable crave-
Into which I may never return…
A hell of an urge, my genitals surge, congenital splurge
Of euphoria, exploring an uncontainable phase
Been rocked for shore beyond those coastal lines
I-racked with rebellion before rouge Mosul fires
I won’t survive…
Most re-vile, I itch for a dose
A blast from the past when the missile explodes
A chemical weapon that medically beckons
Forever it threatens yet never it lessens
The pain and the rage I trade to be still
My brain is depraved I crave for a pill
I yearn for a thrill, it murders my will
And I’m back in the gutter with a burner distilled
The fluid makes me float on a boat to Bermuda
I’m coaxed in a cloak that chokes an intruder
Roped on the dope, no hope to confuse ya
Soaked in the soap, it’s close to conclusion
Is it a hoax for the folks? A boast reproducin’?
Or a once hidden post for ghosts and illusions?

Getting foggy now on the path to nirvana
Been in a shroud, feel the clasp of the karma
Wraps me in armour, toughens my spirit
Thought I was hard up, now sunken within it
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CHAIN View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote CHAIN Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 January 2016 at 8:25pm


You just had to drop right before the dead line didn't you?
Man, you're a master.
All your verses make me SMH. This one is no different.
Your lines are so calculated.


*salute*

Edited by CHAIN - 31 January 2016 at 9:00pm
+Sick-Witted+
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Cuba View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (1) Likes(1)   Quote Cuba Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 January 2016 at 8:36pm
LMAO...it's about a drugs & a guy that OD's

I just reread it with that in mind, damn, you ruined my OM

Edited by Cuba - 31 January 2016 at 8:55pm
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HP1 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote HP1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 January 2016 at 9:25pm
Exactly @ Cuba... The first lines give it away......could've gone either way though, u are descriptive as heck, well dun very on point. Good luck
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Sammy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 January 2016 at 9:32pm
lol@Cuba, I was gonna say, Chain fuckin ruined it lmao! (even though he did edit his comment, I was unfortunate enough to read his original post, lol!) Still a very dope piece regardless of that lack of a"conception" allegorical intrigue lol. Concept was ill, though. I think somebody alluded to drug usage in their interpretation of the topic. However, the way you crafted the rhyme was top tier, bro. this was definitely a great read.
 
Damn you, Chain!


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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote The Law Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 February 2016 at 5:30am
I actually seen CHAIN's post earlier before he edited. Pretty hilarious Thumbs Up
Dope shit though cuba, haha love how you turned this into the bermuda topic. 
The two concept shit through the bars made this. 

Showing that bermuda and whats within in is a hoax, yet the drugs took him their
which he eventually sunk, being the od. Still some of the word usage throughout the piece
makes CHAIN's original understanding of it valid haha. Good read though. 

Go my Minions!


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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote daydizzle89 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 February 2016 at 12:53pm
Yeah this was dope. Great concept and your vocabulary was really really clean. Some words are always harder to slant for me as im not English. This though was hellas smooth. The flow and the schemes really took off here. Its like butter meets toast. Your metaphors really stuck out to. They were easy to understand and creative at the same time. Also, your assonance is hella smooth with your flow brotha. Not overdone but just right.
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Neek Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 February 2016 at 1:16pm
as I told you, I was EXTREMELY delighted you dropped for this.


the water/boating references were exceptional. overall very well played and another dope ass edition.

burner distilled.
#Bananas
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Cuba Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 February 2016 at 7:49pm
Thanks for the feed guys...

@Dizzle, quite often with my multis I'll try and end on an unstressed syllable and that will either be an assonance rhyme or a half rhyme...but because the stressed syallables in the multi rhyme then you still get the fluidity & it's close enough that it's not awkward. I guess, think of it as almost like the start of the next line...so the actual end-rhyme is the final stressed syllable of the line. I'm often rhyming 5-7 syllables so I figure the last one doesn't matter as much Wink

Hope that helps? Maybe not...
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Post Options Post Options   Likes (0) Likes(0)   Quote Zinaii Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 February 2016 at 9:06pm
I havent read many OM's from you but you never dissapoint when you drop one; this was thoughtfully written; the multis were fluid and nothing seemed out of place; the wordplay in that entire third bar was dope as fuck; I enjoy storytelling that doesnt outright give away whats happening but little hints are dropped throughout that kinda let the reader figure everything out and I thought you pulled that off nicely. Another top tier OM making my decision harder sigh; good shit though
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