Open Mic: Through the Loving Glass.

Very good. Welcome back. I knew you'd be back.

I noticed that about us, eh? We can just go and go and go now... no one can stop us, no one can shut us up, no one can say shit to us that we can't say, "So what?" to... lol... checkmate, fools. We win. You lose.

Thanks for reading X. And well done in your prelim.

My phone is about to die. Ill be back in an hour.

very good man, this shit was real. i loved every bar homie. the hook was good too. all had good flow throughout. so congrats, this was really dope in my opinion!

I think the rhyming was good and it definitely flows....
But it seems very...indirect to me. As if this is one of those written that only you fully understand the meaning behind....as if this was written but with no real regard to the reader as much so as it was too how you felt about what you were writing about.

I'm not sure if I'm off in left field here but could you give me a straight forward elaboration on the content of this?
In pm or in you're thread.

Either way good to read and keep writing.
Yes I read it fully through.

Thanks for the feed mate. 

First part-dope. I had a lot of emotions and expressions to relate with.and this fact alone made it a masterpiece for me. Your story started out very smooth.it was giving vibes of curiosity. Then you picked up speed along with the interest of reader. Every line made me starve for more of it cuz it was striking straight to my heart ya know.
Some bars were good and some were dope. Im quoting the bars i enjoyed the most from the first part.

God hands me a cent- I take the shit and trade for a note, 
Heart break will make cries escape straight up my throat,


I figure US.. As a couple wouldn't be trouble for my group, 
'It's not cuddling and kissing, it's a bubble, and a hoop- 
Around the root of your feelings, she's been stealing you, 
Revealing the meaning of your change, and seeing who..' 
Can I believe in you?! The guy looming over my good times?! 
Stood in the mud.. Now i'm above it.. Want me to love lies?!


Cos I count all of you buds.. Schucks!.. Fuckin' family guys! 
Can I be a rabbit that's just had blasts crammed in his eyes?!
Man i'm surprised.. Mind, you knew about that therapist shit, 
If memory sits, this prick was the first to say I was 'mentally sick'! 


I'm used to the mood! So why not use me 'til you've gone! 
 ^^^ this line - im speechless.

2nd part-dam ki- again, you decreased the pace and let the emotions sink deeper. very solid work and purely natural feed. Then after "NO don't do that...please", you started picking up the pace. These variations kept me glued and didn't let my interest stumble through the whole piece. Very impressive.


Better put on some lotion when I do the next.. Maybe i'll use the Swiss Alps, 
Hope you didn't miss out on the email.. I wasn't shouting, I just hit ALT's.. 

He's useless cutey.. I'm your dude, your man, your romantic on steed, 
It's frantic you see, but I planned it.. 'Til your fan ran to get free, 
Landing a squeeze on his knees was necessary, you know I hate blood! 
I praying for you mate! But i'm not waiting.. And you know what they say bud..
They say bloods thicker than water.. So what's a thump and a thud? 
If bloods thicker than water, then you'll be snug just dumped in that tub.. 
^^^^^ CLASSICAL!

You make me feel.. ARGHHHHHHHH!!.. Stop crying unless it's for happy stuff! 
OR LAUGHING AT THE FACT THAT YOUR FAGGOT IS SLACK AGAINST A CRAPPY TUB!

^^^ lol idk was it intentional or not, but i was really deep in the whole piece when suddenly this bar came and made me lol. 

What?.. Where's your Courtney? Who?.. And your son?.. Please, believe in Kiki.. 
They'll be released, i'll tell you where they'll be, as long as you come and see me..

3rd part-
Opening two bars had deep emotional vibes. And fuck you very much for elaborating the topic before I've read and trying to ruin my end. Well, i saw yo "elaboration" after the piece. So... As the end came near and ypu admitted  "kid" thing, you killed the piece too. Dope as fuck.

Baby? I saw you briefly at the court case, your face when I got life, 
Maybe I didn't expect support like, but I still say that you're nice, 
Sure i'd- Like you to have brought flowers, chocolates or some wine, 
But your mugs fine.. Your look is sublime.. We all have to hug sometimes.. 

What can i say now... Dope... 5 starts.one of the best piece.
Lots of prop and respect.

lol how many girl friends you have? are they all giving you trouble..lol

anyways, I was surprise this piece kept me entertained till the very end.. some parts were touching.. and as i''m reading it gets interesting and better n better in terms of story.. other than that the flow was smooth and each piece had well balanced rhymes .. so I didn't have eh! uh! type of sounds.. To write this amount of writing it must be related to your personal life experience.. good stuff kiki.. keep it up..

Thanks Titu, always appreciate really insightful feed.