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Point Blank 
Superior Member 
Joined: 20 May 2005 Status: Offline Points: 7234 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 92-27-5 Form: WWNWWN |
 Topic: Round 1 - Battle 2 : VotesPosted: 08 April 2008 at 10:54am |
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Please vote for your 2 favourite verses from this battle
Voting will end on the Monday 14th April The 2 verses with the most votes will advance. Please don't fuck around with the poll, and only explained votes will count Edited by Point Blank - 08 April 2008 at 10:56am |
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Kay B
Superior Member
Joined: 28 June 2005 Location: Watford Status: Offline Points: 9428 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 58-32-0 Form: LLWWWW |
Posted: 08 April 2008 at 5:58pm |
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Verse 1 Dope as fuck love how u stuck to one multi/rhyme scheme throughout the entire piece flow was dope as fuck general content was real nice and kept me hooked with the story real nice verse
Verse 2 Nice verse, flow seemed real choppy to me though lines seemed stretched and i had to have REALLY long breaths just to finish them without pauses, vocab was nice and story was cool wasn't really feeling the ending though kinda ended too quickly...Overall nice verse though Verse 3 (Why did i need to highlight this to see it?) real nice verse story was cool flow was real nice until the middle section seemed to fall off abit there but than picked up general content was nice made the story a good read closer was nice Verse 4 Dope verse real nice...Flow was perfect content was dope, vocab was dope my fave verse of the round kept me reading throughout multis and rhyme scheme were nice...overall dope verse Liked bits in all verse but i felt 4 & 1 were the best outta the 4 Vote - Verse 4 & 1 |
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SageOne
Standard Member 
Joined: 12 June 2006 Location: At Your House Status: Offline Points: 2976 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 34-13-2 Form: WLWLLL |
Posted: 08 April 2008 at 6:57pm |
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Verse one was raw...really worked well and stayed on topic...great read...awesome flow...overall a great way to start the round.
Verse two was also very good...another consistent piece with a great flow, on-point bars and a good story throughout.
Verse three wasn't that great to me, it was decent, but I think the vocab was lacking a little bit...seemed a little too unrealistic...like something someone in a bad Mob movie would say...nothing too amazing here.
Verse four...another close competitor...really nice use of vocab but the flow was confusing for a second, had to re-read it twice to completely comprehend...everything else was pretty much golden.
So...I have to give my vote to 1 & 2 for consistency, their stories were told amazingly, they really portrayed the topic without straying from it...and they both were VERY well written.
Verse four was also fairly good...but it was a bit choppy...which is what gives verse 2 the vote as opposed to verse 4. Great round fellas.
Vote:
Verse 1
Verse 2
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dalinquent
Superior Member
Joined: 04 June 2004 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 4687 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 29-23-1 Form: WLLLWL |
Posted: 08 April 2008 at 7:53pm |
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Verse 1
Lyrically pretty nice, Much respect to the fact that you use'd the same rhyme scheme throughout your entire verse. I wasn't really feeling some of the multi's tho, Just seem'd forced to me...Props tho Story wasn't nearly as good as your multis tho, Felt it was too weak... I can;t really describe it but it was like it didn't capture me, or I never got caught up in the story... It was also a weak story to begin with... Was the typical approach to the story, and thus a bad topical Overall, An okay verse, lyrically good, topically bad so it was so so ------------------------------------------------------------- Verse 2 This was lyrically nice as well...Multi's were consistently well put together which made reading it easy...And more pleasurable, lol... Flow was cool throughout and as far as the basics go, they were cool and well executed, props... The story here was nice...Like'd the plot alot, Way to make something outta nothing with the topic... Felt the lyrical attributes help'd get the story across better... Wasn't the typical run from cops story either... You hinted to strategy with the story which made it more appealing Overall, Nice verse ------------------------------------------------------------- Verse 3 Lyrically cool, Not as good as the first 2 multi wise... There were instance in the verse were the multis were force'd which took away from meaning, And I exaggerated that loss alot while reading...Luckily the main mess up was toward the end, so much wasn't actually lost...Other than multis, foundation was good Story, hmmmm...Must admit I dont remember ur storyline...1 sec...Oh yea, Your story was okay...As ya can tell was pretty boring cause I had to look twice in order to write this...I think it was boring because it was so similar to the second story plot wise... This was a major downfall since the second was better than your imo... Overall, Cool verse, nothing special ------------------------------------------------------------- Verse 4 Lyrically was nice besides a few instances where I felt the lines were too long...Multis were cool tho...Pretty much all good besides those few long lines Story was nice... Story was similar to that of the first verse, except much more creative and specific...Which was nice, You took a generic topic, and a generic approach and you made it work which is really hard to do... I loved how you ended the verse with the same words you started it... Was a nice way to make the story hit home imo, really tied the plot together Overall, Pretty good verse, Apart a few things, it was dope ------------------------------------------------------------- Overall, This battle was cool, Again 4 pretty decent verses even tho 2 of em just weren't hitting for me...Felt like verse 1 and 3 were just weak, but thats just because of my personal preference...And so 2 and 4 are my choices to advance |
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Freeda5thDawg
Standard Member
Joined: 19 June 2006 Status: Offline Points: 1324 Crew: Lyricist Inc. Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 5-1-0 Form: WWWLWW |
Posted: 08 April 2008 at 10:21pm |
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VERSE 1
Lyrically - A flawless rhyme scheme...good rhyming throughout...but there were i think two instances where you stretched it, messing up the flow... Story - Basic...there wasn't any creative plot to it...it was a one moment scenario throughout...nothing too indepth...the multi's were a lil more of the focus...if that wasn't the case, you coulda created something with much more to it then just a case where they run and get caught... VERSE 2 Lyrically - Vocabulary was very well used...the rhyme schemes were nicely balanced, the flow was a lil off edge, though the structure was well constructed, sometimes, the syllables of words stretched the line... Story - Vivid descriptions, sequence was well told...you had a larger plot...the idea was well applied throughout the story...the ending was a good add in to spice up the outcome, nothing too risky or twisted, but it helped...good job... VERSE 3 Lyrically - for the most part, you had a good flow...your rhyming and word usages made for an enjoyable verse to flow on... Story - almost a smaller version of the second verse...doesn't seem to get any deeper than what's being told already...didn't seem like there's anything else but simply how you're being chased and at last, you go out fighting...though i really liked how you worded your ending, the story itself didn't impress me... VERSE 4 Lyrically - you put multis in some good parts, and put too many words in the long bad parts...you did put in for good vocabulary though... Story - though it's not very indepth, the way you progressed throughout the story was interesting...it's like reading an actual book as the plot gets even better...you continued on describing the situations very well...and ended it in a clever way, going back to how you intended it should be, nice... ----------------------------- Overall...VERSES 2 and 4... |
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Calibra
Standard Member
Joined: 28 March 2008 Location: Newcastle, UK Status: Offline Points: 2969 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 20-3-1 Form: WWWWWN |
Posted: 09 April 2008 at 3:49am |
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Verse 1
I really liked this verse, the fact you stayed with the same scheme was good, didnt limit you too much in the story. This was definatly a more lyrical verse than an actual story... I still thought this was a great read!
Verse 2
This was a real solid verse. Was well constructed with nice multis, flow was decent throughout! The story itself was good too.
Verse 3
Really wasnt feeling this verse. It flowed ok, nothing special with the story. Lyrically was fine but not enough to stand out over the other 3.
Verse 4
Thought this was the best verse of the 4. Real good story which as Free said progressed well through the verse. Multis were cool and flow was nice.
Vote
Originally I was going to go with 1 and 4, but as I thought about it this is a topical and the story is generally more important than the content. Verse 1 had multis but the story lacked slightly, I enjoyed reading it but Verse had a better story and still had good multi usage.
So my vote goes to Verse 2 and Verse 4.
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Rameez
Superior Member
Joined: 31 July 2007 Location: Brampton, CDN Status: Offline Points: 3922 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 22-40-4 Form: NWWWWW |
Posted: 09 April 2008 at 12:54pm |
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Verse 1
.. good flow, rhyme scheme was balanced.. easy to read.. and I like the way u used different concept such as sam, sumo, jews.. nice plays.. that kept me entertained.. overall nice! however the lines were bit stretch in the last lines, the starting was not well made, i.e introduction how u getting involved? how u end up there? 7/10 Verse 2.. nice flow.. your story was designed perfectly.. it tell the reader that is going on and what will going to happen ahead.. Very descriptive.. didn't find any error while reading.. excellent performance.. 10/10 Verse 3 U have the same problem as the first verse, improper introduction... u just used different concept to entertain the reader to describing your situation.. but we want to know how it start and so we have idea why u got cage...lol 6.5/10 Verse 4 Wow this verse had a nice story.. this was not as descriptive as verse 2.. but u had a good start and a good ending. rhyme scheme was balance,, stretch line didn't bother me alot but I'll take mark off for that..lol.. 8.5/10 Overall: Verse 2 A+  and Verse 4  A. |
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Fatal
Superior Member
...Wicked Wit Wordplay... Joined: 08 March 2005 Location: Chicago Status: Offline Points: 6441 Crew: The Dynasty Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 44-4-2 Form: WNNWWW |
Posted: 12 April 2008 at 8:07pm |
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First two were great flow wise....had nice enough story....second two were also very good flow wise...but a more enjoyable story. Three was the best tho...
3 & 4 get my vote...
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Point Blank
Superior Member
Joined: 20 May 2005 Status: Offline Points: 7234 Text Rank: Unranked Stats: 92-27-5 Form: WWNWWN |
Posted: 14 April 2008 at 2:24pm |
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Props voters
Verse 1 - Chain is out Verse 2 - SpellBound advances Verse 3 - Sparta is out Verse 4 - Senor Perfecto advances |
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