Battles under Review: MayDayMozart vs nair

MayDayMozart vs. nair

6 bars.
No flipping.
Deadline 24 hours.
I'll spit first.
Acknowledge.
Check???

He's Indian, I'm Indian, both are Amateurs.........




Karthik? Ya! Slick prick, I know that dick, He's in my 'dick'tionary,
Which features them creatures gangbanged by life straight up in missionary !


Revolutionary rap won't suit you nigga, better start writing obituaries,
For yourself, 'cuz " Thy end is nigh, thou art' destined to mortuary."


How old are you baby? Or maybe you still writhe in ur incubator,
AlmaMater! Later when ur out ask the doctor 'bout a MayDay terminator !


I'm crack at maths, takin' cube roots, leavin' burnin' fags for denominators,
I ain't Pac, hater! But I'm back, leavin' u - nutsack, in search of calculators !


To calculate the damage, the hemorrhage, yeah! I'm hell of a homo sapien,
My city ,my turf, I'm it's champion, you? You're a le'bian homo, out o'town , an alien!


This diss - 'tis service, to dismiss, to piss u off into deep abyss,
Ur business - play tetris, 'cuz u ain't Alice or Katniss to climb out of this.




Expo
Bar 1 - his name's Karthik. By my books, his life sucks.
Bar 2 - stop rapping, and write your own obituary. (I'm killin' ur rap soon)
Bar 3 - You're a baby still in an incubator. When u grow up, ask ur doc 'bout me, I'm a pretty famous.( Alma Mater : not english , latin for GenerousMother!)
Bar 4 - Self explanatory. Just word play.
Bar 5 - I'm a homo sapien he's a homo lesbian.
Bar 6 - I diss him bad enough to push him into an 'abyss', leaving him worth for only playing tetris. He ain't no Alice in Wonderland or Katniss in Hunger Games to climb iut of it.



Waiting for ur reply....an hour left for deadline!!!

Flipping was not allowed...
It's totally flipped...
Get some originality nigga!

Still....who wins???

Huh....!
Wasted my bars.

Manc, ur awesome dude!!!
But still guys do vote.
Neglect that no flipping rule, I'm fine with it, vote as if flipping was allowed....!
He's new over here , so must be oblivious of them rules...

Manc wrote: Me ..... a lot

I second that!

Both were basic, And structure won this for Mayday, Nair had no type of structure or flow,  

Mayday ur style is off the wall haha good to see sum originality. First bar ehhh wasnt feeling it to much butbprops for the attemp. Second not really a punchline. Write ur own and obituary bc "" sumthn culda ben added here to make it a better line. Third line was self hype and not attacking the opponent. Fourth bar i dont even understand wat u were trying to do here u had a math scheme but it didntnreally make sense. Inwuld have left that out. Fifth bar u started wit calculate the damage which shulda been in the other bar bc it ended very confusing. The punchline in the second wasnt feeling it. Closer pretty tame but probably the best bar of ur verse. Ur pretty creative ill give u that. Work on attacling the opponrnt and adding sting to your lines. Make sure the ideas make sense write for the voters not urself.

Nair first chsnge ur structure very very simple rhyming here im exhausted from feeding mozart so mozart gmv for a better verse overall

MOZ- ok u need to stop posting that quote icon from facebook bro its lame..and a huge oppurtunity to land a good punch...just advice no hate. at all. your elevating here a bit but the progression is slow moving. i liked the homo sapien bar and wprd play there i find that to be the best bar out of the verse imo. but look a couple of your bars especially the opener which is one of the essential bars u need to be sick made u sound like a homo dude stop talking about dicks !! like forreal lol. also you really need to centralize and find a solid focal point with your concepts to create good effective disses. becausw most of the battles from you i read all just for tue most part besides one or two decent lines/bars just sounds like a bunch of ranting....



NAIR-first off omfg your user name is comedy amd punch in itssf wtf ! hahahahhahahahah like i use that shit bro..im a fukin female ! not good ! lol but anyways . you need to work on making your punches less basic more personal with better flow and u need to work on ur structure but for the amount of time uve been here u have a decent idea of what to do in a battle. you need to make ur verse more cohesive to cuz this was pretty choppy. your best punch and imo best punch of this not very good battle was the line about how he may have won a few battles ect ect. And ivlovvvved the part about shwartzanigga! funny shit and i see the metaphor u were trying to form here. right idea. try not to flip ur opponents verse back on them tho as the basos for 80% of ur verse.... its just not a good thing to do and hinders ur chances of winning in every way and is frowned upon in battles


but for having better punches and making more sense and having better more focused concepts

MVGT-NAIR