Open Mic: [OM King] MODerate Violence |
Post Reply
|
| Author | ||||||||
Kiki Spirez
Superior Member
Joined: 30 December 2008 Location: Chesterfield Status: Offline Points: 4375 Crew: Kratos Kind Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 68-26-0 Form: WWWWLW |
Post Options
Likes(0)
Quote Reply
Topic: [OM King] MODerate ViolencePosted: 07 June 2016 at 12:03am |
|||||||
![]() This is dope. You all blow like throat penetration, I noticed the penguins - A note that you have no elevation, From vote segregation, to 'drop some time' screeching, Cuba's seen more swaying scandals than DUI meetings, SEE OUTSIDE weaklings. Neek flirting with Nig - Bro fall back,
Geek hoping he'll drop a topical piece about his ball sack, You're all wack. But Nigma hides behind Law in more haste, Raps suns and stars, but can only see a moon from Law's waist, You'll fall waste, face down and bobbing with a large shark, Law, i've seen better modding spotting boy racers at Tesco car parks, I cause sparks. Scottys looking at LA like, 'I built ya', His sex life is as inactive, gets less action than Jack Wilshere, A filter to creativity, wanna-be tyrants fearing the lynchers, Arthur stays sending for Con more than Nigerian Princes, You leer at your printers, computers are given a quickie rape, It's a pity mate. But i'm running through the 6 like Drizzy Drake. |
||||||||
![]() |
||||||||
Just Belief
Groupie
Joined: 03 June 2016 Location: L.A County Status: Offline Points: 54 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 0-1-0 Form: L |
Post Options
Likes(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 07 June 2016 at 2:45am |
|||||||
|
I liked the deep metaphors you rocked on this on such as the Penguins No elevation line. I think every line in the entire piece was a smilie or metaphor which is nice to see. The flow and content were coo but it was the metaphorical skill that was the showcase of this one
Good Read.
|
||||||||
![]() |
||||||||
Kiki Spirez
Superior Member
Joined: 30 December 2008 Location: Chesterfield Status: Offline Points: 4375 Crew: Kratos Kind Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 68-26-0 Form: WWWWLW |
Post Options
Likes(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 07 June 2016 at 3:19pm |
|||||||
|
Thanks for reading lad.
|
||||||||
![]() |
||||||||
Endeavor
Senior Moderator
Wiggle wiggle said the bun that jiggle Joined: 03 April 2009 Location: Your kitchen Status: Offline Points: 10000102 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 5-4-0 Form: WWLWLW |
Post Options
Likes(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 08 June 2016 at 8:57am |
|||||||
|
Keekz! Sweet short piece here.
Well, that penguins line went completely over my head lol. I still like the direct approach though!
Lmfao... +1
TALK YO SHIT KEEKZ! This is hilarious.
I think this is my least favorite bar. It works, but not for me.
Had to look up what a Tesco is and it's some sort of supermarket, right? Still, the second line went over my head a bit. Couldn't connect the "modding" to the boy racers... Unless. It's car modding, which is usually horribly done by them cats and saying Law is even worse than that... LOL. Yeah, I think that's it. You can completely disregard the first three sentences lol.
I thought the wording was a bit off in the second line but overall a pretty dope punch.
Ha! This is dope. #giveArthurhisbeltback
Dope ending, loved the Drizzy reference! Overall: Apart from that one bar I thought this was a real nice read. Had some sweet punches and you were quite original in the approach. |
||||||||
|
#Bananas
|
||||||||
![]() |
||||||||
Rutter knows best
Senior Moderator
Joined: 15 March 2014 Location: Manny hood Status: Offline Points: 4529 Crew: EMPIRE ![]() Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 44-12-0 Form: WWWWLW |
Post Options
Likes(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 08 June 2016 at 1:32pm |
|||||||
|
I thought this was a decent piece. Flow and references were good, and it was more on the humorous side than savage. I liked the jabs and it was a fun piece. Although i would liked to see you go for the throat a bit more. Overall decent piece though dude with its bouncy flow.
|
||||||||
|
#bananas
|
||||||||
![]() |
||||||||
Kiki Spirez
Superior Member
Joined: 30 December 2008 Location: Chesterfield Status: Offline Points: 4375 Crew: Kratos Kind Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 68-26-0 Form: WWWWLW |
Post Options
Likes(0)
Quote Reply
Posted: 08 June 2016 at 11:31pm |
|||||||
|
Thanks guys. In the end, it's difficult to go personal for something playful like this competition. It's more like a roast than a diss. So wanted to keep it jokey.
To explain a couple of bars.. Arthur started the call out thread with a group of penguins, representing the mods - penguins can't fly lol.. In the UK you get a lot of boy racers with shitty modded cars that rev around Tesco car parks, thinking they're in fast and furious. And finally, Jack Wilshere is an England player going to the Euro's, despite having hardly played any football this last year. Appreciate your time though. Keep up. |
||||||||
![]() |
||||||||
Post Reply
|
|
|
Tweet
|
| Forum Jump | Forum Permissions ![]() You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot create polls in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum |
|